Script - HecklerSpray

No Bill Murray, No Ghostbusters 3 (We Just Have To Wait For Him To Pick Up The Phone)

September 21st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Bill Murray is not like other Hollywood actors. For starters, he’s really cool despite doing some lousy films. Apparently, he doesn’t even have an agent or manager and only looks at scripts after he’s checked the mailbox of a personal phone number… which he hardly ever checks.

This could well be the reason why Ghostbusters 3 has been long rumoured, but unable to get moving.

And, rightly, movie execs are going to scrap the film if Bill Murray refuses to sign up. Basically, there’s no replacing Bill Murray.

Spider-Man 4 To Be Written By A Thundering Intellectual

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Fact: Spider-Man 3 was stupid – so stupid that if you put a hot iron in its hand and made a telephone noise it’d burn its own ear off.

But don’t think that Sam Raimi hasn’t learnt his lesson. He’s decided to make Spider-Man 4 intimidatingly cerebral in its complex exploration of themes like Oedipal desire, quantum immortality and the ethical ambiguity of human interpretations of good and evil.

Well, that’s what we assume, anyway. It’s been announced that the script for Spider-Man 4 will be penned by Pulitzer Prize winning playwright David Lindsay-Abaire. Great! We loved his play Rabbit Hole – especially the scene where, after wrestling with grief following the accidental death of her four-year-old son, the lead character dances the Twist with Kirsten Dunst, cooks some eggs and then pulls a funny face.

Blade Runner 2: Written By Someone Who Probably Needs A Slap

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

We’ve never met Travis Wright, but we imagine that he hates you – otherwise he wouldn’t be deliberately provoking you like this.

You see, Travis Wright is one of the writers of Eagle Eye – the movie that’s top of the American box office despite looking like it was crapped out by a puppy with a gammy tummy – and for his next trick he says he’s working on a script for Blade Runner 2.

Obviously Travis Wright writing a Blade Runner 2 script is a terrible idea. Not because of the important cultural significance of the original or anything, though. No, we’re dead against the idea of Blade Runner 2 for one reason and one reason only – it’ll probably end up having bloody Shia LaBeouf in it, won’t it.

Brad Pitt Not In State Of Play Any More

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

When you look as much of a slow-thinking himbo as Brad Pitt, it's much harder to convince people to let you star in intelligent, thought-provoking, Oscar-winning dramas, because people always see you as the pretty boy from Meet Joe Black.

So when Brad Pitt announced that he was going to star in a movie adaptation of State Of Play, the blisteringly well-received BBC thriller that made a star out of Bill Nighy and won a slate of awards, it looked like Brad Pitt had finally got it right – he was making a film that was serious enough for him not to be taken merely as eye candy but not so serious that its constant sermonising turned audiences away. Not that it matters now because Brad Pitt has walked away from State Of Play right before filming was supposed to start and the studio wants to sue him. But Brad Pitt will get the last laugh because he'll still get to show off his acting chops in the movie he's making instead – Mr Pretty's World Of Doe-Eyed Gazing.