Articles tagged with: Sexy
Top 28 Sexy Indie Music Babes
Why do indie babes rock our world so much? There really is something special about a girl with a guitar who can knock out a song you would actually not be ashamed to own on your iPod. But, why? Is it because, unlike their Hollywood counterparts, they actually have some kind of talent? Or is it because, unlike their Hollywood counterparts, they remind you of the smart girl at school who suddenly became really hot in later years? Or could it be because, unlike their Hollywood counterparts, they are the kind of girls you might possibly, possibly, possibly have a chance with? That is, of course, if record sales are down and you are the only straight guy who actually goes backstage to tell them how much you like their music.
Why do indie babes rock our world so much? There really is something special about a girl with a guitar who can knock out a song you would actually not be ashamed to own on your iPod. But, why? Is it because, unlike their Hollywood counterparts, they actually have some kind of talent? Or is it because, unlike their Hollywood counterparts, they remind you of the smart girl at school who suddenly became really hot in later years? Or could it be because, unlike their Hollywood counterparts, they are the kind of girls you might possibly, possibly, possibly have a chance with? That is, of course, if record sales are down and you are the only straight guy who actually goes backstage to tell them how much you like their music.
Hugh Jackman Sexier Than Us, Lies People Magazine
Hugh Jackman. Just the name alone is enough to make women scratch their heads, check IMDb, realise who he is and then go weak at the knees. It must be true, because Hugh Jackman has just been named as People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive. We know what you're thinking. You're thinking "But wasn't Matt Damon named the sexiest man alive by People magazine last year?" And the answer is yes. Yes he was. But following Matt Damon's tragic death before the release of The Dark Knight this year, it's time to pick a new Sexiest Man Alive. And that man is Hugh Jac... wait, we were thinking of Heath Ledger weren't we? Whoops. Anyway, why is Hugh Jackman People's Sexiest Man Alive? Because he's got a film out, that's why. Any other reasons? Probably not, no.
Hugh Jackman. Just the name alone is enough to make women scratch their heads, check IMDb, realise who he is and then go weak at the knees. It must be true, because Hugh Jackman has just been named as People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive. We know what you're thinking. You're thinking "But wasn't Matt Damon named the sexiest man alive by People magazine last year?" And the answer is yes. Yes he was. But following Matt Damon's tragic death before the release of The Dark Knight this year, it's time to pick a new Sexiest Man Alive. And that man is Hugh Jac... wait, we were thinking of Heath Ledger weren't we? Whoops. Anyway, why is Hugh Jackman People's Sexiest Man Alive? Because he's got a film out, that's why. Any other reasons? Probably not, no.
Halle Berry Is Sexy; Also, Pope Possibly Catholic Now
That Halle Berry, eh? She's a funny looking woman - we once saw a picture of Halle Berry in a magazine and we went right off our tea. And yet, despite obviously looking like a sort of cross between the back end of a bus and a bulldog's floppy genitals, Esquire magazine has decided to name Halle Berry as its Sexiest Woman Alive. Which is just weird because, you know, Halle Berry. Bleurgh. No, wait, we got mixed up - we were thinking of former EastEnders and Heartbeat star Nick Berry. He's not actually very sexy at all. But Halle Berry is actually sort of pretty. Anyway, we could be wrong, but in the accompanying interview it seems like Halle Berry equates sexiness with masturbating a lot. There's hope for us yet!
That Halle Berry, eh? She's a funny looking woman - we once saw a picture of Halle Berry in a magazine and we went right off our tea. And yet, despite obviously looking like a sort of cross between the back end of a bus and a bulldog's floppy genitals, Esquire magazine has decided to name Halle Berry as its Sexiest Woman Alive. Which is just weird because, you know, Halle Berry. Bleurgh. No, wait, we got mixed up - we were thinking of former EastEnders and Heartbeat star Nick Berry. He's not actually very sexy at all. But Halle Berry is actually sort of pretty. Anyway, we could be wrong, but in the accompanying interview it seems like Halle Berry equates sexiness with masturbating a lot. There's hope for us yet!
Megan Fox Announces Lesbian Stripper Love, All Teenage Boys Explode
As a terrifying sex cyborg sent back from the future to destroy mankind, Megan Fox knows exactly how much self-abuse she's responsible for. But even though she's easily caused enough teenage ejaculations to power a rocket trip to the moon, Megan Fox knows that her work is still not done. And that's why Megan Fox has told GQ magazine that she once had a sizzling lesbian relationship with a female stripper from Russia called Nikita. We can't congratulate Megan Fox enough for telling us this. Honestly, with the world's financial markets in meltdown and the worst recession for a century looming over us all, Megan Fox implying that she might have once rubbed her clodge against a stripper's clodge has single-handedly resuscitated the ailing tissue industry. Megan, we salute you.
As a terrifying sex cyborg sent back from the future to destroy mankind, Megan Fox knows exactly how much self-abuse she's responsible for. But even though she's easily caused enough teenage ejaculations to power a rocket trip to the moon, Megan Fox knows that her work is still not done. And that's why Megan Fox has told GQ magazine that she once had a sizzling lesbian relationship with a female stripper from Russia called Nikita. We can't congratulate Megan Fox enough for telling us this. Honestly, with the world's financial markets in meltdown and the worst recession for a century looming over us all, Megan Fox implying that she might have once rubbed her clodge against a stripper's clodge has single-handedly resuscitated the ailing tissue industry. Megan, we salute you.
