Articles tagged with: Scientology
Paul Haggis Throws His Dummy Out Of Scientology’s Pram
Paul Haggis isn't just the bald film director responsible for writing the worst James Bond film ever, you know. He's also a Scientologist. Or at least he was a Scientologist. Paul Haggis has just decided to leave Scientology, and he's decided to do it by basically writing a letter to Scientology spokesman Tommy Davis saying that Scientology is stupid and it doesn't like gay people and it's awful and that all Scientologists have stinky bums, or something. So there goes any hope of Paul Haggis working with John Travolta or that terrible woman from King Of Queens in the future. He'll probably survive.
Paul Haggis isn't just the bald film director responsible for writing the worst James Bond film ever, you know. He's also a Scientologist. Or at least he was a Scientologist. Paul Haggis has just decided to leave Scientology, and he's decided to do it by basically writing a letter to Scientology spokesman Tommy Davis saying that Scientology is stupid and it doesn't like gay people and it's awful and that all Scientologists have stinky bums, or something. So there goes any hope of Paul Haggis working with John Travolta or that terrible woman from King Of Queens in the future. He'll probably survive.
Is Peaches Geldof Set to Become a Glassy-Eyed Scientologist?
Peaches and Cream Geldof is looking a likely suspect to be the latest in an unfathomably long line of celebrities who are becoming Scientologists. The 20-year-old, um, well whatever it is she does, has been spotted hanging out, in the Hollywood Scientology Celebrity centre. The delicious Peaches took two seconds from licking her own arm to look deep within her wallet and ponder the mysteries of the universe. (Though watching a 2000-and-late episode of South Park could achieve much the same thing.)
Peaches and Cream Geldof is looking a likely suspect to be the latest in an unfathomably long line of celebrities who are becoming Scientologists. The 20-year-old, um, well whatever it is she does, has been spotted hanging out, in the Hollywood Scientology Celebrity centre. The delicious Peaches took two seconds from licking her own arm to look deep within her wallet and ponder the mysteries of the universe. (Though watching a 2000-and-late episode of South Park could achieve much the same thing.)
Bart Simpson Now Pimping Out Scientology
For those of you who worry that it's not as funny as it used to be, relax - The Simpsons has just got hilarious. Bart Simpson has started actively promoting Scientology! Genius! If that's not up there with Cape Feare and "If it isn't my old friend Mr McGregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg" then we'll be buggered. Bart Simpson? Urging people by phone to attend Scientology events? LOL!! Hang on, that isn't Bart Simpson? That's Nancy Cartwright using Bart Simpson's voice as a geniune, real-life Scientology promotional tool? Why, that's considerably less funny.
For those of you who worry that it's not as funny as it used to be, relax - The Simpsons has just got hilarious. Bart Simpson has started actively promoting Scientology! Genius! If that's not up there with Cape Feare and "If it isn't my old friend Mr McGregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg" then we'll be buggered. Bart Simpson? Urging people by phone to attend Scientology events? LOL!! Hang on, that isn't Bart Simpson? That's Nancy Cartwright using Bart Simpson's voice as a geniune, real-life Scientology promotional tool? Why, that's considerably less funny.
Katie Holmes Finally Gets All Those Protests She Was Promised
Anticipation was high for Katie Holmes' Broadway debut last night - it means that Maggie Gyllenhaal will soon take her role and everyone'll like the play better. However, Katie Holmes must have also been fairly excited ahead of her debut in All My Sons - not only would it teach her critics once and for all that she was an actress to contend with, but it'd also give her plenty of chances to blink out 'HELP ME HELP ME HE KEEPS ME LOCKED IN A CAGE HELP ME' in Morse code to a room of understanding strangers every night. But, of course, Katie Holmes' Broadway debut was also exciting for the members of anti-Scientology group Anonymous, who decided to bring down Scientology once and for all by getting about 20 people to stand outside the theatre holding some signs in a sort of semi-apologetic way. Yeah, take that, Scientology.
