Scotland - HecklerSpray

Take The Hecklerspray UK Citizenship Test

October 12th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Everybody on twitter (yaa boo, sucks to you) is muttering about the UK Citizenship Test. This is the test that is flung in the face of immigrants with a look of “Go on. How much do you love tedious facts about the UK?”

There’s questions about the number of constituencies we have and the like. Of course, no right minded UK citizen would know that. Only a complete bell-end would.

And so, with people who have lived in the UK roundly failing the test (us included), we’ve decided to make a citizenship test that actually works, filled with questions about things that are unique to this stupid collection of horrible countries and provinces. See how well you fare over the jump, scum.

Scottish Independence Equals Scotland At Eurovision

August 7th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Blue?s fairly average effort at the Eurovision Song Contest over the weekend, in which they discussed the merits of a mysterious figure named ?Ican?, brought to light an interesting political phenomenon north of the border (in Scotland, yeah?).

On realizing that even Jedward were better than the UK entry, several sources on the Twitter could be heard muttering darkly that this was as good a reason as any to vote ?yes? to Independence in Big Eck?s referendum.

A lot of people in Scotland will tell you they voted SNP t?other week on the grounds that they did a pretty decent job of the last four months in government; because their traditional faith in the Lib Dems has been bummed to within an inch of its life; or because they were inherently disgusted by the prospect of Labour leader Iain Gray?s toupee-like hair representing the nation at international events, behaving like a ferret on ketamine. But that's all lies. What the Scottish people really want is to be able to put forward their own entry to the Eurovision.

Awesome or Off-Putting: The Haunted Radio in the Haunted Museum

June 20th, 2010 By Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Ghosts have been known to haunt a lot of things. Old houses, hotels and battlefields are among the most popular. They’ve been known to bedevil grave yards, dilapidated restaurants – and in just one recorded instance – the swollen balls of a silverback gorilla. Now that’s an episode of ghost hunters we’d actually watch.

Now we’re hearing a strange story out of Scotland about an old, old unplugged radio that’s picking up long dead radio transmissions.

Brad Pitt with a beard! But why? We have all the important answers

March 24th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Everyone has been talking about Brad Pitt’s beard. You may have looked at it and known exactly why he has one. You thought that a keratinized, hardened tissue shaft grew from a follicle in his skin. After an initial anagen phase, which is the period when most human hair produced and thereby, containing an abundance of melanin, Pitt’s chin hair reached the catagen phase, which sees a plateau in growth, before paving the way for the resting period, or telogen phase, which sees the hair falling out, making way for new growth. If you thought that, you’re wrong on many levels.

That’s because our Brad has grown a beard out of ‘boredom’. Yep, the Twelve Monkeys star appeared at the premiere of the film Kick-Ass, which Pretty Pitty helped produce. If you want some more celebrity names, he attended the after-party with the film’s star Aaron Johnson, director Matthew Vaughn and Gary Barlow, Dizzee Rascal and Tom Ford. What a circle jerk that is, eh readers?

So yeah, boredom? That’s the only reason?

Awesome Or Off-Putting: The Big Grey Man of Ben MacDhui

May 10th, 2010 By Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

The Big Grey Man of Ben MacDhui, or Am Fear Liath Mòr as he seems to be known in his native Scotland, is a ten-foot-tall creature that ‘haunts’ a very high peek in the Cairngorms. He’s been described as both a physical creature and a ghost of sorts, and many a mountain climber has a story including him.

Whether the Fear Liath is a physical creature or not, those that have encountered him have said they were absolutely overcome with fear – sometimes enough so to cause them to stumble through five miles of mountainous fog just to escape his presence.

Myspace Trawl – Dananananaykroyd

August 5th, 2012 By Matthew Laidlow

One day, our constant stereotype abuse will probably land us with either a smack in the chops or a lawsuit.

If anything, we’d prefer the latter, not because it’ll make us look big, hard and more attractive to socialites but due to the fact we have bugger all to our name. If a Hollywood superstar wants our collection of cigarette packets or dated takeaway menus, then let bring it on!

This week’s band – Dananananaykroyd hail from bonny Scotland. So naturally, we assumed that they’d be red headed, wear nothing but tartan and have a diet that consisted of only deep-fried Mars Bars and gallons of Irn Bru. Oh, and we thought that bagpipes had to feature somewhere. Apart from the bagpipes, we aren’t sure if our assumptions on the band are true, but maybe in a probing interview one day we can find that out. For now, we’ll concentrate on their music.