You saw Avatar didn’t you? Every single human on Earth saw it! And most likely, you walked out thinking that it was a pretty rubbish film, but the 3D was pretty cool. Sadly, 3D can only add depth to the image and not the plot. But still. It was fun to gawp at Sigourney Weaver’s really wide back.
Well, we can be underwhelmed all over again, with the added bonus of being kinda bored by 3D trickery, as the release dates for the new Avatar films have been announced!
Of course, in an attempt to make you click bits of our site, we’ll reveal the dates over the jump. If we told you here, you’d simply walk away without reading all the pointless padding we stick in these mediocre articles. Read More >>>
If the failings of Spider-Man 3 could be summed up in two words, they’d be ‘Kirsten Dunst’ – five words and it’d be ‘Kirsten Dunst and everything else.’
So imagine what the forthcoming Spider-Man 4 and Spider-Man 5 movies would be like without Kirsten Dust’s anemic wailing and egg-based dance routines. You’re imagining they’d be quite good, aren’t you. Well, you’re in luck, because Spider-Man director Sam Raimi is giving off the impression that Kirsten Dunst won’t feature in either of the two new movies.
Actually, we should be a bit more accurate – Sam Raimi implied that Kirsten Dunst’s character Mary-Jane wouldn’t be in the new Spider-Man movies. He also hinted that one of the new Spider-Man villains could be a vicious scaly reptilian humanoid, though, so if that doesn’t warrant a callback for Kirsten Dunst then nothing will.
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In the year of Iron Man and The Dark Knight, The Incredible Hulk got somewhat overlooked – which is fortunate because it was a bag of bums.
Quite how much Edward Norton had to do with The Incredible Hulk being a bag of bums is unknown – hacked off at Marvel’s refusal to listen to him, he gathered up his blanket and flounced off in a strop right before the movie came out.
And that could be why Edward Norton doesn’t know if he’s got a future with The Incredible Hulk or not – if he’ll be in a sequel or if there’ll even be a sequel at all. Hopefully there’s a logical reason for this – like because the Marvel heads are too busy trying to track down and destroy every copy of The Incredible Hulk while personally visiting everyone who paid to see it to give them a refund and offer them a consolatory kick in the nuts.
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Step aside originality, because Vin Diesel is about to make his bald self some more movies, yo.
Don’t worry, kids. You won’t have to concern your pretty little heads trying to follow new characters, nor intricate plot lines, because Vin Diesel is going to cling on to the threadbare coat tails of the same old crap he’s done before.
Word on the street is that Vin Diesel has signed on to the third XXX movie, as well as the fourth Fast and the Furious sequel. Oh, and a couple of more of those Riddick film thingies, so get those Blockbuster Video cards ready to tear up the straight to DVD releases.
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Robert De Niro has a dream. Admittedly it’s not a great dream – it involves directing a couple of sequels to that boring movie about the CIA he made – but technically it’s still a dream.
Forget the fact that so few people watched The Good Shepherd when it was released that demand for even one sequel is about the same as demand for a sequel to the Ebola virus, because this is Robert De Niro’s dream. You can’t deny an old man his dream, can you?
Actually, we’re right behind Robert De Niro’s decision to keep churning out sequels to The Good Shepherd. With his current hit rate, one of them’s bound to be a knockabout family comedy co-starring Ben Stiller, and only an idiot would turn down the chance of seeing that, right?
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Everyone knows sequels generally suck.The only reason Hollywood comes up with a second helping is to cash in on the success of the original.
Oh, and the fact that Hollywood hasn’t come up with any original ideas for years. And when they do they want to make the most of it – again, and again, and again…
Well, be prepared – because there is a host of sequels coming our way, whether you like it or not.
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Everyone knows that sequels generally suck. Let's face it, the only reason Hollywood comes up with a second helping is to cash in on the success of the original.
Oh, and the fact that Hollywood hasn't come up with any original ideas for years. And when they do they want to make the most of it. But sometimes sequels can actually eclipse the original.
It's certainly rare. For every Godfather Part II there is a Speed 2, Ocean's 12 and Another 48 Hours waiting in the wings. For God's sake, this was going to be a a top 10, but we could only think of five.
But anyway, here goes:
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You saw Avatar didn’t you? Every single human on Earth saw it! And most likely, you walked out thinking that it was a pretty rubbish film, but the 3D was pretty cool. Sadly, 3D can only add depth to the image and not the plot. But still. It was fun to gawp at Sigourney Weaver’s really wide back. 
