Articles tagged with: Shakira
Top 26 Pop Star Babes
The pop industry has a lot to answer for. It has created a lot of monsters. Simon Cowell and Kerry Katona spring to mind immediately. But female pop stars are not all talentless bints who clutter up newspapers and snarky entertainment sites (thanks for that) with their inane chatter and their lady bits. Some of them look nice too. In fact, some of them are incredibly sexy. Oh, and some of them can sing too - but not that many.
The pop industry has a lot to answer for. It has created a lot of monsters. Simon Cowell and Kerry Katona spring to mind immediately. But female pop stars are not all talentless bints who clutter up newspapers and snarky entertainment sites (thanks for that) with their inane chatter and their lady bits. Some of them look nice too. In fact, some of them are incredibly sexy. Oh, and some of them can sing too - but not that many.
Shakira Is A Wolf And SHE WILL EAT YOU
WARNING: Popular contortionist and nutbag yodeller Shakira has gone feral and may have killed no or more men. It's true. Last week, two eyewitness videos appeared on YouTube showing the diminutive singer grievously attacking two men in New York City. Now literally fives of YouTubers across the globe have posted similar videos, in which many of the attackers don't actually resemble Shakira in any way. We can only conclude that Shakira is a shapeshifter and that you, reader, may be in danger even as you read this.
WARNING: Popular contortionist and nutbag yodeller Shakira has gone feral and may have killed no or more men. It's true. Last week, two eyewitness videos appeared on YouTube showing the diminutive singer grievously attacking two men in New York City. Now literally fives of YouTubers across the globe have posted similar videos, in which many of the attackers don't actually resemble Shakira in any way. We can only conclude that Shakira is a shapeshifter and that you, reader, may be in danger even as you read this.
Shakira & Gordon Brown Fix Everyone’s Problems
Gordon Brown is in a pickle. Since he became Prime Minister he's been hit with a credit crunch, floods, disease outbreaks and diplomatically awkward Olympic tensions. Clearly the man needs help to get his popularity shifting upwards again. And, having looked at the problem thoroughly, Gordon Brown found the only person on the face of the Earth who even came close to matching his requirements. Shakira. No, really. Shakira. Shakira and Gordon Brown have been yammering away on the phone trying to thrash out a solution to third world education. We know, this news makes us want to rush out and vote for Gordon Brown immediately too, but let's be smart here - if we play it cool enough, Brown won't stop at Shakira. Finally, our dreams of seeing Eva Longoria as a Secretary Of State For Work And Pensions have got one step closer to reality!
Gordon Brown is in a pickle. Since he became Prime Minister he's been hit with a credit crunch, floods, disease outbreaks and diplomatically awkward Olympic tensions. Clearly the man needs help to get his popularity shifting upwards again. And, having looked at the problem thoroughly, Gordon Brown found the only person on the face of the Earth who even came close to matching his requirements. Shakira. No, really. Shakira. Shakira and Gordon Brown have been yammering away on the phone trying to thrash out a solution to third world education. We know, this news makes us want to rush out and vote for Gordon Brown immediately too, but let's be smart here - if we play it cool enough, Brown won't stop at Shakira. Finally, our dreams of seeing Eva Longoria as a Secretary Of State For Work And Pensions have got one step closer to reality!
Shakira Sex Tape Threesome Nothing More Than A Stupid Lie
There are ontological, teleological and moral arguments about the existence of God, but nothing would swing it for us more than an internet video of Shakira being done by two blokes on a boat.
So when we heard that there was a three-way Shakira sex tape knocking about, our cries of "there is a God!" could be heard from miles around. After all, if a Shakira sex tape is the holy grail of sex tapes, then a three-way Shakira sex tape is the holy grail, um, being done by two blokes on a boat.
But the excitement was misplaced - the Shakira sex tape has been unmasked as a cruel April Fool's prank by a DJ in Argentina. A cruel, stupid prank by an idiot DJ in rubbish Argentina. Stupid imaginary God.
