Jade Goody – a creation of Lord God when he was either experimenting too much, or was drunk. Really, that is the only conclusion we can draw when trying to analyse and work out this woman.

Previously confined to one of London’s many gutter suburbs, her shrieking ways were projected to a far greater audience when she entered the Big Brother 3 house five years ago. Yes, that’s right: five bloody years ago.

Unlike most Big Brother contestants, this annoying cockroach didn’t lose its head after the show ended and consequently die out of the public’s view a year later. Strangely, she managed to keep a decent profile in the public eye and launched successful perfumes despite them smelling like a cross between vomit and Lynx Africa.

But when her fame did start to run out, she returned to the one thing that gave birth to her – Big Brother. In 2007 she returned as a “celebrity” and gave the show all the publicity it needed. Sadly 54,000 complaints of racial abuse wasn’t what Channel 4 had in mind.