The Inevitable Saucy Prince William, Kate Middleton Photos Mercifully Not Released
Famous people never learn which is perhaps why we love them ever so dearly. They never learn that you never take scandalous pictures and/or video with your significant other and expect them to remain safely under wraps. The most recent example of such folly is Prince William. Stolen photos of him and his little strumpet Kate Middleton were this close to being published before the photos were turned into the police. And as such, we thankfully can now put away this bleach we had on hand in case we viewed the photos and needed to sterilise our eyes.
Famous people never learn which is perhaps why we love them ever so dearly. They never learn that you never take scandalous pictures and/or video with your significant other and expect them to remain safely under wraps. The most recent example of such folly is Prince William. Stolen photos of him and his little strumpet Kate Middleton were this close to being published before the photos were turned into the police. And as such, we thankfully can now put away this bleach we had on hand in case we viewed the photos and needed to sterilise our eyes.
Scarlett Johansson’s Lesbian Kiss With Penelope Cruz Update: it’s ‘Not Sexy’ (it is, They’re Lying)
When Scarlett Johansson tells you something isn't sexy, we wouldn't hold it against you if you believed her. She's a style icon, a Hollywood megastar and a thoroughly beautiful girl. But when the 'not sexy' thing she's talking about is getting off with another one of the most visually pleasing women in the movie business - Penelope Cruz - then, well, we wouldn't hold it against you if you went and told Scarlett she was talking a great big pile of crud. The kiss they shared wasn't a subtle ploy to distract everyone in the world from the fact that all the Hollywood types seem to be getting struck down with one illness or another. No, it's just a part of that new Woody Allen film, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, which is clearly going to be a great big bag of balls. Aside from the scene in question, of course.
When Scarlett Johansson tells you something isn't sexy, we wouldn't hold it against you if you believed her. She's a style icon, a Hollywood megastar and a thoroughly beautiful girl. But when the 'not sexy' thing she's talking about is getting off with another one of the most visually pleasing women in the movie business - Penelope Cruz - then, well, we wouldn't hold it against you if you went and told Scarlett she was talking a great big pile of crud. The kiss they shared wasn't a subtle ploy to distract everyone in the world from the fact that all the Hollywood types seem to be getting struck down with one illness or another. No, it's just a part of that new Woody Allen film, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, which is clearly going to be a great big bag of balls. Aside from the scene in question, of course.
Coldplay Record ‘Sexy’ Duet With Kylie, Public Shudders Preemptively
Coldplay, like you didn't already know, have an album coming out soon entitled Look Mummy I'm Just Like Bono! Wheeee! Or something. And, from what we've heard, the new Coldplay album is a lot like the old Coldplay album - it's all inoffensively big-sounding and the lyrics don't make much sense and it'll work decently enough as a soundtrack to those bi-monthly trips to Habitat with the kids. But one thing it isn't is sexy. Never fear, though, because Coldplay have already found a solution - they've apparently recorded a duet with Kylie. It would have been on their new album, too, except that Chris Martin says it's "just too sexy". Hecklerspray accepts no liability for the almost-guaranteed permanent loss of libido caused by reading that last sentence.
Coldplay, like you didn't already know, have an album coming out soon entitled Look Mummy I'm Just Like Bono! Wheeee! Or something. And, from what we've heard, the new Coldplay album is a lot like the old Coldplay album - it's all inoffensively big-sounding and the lyrics don't make much sense and it'll work decently enough as a soundtrack to those bi-monthly trips to Habitat with the kids. But one thing it isn't is sexy. Never fear, though, because Coldplay have already found a solution - they've apparently recorded a duet with Kylie. It would have been on their new album, too, except that Chris Martin says it's "just too sexy". Hecklerspray accepts no liability for the almost-guaranteed permanent loss of libido caused by reading that last sentence.
Megan Fox Apparently Rather Sexy Now
If you watched the Transformers movie, then you'll have noticed how sexy Megan Fox is. Well, maybe not. Maybe you'll have been too busy noticing how much enjoyment Michael Bay was taking in stomping all over your beloved childhood memories by filling the movie with piddle jokes and confusing Ebonics-speaking robots who enjoy watching teenagers have sex. Anyhow, Megan Fox was also in Transformers and she was sexy. And that sexiness is official, because the results of FHM's 100 Sexiest Women In The World poll has just been released, and Megan Fox is number one. Congratulations, then, to Megan Fox, who can now go to sleep at night knowing that more gawky teenage boys furiously masturbate to disturbing imagined adolescent sexual scenarios involving her than anyone else. Masturbate and then cry. Or is that just us?
If you watched the Transformers movie, then you'll have noticed how sexy Megan Fox is. Well, maybe not. Maybe you'll have been too busy noticing how much enjoyment Michael Bay was taking in stomping all over your beloved childhood memories by filling the movie with piddle jokes and confusing Ebonics-speaking robots who enjoy watching teenagers have sex. Anyhow, Megan Fox was also in Transformers and she was sexy. And that sexiness is official, because the results of FHM's 100 Sexiest Women In The World poll has just been released, and Megan Fox is number one. Congratulations, then, to Megan Fox, who can now go to sleep at night knowing that more gawky teenage boys furiously masturbate to disturbing imagined adolescent sexual scenarios involving her than anyone else. Masturbate and then cry. Or is that just us?
