Shania Twain - HecklerSpray

Tyga and Iggy Azalea Are a Weird, Gross New Thing

April 16th, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

While all the performance videos I watched were great (Beychilla was obviously a whole fucking thing), Coachella was a pretty big let down for me from a celebrity gossip-wise. You know this is true because I’m currently blogging about Tyga and Iggy fucking Azalea.

I had had hopes that The Weeknd and Bella Hadid would be caught canoodling at the music festival, but instead he was off with that fake-ass Instagram deejay, Chantal Jefferies. And speaking of fake asses, I guess Tyga and Iggy Azalea are a couple now?

Shania Twain Taunts Us By Nearly Quitting Music After Throat And Emotions Fail Her

May 4th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Shania Twain once told us that ‘the best thing about being a woman is that you get to have a little fun.’ Of course, men have fun too. And when men and women have fun together, everything is just great, right?

Wrong. You see, in this case, ‘a little fun’ happened to be Shania’s husband – Mutt Lange – sticking his member inside Twain’s best friend in the whole world. “That don’t impress me much, uh-uh-uh-ooow“, Shania probably said at the time she found out about it all.

The fallout of this heartbreak left us all tantalisingly close to Shania giving up on music completely, never again subjecting us innocents to the appalling, vomiting country-pop smashes that briefly took over the universe like some kind of sonic herpes.

American Idol: Shania Twain To Judge Now? Or Anyone?

August 13th, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

The world is still struggling to cope with the news that Jennifer Lopez won’t be an American Idol judge.

How are you dealing with it? By shrugging and genuinely not caring one way or the other about it? That’s funny, us too. But widespread apathy won’t find American Idol its new judge, will it? That’s why Shania Twain has become the latest name to be dragged into the palaver.

According to reports, Shania Twain is currently the favourite to become the new American Idol judge because a) she’s a bigger fan of the show than Jennifer Lopez, b) she has more American Idol experience than Jennifer Lopez and c) she won’t go batshit crazy if you accidentally look her in the eye or call her anything that’s not on a pre-agreed document containing acceptably cute nicknames like Jennifer Lopez probably would.

American Idol: Siobhan Magnus Shoves Off

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Statistically, Siobhan Magnus lost last night’s American Idol. But remember that it was Shania Twain week.

So, in a way, everybody lost. Especially you. Shania Twain week was a spectacularly bad move, even by American Idol‘s standards. Not only was it the first episode of the season that could only really be enjoyed by mulleted truckers in Three Wolf Night T-shirts and elasticated waistbands, but it was also the first episode where there was a very real sense that Man! I Feel Like A Woman could leap out and ambush you at any point. Our lives are stressful enough without having to live in that sort of fear.

And last night Siobhan Magnus was voted off American Idol. Although to put things into perspective, she was voted off American Idol because she couldn’t make a Shania Twain song sound particularly listenable. There are worse things to be eliminated for.

American Idol: Shania Twain Overdoes The HRT

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

These early stages of American Idol are never fun, are they? The bad singing. The pants on the ground.

The more Ryan Seacrest than anyone could ever stomach. But at least this year, American Idol has the added benefit of the guest judge. Sure, the guest judges may not be quite as much fun as watching Paula Abdul roll up to every audition 30 minutes late with a frothing mouth and some of her hair on fire, but at least they’re sort of interesting if you lean towards being unnecessarily judgemental.

Last night, the American Idol guest judge spot was filled by Shania Twain. Or, as she’s likely to be referred to forever more, Horny Old Bastard Shania Twain.

Shania Twain: The Inevitable Heartbroken Yelp

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

All break-ups must be difficult, but it probably stings a bit more if your ugly, almost-pensionable husband leaves you for a funny-looking Swiss lady.

Which is why Shania Twain is hurting so bad at the moment, because her 14-year marriage to Mutt Lange ended when he apparently started having it off with a woman who, to all intents and purposes, looks like a fire-damaged Sandra Bernhard bobblehead doll.

But if anyone can keep Shania Twain’s spirits up it’s her fans, all of whom Shania has sincerely thanked from the bottom of her heart in a message on her website. Don’t get too excited, though, because Shania Twain makes it perfectly that her heart has been broken into tiny pieces. So she’s thanking you from the bottom of something that doesn’t even work properly. What a massive bitch.

Shania Twain: Man, I Feel Like Cutting My Estranged Husband’s Willy Off

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Shania Twain and Mutt Lange had one of the happiest marriages in Hollywood. Except that they live about 6,000 miles away from Hollywood.

Oh, and it doesn’t seem like they could have been all that happy either. Actually, just discount that entire opening sentence, it’s pretty much all bollocks.

Anyway, the reason why Shania Twain’s marriage was so unhappy was because her husband Mutt Lange was apparently schtupping another woman. Another woman who worked for Shania and Mutt. Another woman who Shania Twain considered to be her best friend. Seriously, if one of these people isn’t given their own reality TV show soon we’ll be buggered.