Katamari Damacy is great, and so are side-scrolling shooters.

So what happens when you combine the two? TUMIKI Fighters, that’s what.

You shoot things, they die, you try and catch destroyed enemies as they plummet off the screen, you get bigger, it’s fun. That’s about all the explanation we can offer, so instead – as a special treat – here’s a video of it with some excellent music:

Get It Here:

TUMIKI Fighters

Sorry kids, we’ve opted out of a browser-based time waster here. But when it’s this good, who cares?

Yes, Mu-Cade. Incredible. It’s a 6MB download and you need a PC built within the last 30 years to be able to play it – just a warning. So what is it? What do you do? Let’s have a look at the documentation on the game’s official website:

The Physics Centipede Invasion

Smashup waggly shmup, ‘Mu-Cade’

It really doesn’t get much better than that. But how to play? Look:

Keep your ship from falling down and push enemies out of the way.

Simply stunning. It’s actually fun, too, which is something of a bonus.

PLAY IT NOW (well, download it now):
Mu-Cade

So here’s the final SLACKERJACK entry of my brief tenure at the top, and by golly is it a doozy.

Warning Forever is another download-and-install jobby for you technophobes to be afraid of, but it’s yet another one in the list of ‘jesus H everything this is bloody brilliant’. One of the most addictive experiences you’re ever likely to encounter, this is pure, all-out scorewhore fun.

But how to describe the game? Detail? Subtle intonations covering the many facets of the design? Nah, we’ll just let the game’s creator speak for himself:

“A shooting game with vertical scroll. In this game there are only you and the boss ship. The more you beat a boss, the more next boss becomes strong. You have 180 seconds in first time, and it decreases. Time will increase, if a boss is beaten, and if you die, it will more decrease. Beat more bosses, before time is lost.”

Now, not to sound like a patronising twathole – but isn’t that the cutest description you’ve ever read? And it should make you immediately visit the site, download the game and get hopelessly, thoroughly, completely and totally addicted.

There are hidden depths to the game too, with secret powers sitting alongside special methods to play through more successfully – note: not methods to help you finish the game, as you can’t actually do that. It just goes on, and on, and on. But that’s one of the things that makes it so great – it’s a pure gamer’s game, one that forces you to challenge and better yourself constantly. It’s just… great.

Let’s not forget that it looks bloody lovely too.

Free games are awesome, and not just limited to flash-based boredom-busters. Don’t forget that when I’m dead* and gone.

*Not dead, just gone.

GET WARNING FOREVER HERE