Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
hecklerspray is massively gay. We’re so queer it hurts. Even the straight ‘spreezies are super ‘mo. You don’t care about that. You want to know whether Kelly Clarkson is a lesbian, for whatever nefarious reasons you have.
So is she?
Well, she doesn’t give the ‘bian ‘bian vibe to us. Not one bit. She couldn’t possibly smell of sex with another woman. Not that this has stopped people speculating that she is. And Kel’ wants to tell us all about it.
Hey you! We assume you’re straight! Why? That’s because we’re the product of a society steeped in the preposterous hocus of religion and, as well you know, religion don’t like the gays. Why? Because they make more money out of straight couples with their christenings and such.
Idiots. As such, when someone says “I’m not straight”, the world goes into meltdown! How can someone be Not Straight?! What would God think?
Mercifully, god doesn’t exist, which means, all you bozos leading a life of solely staring at the opposite sex are missing out on all the fun that actress Evan Rachel Wood has just revealed she can have. That’s because she’s bisexual, which means she can have sex with absolutely anyone she pleases, provided they’re of legal age and not asleep.
