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Hey guys! You’ll never guess how much sex Shane Richie’s been having. Quite a bit, so we heard. No, really. He’s actually been having sex.
So the story goes that Alison Hall, the president of The Shane Richie Fan Club (Oxymoron of the Year) had been pursuing the cockney Stud Muffin since she was 13.
When she was 22, with all her body hair and legal rights and such, Shane rammed her. When in Rome, right?
Quickly – think of the very worst thing you possibly can. Forget wars and pestilence and all that nonsense – we're talking really horrific here. What have you come up with?
There's a very high probability that you just thought 'Shane Richie starring in a remake of Minder for Channel Five'. Because, objectively, that's the very worst thing the human brain will allow you to imagine before it goes wrong and has a stroke.
But guess what? There is going to be a remake of Minder, it is going to be on Channel Five and irritating cockney wideboy gasbag Shane Richie will star in it. On the plus side, if you start destroying your TV with an axe now, there's a good chance you'll miss it.
