If the Paul McCartney/ Heather Mills divorce was a movie villain, it'd be one of those invincible ones that doesn't die even when you've smacked its face in with the back of a shovel 50 times.

After a week at the High Court failing to thrash out a deal in private, the judge presiding over the Paul McCartney/ Heather Mills divorce has decided to take things into his own hands and will decide how much cash Heather Mills gets himself.

And then, in a month, that'll be it - Paul McCartney will be divorced from Heather Mills. Unless Heather Mills decides she doesn't like the decision and drags it out through the Court Of Appeals and the House Of Lords for months and months, of course. Which, let's face it, she probably will.

David Hasselhoff is no stranger to washing his dirty linen in public, but that's probably because he made it dirty by either wetting himself or belching up globs of half-chewed hamburger down it.

And David Hasselhoff's pretty swell at idiomatically washing his dirty linen in public, too - just look at the endless public squabbling between David Hasselhoff and his ex-wife Pamela Bach during and after their divorce. However, the good news is that Hasselhoff and Bach have finally reached a settlement about their post-divorce battle over their money and children. Great news for the Hasselhoff children - this settlement means they can now play their parents off each other for material gain instead of just standing around filming David Hasselhoff rolling around the floor gurgling and pushing clumps of fast food into the side of his head because that's where he thinks his mouth is.

Evel Knievel isn't the sort of man you want as an enemy, since the last thing anyone wants is a rickety old man maliciously jumping over your car on his motorbike all night when you're trying to get some sleep.

Because that's what Evel Knievel does if you cross him, you see. Unless you're a millionaire rapper who makes a music video where you dress up in a vaguely Evel Knievel-ish outfit and do stunts, in which case Evel Knievel will probably just try to sue you instead, like he did with Kanye West - the only millionaire rapper so far to dress up like Evel Knievel and do stunts for a music video. Luckily, though, Kanye West has managed to see off Knievel's legal challenge against him with the aid of an undisclosed legal settlement and the world's most awkward impromptu photo session.

You'd have thought that anyone divorcing Hulk Hogan would be happy to leave the relationship with nothing more than a handful of blissful, weirdly aggressive, borderline xenophobic memories to their name.

But that's not the case at all, as Hulk Hogan is quickly discovering for himself. Just days after Linda Bollea, Hulk Hogan's wife of 24 years, surprised the Hulkster by divorcing him, it's been announced that she's after everything that Hulk Hogan's got - namely half of his $9.5 million assets plus alimony, child support fees and health insurance for their son. But Hulk Hogan and Linda Bollea are both adults and we're sure they'll reach a sensible, amicable agreement over the course of time - either that or Hulk Hogan is going to walk around in circles puffing out his cheeks, waving an American flag about and ripping his shirt to pieces, which admittedly does seem to be his answer to bloody everything.