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When Sean Penn’s not being pestered by Scarlett Johansson on the rebound, he’s being all philanthropic and all that jive. Of course, having a political persuasion means you’ll rub some people up the wrong way and they shout at you.
Mercifully for Sean Penn, he’s a grade-a bitch. He has put-downs that could almost match the output of a drag queen convention.
And who found this out at their cost? Why, if it wasn’t a co-star of his who accused Penn of being a Communist. What fun!
Scarlett Johansson’s boobs. She showed them off to us by accident didn’t she? That’s probably the thing she’ll be remembered for when she dies. Boobs, oh and she did some films. Better to be remembered for titties than forgotten entirely, right?
Either way, we’re not here to talk about breasts all day. We’re talking marriage. Pull up a seat. Let’s get deep.
See, Scarlett is under the assumption that marrying Ryan Reynolds was one of the best decisions she ever made. She split with him after two years and made one of the most annoying perfume adverts in history. But it was still totally the best thing she ever did. Ryan Reynolds. Think about that.
Ryan Reynolds – man that is made entirely of gym instructions – and Charlize Theron – a woman designed to occupy thongs – have apparently been dating for months, and were both so simple minded (much like cows in a field) that they forgot to tell anyone… including themselves.
A source close to the pair has revealed to at least four people who were half-listening, that the pair are officially ‘in a relationship’, telling reporters: “They’re exclusive, and it’s very hush-hush.”
Presumably, even Charlize Theron doesn’t want to admit that she’s going steady with the man responsible for the dreadful, dreadful Green Lantern film.
It’s nice to know that, even though you’re widely regarded to be one of the most beautiful humans who ever walked this pathetic excuse of a planet, you can still be hugely flawed and make an idiot of yourself before someone you really, really fancy.
We’re talking about Scarlett Johansson and her besottery with Sean Penn, perhaps one of the most baffling celebrity hook-ups in a decade, what with him having a face like wrinkled elbow-scrag.
See, it appears that the romance between the Hollywood beaut and the wizened actor had to die because Scarlett was into Penn way too much, leaving him widening his eyes and mouthing ‘What the f…’
You may well think that Scarlett Johansson is the most beautiful woman you’ve even seen, which probably means that you think you don’t stand a chance of ever making out with her. Well you do, because she’s decided to tap a troll-faced Sean Penn. Repeatedly. While Barack Obama watches on.
That’s right mingers, Johansson has long been rumoured to be swapping fluids with Penn, despite the fact he could curdle the vapour in the air with his foul face.
And while in the presence of President Obama, Mila Kunis and Donald Trump, Scarlett decided to indulge in a spot of heavy petting with Penn at Saturday’s White House Correspondents Dinner in Washington, D.C. Honestly. They were like teenagers at a roller disco, all grunting and dribbles.
Scarlett Johansson is rumoured to have been dating Sean Penn for the last two months. Therefore, it was no real surprise when there were pictures taken of the pair eating lunch together; lunch that had a happy ending; lunch for which she paid.
Well, cry yourself to sleep no more, dear hecklerspray reader/ squatter of the hecklerspray hovel. If the reaching rumours are true, you’ve just as good a shot as anyone at bedding the buxom baby Marilyn Monroe.
There were raised eyebrows at the news the 26-year-old and 50-year-old were less dating and more sleeping together for kicks and column inches. Our stomachs had just settled when these rumours were followed by ones of Scarlett dating Jason Sudeikis and flirting with Kevin Connolly.
You probably fancy Scarlett Johansson, even though you might need three or four attempts at writing her name before you’re convinced you’ve done it correctly. Even so, you think ‘great rack!’ or whatever.
When she split with her husband Ryan ‘Who He?’, many of you will have started daydreaming about a time when maybe, just maybe, you might bump into her and you’ll fall in lust with each other for a night of passion.
Well forget about it. Why? Johnasson is apparently now stepping out with pumice faced thesp, Sean Penn. A man, we assume, is yearned for because of his talents.
When Wyclef Jean announced that he was running for president of Haiti, everyone laughed. Surely he wasn’t being serious! What next? Pras Michel trying to be mayor of Trumpton? But he was. Very serious. Y’see, he really cares maaaan.
Yes indeed, the rapper and former Fugees one-timer made his first televised announcement of his bid for Haitian president last night on CNN.
And now, Sean Penn (what’s he got to do with it?! Read on, you’ll see) is wading in questioning his motives as a leader of a country on its knees.
