Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
Long before marrying B-list Baywatch actor, David Charvet, Brook Burke was studying broadcast journalism at UCLA. After wrapping up a stint as a TV host, Brooke sashayed her way onto the covers of many Maxim magazines as one of their “hottest” babes.
Since the magazine covers were sure to peter out, Brooke puts on her dancing shoes as a contestant on Dancing With The Stars. After competing, Brooke stayed on for eight more seasons as one of the hosts.
April Love Geary is a leggy model who is known for dating Robin Thicke. She’s 5’11 (180cm) and of Mexican, Irish, French and Dutch descent. She’s cute and sexy. Judging from her IG photos, clearly thinks her butt is her best asset.
Geary is like a Emily Ratajkowski with much smaller boobs. Their body shapes are quite similar although Emily is shorter in height. Born in 1994, she’s a young girl dating an older guy like Thicke, which means everyone needs to get incredibly upset because that doesn’t make sense and isn’t fair and my life sucks boo fucking hoo.
Once the highest earning model in the world, Brazilian hottie Gisele Bundchen is known for many things but mainly her hot body and killer legs.
Although she was born in Brazil, Bundchen is of 100% German heritage and looks the part too. We’ve never been big on her facial features but you have to admit, she has incredible charisma.. especially on-stage. Being 180cm tall (5′ 11″) doesn’t hurt one bit too.
She’s famous for her stunning high stepping cat walk where she kicks her legs out in front and moves like a bitch slaying boss of the universe. Look at that fucking walk:
Born Stacy Ann Ferguson in California with Irish, Scottish, Mexican and Native American ancestry, Fergie is one of those women who would tease you till death without revealing her entire body. Fergie nudes are as rare as pink hippos, you’ll never get to see them in the wild.
But fear not, that’s why we exist. To serve your fetish for this and other naked celebrities. You’ll probably seen Fergie perform in her signature skin tight short dresses and wondered if she’ll ever lose her mind and do a Playboy shoot.
English actress Keira Knightley has nudes and you’re here to see them. Aren’t you excited? Yay. Let’s hold hands and jump for joy. Prepare yourself. It’s going to be a wild ride.
Honestly, I’ve never understood the attraction of Keira Knightley. Sure, she’s got a reasonably pretty face but she’s rather thin and has small breasts. It’s like she’s a really feminine teenage boy. Wait a minute…that’s probably WHY she’s popular.
Isn’t it always the stupid ones that love the weirdest holidays? I can see why people like Christmas, and even why they like Easter, but people get so excited about Halloween that I sometimes question their sanity. Sure, ghosts and ghoulies are pretty good, but still…it’s not really a holiday at all, is it? It’s just an excuse to dress up stupidly and get free sweets until you’re 14 and pimply and people don’t want to open their doors to you anymore.
But God bless, every Halloween you can go out in the middle of town and see people who take it way too seriously, applying fake blood like they were trauma doctors and flashing skin like they’re strippers. Speaking of which – hey everybody! It’s Kim Kardashian!
Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson aka Katy Perry used to be such a lovely girl. She was well-mannered, good-thinking and Christian. She respected her elders, was chaste and pure, and did well to others. Then the pop industry got to her, and she became a massive outlandish tease with massive outlandish…well, let’s not talk about that.
Now I’m no prude, but this is too much. Put the boobs away. There’s so much to this woman that isn’t simply her breasts. But if you looked at her public appearances you’d think that there wasn’t.
Keira ‘The Chin’ Knightley has become known for a specific type of acting (namely, not-acting). That’s kind of unfair. The woman does act – and actually acts quite well at times, despite what her fiercest critics say – but she doees tend to rely on a certain number of shortcuts.
You know the ones I mean. Almost all actors do it. George Clooney does this thing with his eyebrows, but because it’s not quite as noticeable, people don’t pick up on it.
Skin?s nice, isn't it? The biggest organ of all the other organs in your body, according to the internet (though our liver is probably jostling for that accolade), and really good for when you want to stop your other, smaller, organs from falling out and making a mess on the carpet.
Its also pretty good for making a special outfit to wear to old Buffalo Bill?s Valentine?s Day party.
People always say you need to look after your skin, which we do by maintaining a full, thick layer of Vaseline at all times. Beyonce has been looking after her skin, though, by making it white! Seriously. Step away from the Tippex, B, people are starting to think you might be a bit of a racist.
Beyonce is, no doubt, about to fill her Facebook with pictures of her baby despite the fact it has no hair, can’t talk, is probably doing a shit right now and essentially, is like every other baby on Earth. New parents are ghastly aren’t they?
Worse still, is that people are constantly asking people how ‘baby’ is before launching into high-pitched squeaking and saying things like “Amoojieboobieboo? Schmookibaba? BABA? Boogliewoogiedoo? Awopbopaloobop alopbamboom!“
So now, Beyonce has given her first interview about Blue Ivy Carter (who recently became the youngest person to hit the Billboard chart apparently… we’re not sure… didn’t Stevie Wonder have a baby on Isn’t She Lovely?) and she won’t stop going on about it. She even talks about Jay Z being covered in faecal matter.
