Basshunter, the lovable dance DJ behind such songs as ‘Now You’re Gone’ and… erm… that other one he did, which seem designed to make your brain bleed with hate, has appeared in court in Kircaldy to deny two allegations of sexual assault.
That’s right, the man who followed Ronnie Wood’s former missus, Ekaterina Ivanova, around like a little lost puppy with a somewhat creepy look in his eye is alleged to have sexually assaulted a couple of girls in a nightclub in Fife.
Maybe she was right to keep him at arms length, mind you if you’d been allegedly battered by your ex you’d probably try to keep strange men at more than an arms length, just to be on the safe side. Read More >>>
Donald Duck has always had something to hide. He’s clearly in possession of a penis, as pointed out a million times before that, when he’s taken a shower, he emerges with a towel wrapped around his lower half. However, when in public, he’s a degenerate. A flasher. Baring his feathery bollocks and proudly displaying his Anatidae penis to anyone in eye-shot.
Of course, it’s people’s lack of reaction that sends Donald Duck into one of his famous furious rages.
However, things have taken an even more sinister twist as Donald Duck has been accused of molesting women by groping at their baps with his horrible wing/hand hybrid.
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There is a woman who claims she was raped by David Copperfield.
And although this is a very serious allegation, we heard she’s not 100% sure as he did so with an invisible penis. Obviously the magician is claiming the whole of this absurd as he probably has a wand that can magically make the necessary female anatomical parts appear on anything at any time. Like trees, for instance.
He also claims the would-be victim is up to a trick of her own – an extortion trick.
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