Larry King notoriously has a thing for the ladies. And by ‘thing’, we mean ‘withered, shop-worn 76-year-old nutsack’.
But that still counts. Larry King has got married eight times now, and each one of them has ended in horrible failure. Why? We always assumed that Larry King only got married to women so that he could drink their spinal fluid in their sleep to keep him young, and then divorced them once he’d cleaned them out. But maybe we were wrong.
Maybe, as it’s being alleged, Larry King gets divorced because his wives discover his affairs with their sisters. According to reports, King had been enjoying a five-year relationship with Shannon Engemann, the sister of his wife Shawn Southwick. So now you have to imagine wrinkly old Benjamin Button toddler Larry King having frail, borderline nightmarish sex with not just one clenched-faced middle-aged woman, but two. You’re welcome, the internet.
