Articles tagged with: Shia LaBeouf
Shia LaBeouf Is Definitely Not Making Sexy With His Mother (Unless He Is)
Holy Oedipus complex Batman! Look who is claiming not to be having sexy thoughts about their own mother, despite talking about little else for the whole of this month. Let's be clear, sexy thoughts about one's rellies is about as natural as Coke Zero. Or the cheese in a Big Mac, if you will. So why oh why this Shia LaBeouf bloke took to telling the world about the unsettling things going on in his brain is any one's guess.
Holy Oedipus complex Batman! Look who is claiming not to be having sexy thoughts about their own mother, despite talking about little else for the whole of this month. Let's be clear, sexy thoughts about one's rellies is about as natural as Coke Zero. Or the cheese in a Big Mac, if you will. So why oh why this Shia LaBeouf bloke took to telling the world about the unsettling things going on in his brain is any one's guess.
WEBTHUMP! June 10 2009
10 - Look at this list of sexy women who don't even exist! Swit swoo! - Interestment 9 - Best infomercial ever. Nobody knows what it's for, but the product is called I Hope You Die Soon. Ace! - Bestweekever 8 - SHEEP IN A CIRCLE! - Geekologie 7 - That bloke off that thing splits up with woman - Amygrindhouse
Transformers 2 Trailer Online & Identical To Transformers 1
Transformers 2 is undoubtedly going to be one of the biggest movies of 2009. Well, OK, maybe not 'biggest'. Maybe we meant 'loudest'. Or 'most pointless'. Or something. Look, anyway, none of this matters because there's a brand-new teaser trailer for Transformers 2 after the jump, and we're about to show it to you - while giving you the full lowdown on it - after the jump. Alternatively, if you've seen the first Transformers movie, you might not want to bother watching the Transformers 2 trailer. It's exactly the same. Exactly. Seriously, we're not joking. Avoid the Transformers 2 trailer like the plague. You're not listening, are you?
Transformers 2 is undoubtedly going to be one of the biggest movies of 2009. Well, OK, maybe not 'biggest'. Maybe we meant 'loudest'. Or 'most pointless'. Or something. Look, anyway, none of this matters because there's a brand-new teaser trailer for Transformers 2 after the jump, and we're about to show it to you - while giving you the full lowdown on it - after the jump. Alternatively, if you've seen the first Transformers movie, you might not want to bother watching the Transformers 2 trailer. It's exactly the same. Exactly. Seriously, we're not joking. Avoid the Transformers 2 trailer like the plague. You're not listening, are you?
Shia LaBeouf’s Driving Licence Gets Mercifully Suspended
People say that Shia LaBeouf should stay away from cars, but really they just mean the movie Transformers. Because, really, Transformers was pants. But, anyway, now Shia LaBeouf really does have to keep away from cars - he's had his driving licence suspended for a year following that crash of his last summer. But just because Shia LaBeouf faces a year without driving a car, it's no great loss - he's just as skilled at riding motorcycles and swinging around on monkey vines and being carried by big ants and however else he travelled around in that bloody awful Indiana Jones film.
People say that Shia LaBeouf should stay away from cars, but really they just mean the movie Transformers. Because, really, Transformers was pants. But, anyway, now Shia LaBeouf really does have to keep away from cars - he's had his driving licence suspended for a year following that crash of his last summer. But just because Shia LaBeouf faces a year without driving a car, it's no great loss - he's just as skilled at riding motorcycles and swinging around on monkey vines and being carried by big ants and however else he travelled around in that bloody awful Indiana Jones film.
Batman 3: The Riddler Is… Wait, Eddie Murphy? Really?
First the good news: it seems likely that the Batman 3 casting rumours can end now. Are you ready for the bad news? The bad news is that Batman 3 director Christopher Nolan appears to have banged his head quite hard on a doorframe and is badly concussed. We've deduced this thanks to reports that Nolan has signed Eddie Murphy to play The Riddler in Batman 3. Eddie bloody Murphy. But it's not all bad, because it's not as if he's also signed Shia LaBeouf to play Robin in Batman 3 as well, is it? It is? Christopher Nolan, you great big sod, what have you done?
First the good news: it seems likely that the Batman 3 casting rumours can end now. Are you ready for the bad news? The bad news is that Batman 3 director Christopher Nolan appears to have banged his head quite hard on a doorframe and is badly concussed. We've deduced this thanks to reports that Nolan has signed Eddie Murphy to play The Riddler in Batman 3. Eddie bloody Murphy. But it's not all bad, because it's not as if he's also signed Shia LaBeouf to play Robin in Batman 3 as well, is it? It is? Christopher Nolan, you great big sod, what have you done?
