seatbelt - HecklerSpray

Hulk Hogan’s Other Kid Crashes Her Car A Bit Too

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Back when Hulk Hogan was in his prime, the only things he’d destroy were a series of flimsy T-shirts and the national flags of his foreign rivals.

But that’s not enough for Hulk Hogan’s kids. First Hogan’s son Nick wrote off his car – and any chances of his passenger having a normal life – in a spectacular crash, and now it turns out that Hulk Hogan’s daughter Brooke has been in a car crash of her own.

Brooke Hogan getting into a car accident just days after her younger brother was sentenced to eight months in prison for his crash is just plainly irresponsible. If only Brooke had the foresight to make the news for something unrelated to an automobile accident – maybe stabbing a pensioner in the neck or becoming a prostitute – we’re sure her father would be sleeping much more easily at night.

Billy Ray Cyrus Sorry For Being A Seatbelty Tit

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

We've all seen those seatbelt adverts where a car crashes and the seatbeltless passenger gets turned into a mound of whimpering goo – but imagine if that mound of goo was Miley Cyrus.

You'd be distraught, wouldn't you. Miley would have left this world leaving us with only two albums, a slightly annoying TV show and a 3D movie of a concert to remember her by. And that could have been the case after a scene from the Miley Cyrus movie clearly showed Miley Cyrus and her dad Billy Ray Cyrus riding around in a car without a seatbelt on.

But now Billy Ray Cyrus has publicly apologised for their lack of caution. That's not enough, though – we'll only rest when Billy Ray Cyrus wears a seatbelt all the time, even when he's walking around his house or going to the toilet. And if the belt could be wound around his mouth or neck, then that's even better.

Miley Cyrus Finally Does Something Naughty

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

What with all the naked pictures and teenage pregnancies, the world of children's TV has never resembled a grubby diseased whore-pit more closely than now.

But one name has managed to rise above all the trouble like some sort of wonderful teenage angel from heaven – Miley Cyrus. But not any more.

Fans have caught Miley Cyrus doing something so disgusting, so downright immoral and depraved and – yes, we'll say it – evil that it's left her army of adoring supporters reeling in horror. That's right – someone saw Miley Cyrus riding in the back of a car without a seatbelt on. No, that's not a euphemism for unprotected sex – Miley Cyrus actually didn't wear a seatbelt in the back of a car once. What a bitch.