Wow, Gary Coleman divorce details already?? But, but …but we’re so unprepared.

We thought we had a good three or four more days to prepare our impending Gary Coleman busted up marriage list of mockings and general sardonicism. Apparently not.

Yeah, Gary Coleman’s marriage is going down fast, but that doesn’t mean the Coleman’s aren’t going kick, piledrive and thwomp a dead horse with blunt objects to get as much publicity and exposure out of it as they possibly can. Thus, Gary Coleman and his wife are going to hash out the inevitably queasy details from their dysfunctional marriage for you on the ever so classy TV show Divorce Court. Giddyup.

As big as this metrosexuality thing is, sometimes we just want to go out and find a tiny little man who hits people a lot - right girls?

No? Nobody coming along with us on this one? Well Shannon Price understands. That's because Shannon Price has married Gary Coleman, planet Earth's foremost angry midget. To be fair, Gary Coleman and Shannon Price got married last August and people have only just found out about it, but you can't deny a happy couple when you see one.

Apart from that time Shannon Price called the police because Gary Coleman was so angry that she was scared he'd hurt her - but, you know, apart from that they're probably quite happy.