The transfer season may well be over, but the biggest football transfer of the year has just taken place. That’s right, after having their contracts terminated by Sky Sports, public whipping boys Richard Keys and Andy Gray have signed for conference side talkSPORT, in a deal said to be worth roughly the price of a few Fray Bentos pies.

Gray and Keys, or to give them their proper names, Tweedle-Chimp (have you seen how hairy Keys’ hands are? They’re not HD friendly, that’s for sure) and Tweedle-Chump, are to host a new show every weekday from 10am until 1pm.

Presumably the show will primarily involve Gray and Keys explaining the off-side rule to female callers.

A Sky Sports mole, who wished to remain nameless, described news of the signing as, “unbelievable, Jeff.”

We’re not quite sure who Jeff is, but we let the rambling idiot continue, despite the fact he seemed oblivious to the fact Gray and Keys had left. “Really… are they gone?” the mole continued, “I must’ve missed that. I saw them go off but I thought they were bringing a sub on.”

Reports we just made up also state that Gray and Keys’ new show will feature a variety of special guests, which come in the form of legends of the game as well as respected football pundits.

Keys himself did hint at the fact some guests feature more regularly than others, he was heard to exclaim that during rehearsals for the new show, “you could have gone round there any night and found Redknapp hanging out the back of it.”

Gray has found the transition from TV to radio hard though. He’s become paranoid that, without being able to draw a mess of incomprehensible lines across the screen, his analysis of key match points will degrade into a series of strange grunting sounds and attempts to put the microphone down his trousers (with or without the assistance of the nearest female colleague).

With Gray, Keys and Stan Collymore all working for talkSPORT, you’ve got to wonder how scared both the female talkSPORT employees are getting.

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Before Knocked Up, Katherine Heigl was primarily known for being in the world's sappiest, most emotionally-needy hospital drama – but now she's a bona fide movie star.

So really you'd think that Katherine Heigl would have enjoyed being in such a phenomenally well-received comedy movie, since it's paved her way to starring in a bunch of other inane-looking romantic comedies. But not a bit of it, because Katherine Heigl has said in an interview with Vanity Fair that Knocked Up was "hard to love" because it's "a little sexist." But then perhaps Katherine Heigl is confusing 'sexist' with 'capable of eliciting human responses from viewers' – something that Grey's Anatomy has never managed to really do, unless you count yawning as a human response.

By and large, Katherine Heigl was a revelation in Knocked Up, because it showed that a) she could act and b) she had a sense of humour. Compare that to Katherine Heigl's time on Grey's Anatomy when most people either a) didn't know who she was or b) didn't care who she was, and you'll see the difference.

However, behind the scenes of Grey's Anatomy Katherine Heigl gained a bit of a reputation for being outspoken – she was an integral part in the 'Get Isaiah Washington Fired' campaign of earlier this year – and that seems to have bled through to her movie work.

Because – despite being in Knocked Up, a movie that some critics called the funniest American film in years, and playing a role that thousands of actresses would have killed for – Katherine Heigl has decided to slag the film off in an interview with Vanity Fair:

"It was a little sexist. It paints the women as shrews, as humorless and uptight, and it paints the men as lovable, goofy, fun-loving guys. … Ninety-eight percent of the time it was an amazing experience, but it was hard for me to love the movie."

Silly Katherine Heigl. Someone in her position should know that if you star in one Judd Apatow movie, you're more or less allowed to star in every other Judd Apatow movie ever made until the end of time. So by laying into Knocked Up, there's a chance that Katherine Heigl has destroyed the possibility of guaranteed work and giant movie star paychecks for some time.

Not that we're against what Katherine Heigl says, of course. It's refreshing to see an actress talk so honestly about her work, while simultaneously expressing her feelings about an important topic like sexism. But it's just as well that female opinion doesn't count as much as male opinion, or else we'd really have to sit up and take notice of what she was saying. We think it was about housework or curtains or something.

Read more:

Star of 'Knocked Up' calls film 'a little sexist' – Chicago Sun-Times