Eagle Eye Flips Its Truck To The Top Of The Weekend Box Office
This is how much of a superstar Shia LaBeouf is now - he can get a film like Eagle Eye to the top of the weekend box office. Now, true, that might not seem like a big deal, given that Eagle Eye's big US weekend box office competition came in the form of two of the worst movies ever made, but don't let that fool you - Eagle Eye's pretty terrible too, you know. How terrible? Terrible in that it's about Shia LaBeouf running around following orders barked at him by an unseen force. That's right - Eagle Eye is basically the first half of the first season of 24, except that Shia LaBeouf doesn't even get to shoot any foreigners in the face, and he doesn't have a trouble-prone booby teenage daughter. That's how rubbish Eagle Eye is.
This is how much of a superstar Shia LaBeouf is now - he can get a film like Eagle Eye to the top of the weekend box office. Now, true, that might not seem like a big deal, given that Eagle Eye's big US weekend box office competition came in the form of two of the worst movies ever made, but don't let that fool you - Eagle Eye's pretty terrible too, you know. How terrible? Terrible in that it's about Shia LaBeouf running around following orders barked at him by an unseen force. That's right - Eagle Eye is basically the first half of the first season of 24, except that Shia LaBeouf doesn't even get to shoot any foreigners in the face, and he doesn't have a trouble-prone booby teenage daughter. That's how rubbish Eagle Eye is.
Shia LaBeouf Far Too Adorable To Be Charged With DUI
Wow, this really is a lucky escape for Shia LaBeouf - every single copy of his bad new movie Eagle Eye has been destroyed in a fire. Only kidding. In reality Shia LaBeouf has had another kind of lucky escape that's less lucky than nobody being able to ever watch that rubbish new film of his but still lucky nonetheless - he won't be charged for DUI after flipping his car upside down a few months ago. It's not all good news, though, because Shia could still lose his licence for up to nine months, because he refused to submit to a breathalyzer test. Worse still, Shia LaBeouf's crash-mangled hand means that the only movies that he's currently being considered for are The Jeremy Beadle Story, Jeremy Beadle Goes To Outer Space and a little-known erotic thriller entitled Let Me Lick Your Wrist-Nub.
Wow, this really is a lucky escape for Shia LaBeouf - every single copy of his bad new movie Eagle Eye has been destroyed in a fire. Only kidding. In reality Shia LaBeouf has had another kind of lucky escape that's less lucky than nobody being able to ever watch that rubbish new film of his but still lucky nonetheless - he won't be charged for DUI after flipping his car upside down a few months ago. It's not all good news, though, because Shia could still lose his licence for up to nine months, because he refused to submit to a breathalyzer test. Worse still, Shia LaBeouf's crash-mangled hand means that the only movies that he's currently being considered for are The Jeremy Beadle Story, Jeremy Beadle Goes To Outer Space and a little-known erotic thriller entitled Let Me Lick Your Wrist-Nub.
Disturbia Sued For Copying Rear Window, Not For Being Dreck
Original ideas are thin on the ground in Hollywood because, as everyone knows, we're all idiots and new ideas turn us into terrified cavemen. That's why most of the films released these days are either remakes, adaptations, sequels or big honking primary-coloured idiot trumpets starring Adam Sandler called Duh: My Is Yes LOL. But at least we can all say that the Shia LaBeouf movie Disturbia is completely original and pioneering and one of a kind. Even though it's sort of identical to Rear Window. That's something the estate of the man who owns the rights to Rear Window seem to have just figured out, because they're suing Disturbia producer Steven Spielberg over all the similarities to their story. But it's obvious that Disturbia and Rear Window are completely different movies - Rear Window didn't want to make us punch ourselves unconscious, for example.
Original ideas are thin on the ground in Hollywood because, as everyone knows, we're all idiots and new ideas turn us into terrified cavemen. That's why most of the films released these days are either remakes, adaptations, sequels or big honking primary-coloured idiot trumpets starring Adam Sandler called Duh: My Is Yes LOL. But at least we can all say that the Shia LaBeouf movie Disturbia is completely original and pioneering and one of a kind. Even though it's sort of identical to Rear Window. That's something the estate of the man who owns the rights to Rear Window seem to have just figured out, because they're suing Disturbia producer Steven Spielberg over all the similarities to their story. But it's obvious that Disturbia and Rear Window are completely different movies - Rear Window didn't want to make us punch ourselves unconscious, for example.
