Articles tagged with: Shark
Shark Eats Portion Of Ryan Seacrest
Just a portion though. Had the rest of him been eaten our headline would have been 100 times more sensational. You know, it probably would have read 'Shark Eats All Of Ryan Seacrest' or something. See what we mean? 100 times more sensational - that's the stuff people want to read. Had Seacrest been entirely consumed it probably would have been due to his utter refusal to preach Bible things to the Assyrians, whom we can all agree have been on a hot streak of wickedness in the past few weeks or so. He'd have to sit in the sharks belly just long enough to think about what it is he'd done, and sternly resolve to improve. Actually, at this point it is widely unknown if Seacrest's shark attack is a direct result of him offending the Almighty. We, however, having watched over ten minutes of last season's American Idol, are pretty sure it was. What more evidence can anyone ask for?
Just a portion though. Had the rest of him been eaten our headline would have been 100 times more sensational. You know, it probably would have read 'Shark Eats All Of Ryan Seacrest' or something. See what we mean? 100 times more sensational - that's the stuff people want to read. Had Seacrest been entirely consumed it probably would have been due to his utter refusal to preach Bible things to the Assyrians, whom we can all agree have been on a hot streak of wickedness in the past few weeks or so. He'd have to sit in the sharks belly just long enough to think about what it is he'd done, and sternly resolve to improve. Actually, at this point it is widely unknown if Seacrest's shark attack is a direct result of him offending the Almighty. We, however, having watched over ten minutes of last season's American Idol, are pretty sure it was. What more evidence can anyone ask for?
