It’s obvious that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie pick their childrens’ names via a complex system of shuffled Scrabble tiles, darts and fevered Glossolalia.

Although it has plus sides – like the way that it gives Brad and Angelina a bit more of the attention that they so obviously crave – giving their children a variety of stupid names was always going to come back and kick Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie up the bum. And now it has.

You see, Brad Pitt says that Shiloh Nouvel – the oldest biological Jolie-Pitt – has decided that Shiloh is a stupid name for a child. So now she’ll only answer to the name John. We can only pray that this trend ends now – while John is still a funny name because of the gender issue, all it’ll take is for Pax Thien to decide he wants to be called Alan and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will be laughed out of the Hollywood elite.