Anticipation was high for Katie Holmes' Broadway debut last night - it means that Maggie Gyllenhaal will soon take her role and everyone'll like the play better. However, Katie Holmes must have also been fairly excited ahead of her debut in All My Sons - not only would it teach her critics once and for all that she was an actress to contend with, but it'd also give her plenty of chances to blink out 'HELP ME HELP ME HE KEEPS ME LOCKED IN A CAGE HELP ME' in Morse code to a room of understanding strangers every night. But, of course, Katie Holmes' Broadway debut was also exciting for the members of anti-Scientology group Anonymous, who decided to bring down Scientology once and for all by getting about 20 people to stand outside the theatre holding some signs in a sort of semi-apologetic way. Yeah, take that, Scientology.
Katie Holmes Runs Away From Tom Cruise, Maybe…While Screaming…Possibly
Run, Katie Holmes! Run as if Dawson's massive forehead were behind you! You're so close to freedom! For the first time in what seems like an ice age, Katie has escaped the clutches of everybody's favourite evil Nazi, Tom Cruise. Scampering away to New York City with daughter Suri in tow, Holmes was free to roam as she saw fit, without the watchful eye of the Cruiser looking over her shoulder. The official story behind her visit to NYC is that Katie Holmes is about to star in the Broadway production of Arthur Miller's All My Sons - but we know better. It's an escape ploy from Katie - she's clearly running back to the Creek: the one place she can feel truly safe from Maverick and his Scientology cronies.
Run, Katie Holmes! Run as if Dawson's massive forehead were behind you! You're so close to freedom! For the first time in what seems like an ice age, Katie has escaped the clutches of everybody's favourite evil Nazi, Tom Cruise. Scampering away to New York City with daughter Suri in tow, Holmes was free to roam as she saw fit, without the watchful eye of the Cruiser looking over her shoulder. The official story behind her visit to NYC is that Katie Holmes is about to star in the Broadway production of Arthur Miller's All My Sons - but we know better. It's an escape ploy from Katie - she's clearly running back to the Creek: the one place she can feel truly safe from Maverick and his Scientology cronies.
Tom Cruise in $250 Million “is he a Scientology-Mafia Right Hand Man?” Case
Well, file this one under 'how the hell did we miss that, even though it broke about a day ago?!' See, you traipse the internet, you look through all of your sources, talk to people and even read things and yet - we still miss things sometimes. Big things. Things that were basically stories handcrafted for the hallowed pages of hecklerspray. Things that involve both Tom Cruise and Scientology. Things that involve Tom Cruise, Scientology and the fact that both the person and the religion are being sued by an ex-follower. How the hell did we miss this?
Well, file this one under 'how the hell did we miss that, even though it broke about a day ago?!' See, you traipse the internet, you look through all of your sources, talk to people and even read things and yet - we still miss things sometimes. Big things. Things that were basically stories handcrafted for the hallowed pages of hecklerspray. Things that involve both Tom Cruise and Scientology. Things that involve Tom Cruise, Scientology and the fact that both the person and the religion are being sued by an ex-follower. How the hell did we miss this?
Nicole Kidman’s Hatred Of Scientology Inspired Stupid Baby Name, Source
Now that Nicole Kidman has finally achieved her life's goal and given birth to a baby, we can all concentrate on why she gave it such a crappy name. And actually it seems like there's quite a simple answer - Nicole Kidman decided to name her new daughter Sunday Rose because she really, really hates Scientology. Apparently. You see, Nicole Kidman is a Catholic and Sundays are important to Catholics, but not important to Scientologists, and she used to be a Scientologist, so she called the baby Sunday as a sort of painfully oblique jab at Scientology. See? Insulted, Tom Cruise has vowed to even the score by naming his next child after something that's important to Scientology, meaning that in a few years we can all say hello to little Unnecessarily Litigious Cruise or Unsettling Public Image Cruise.
Now that Nicole Kidman has finally achieved her life's goal and given birth to a baby, we can all concentrate on why she gave it such a crappy name. And actually it seems like there's quite a simple answer - Nicole Kidman decided to name her new daughter Sunday Rose because she really, really hates Scientology. Apparently. You see, Nicole Kidman is a Catholic and Sundays are important to Catholics, but not important to Scientologists, and she used to be a Scientologist, so she called the baby Sunday as a sort of painfully oblique jab at Scientology. See? Insulted, Tom Cruise has vowed to even the score by naming his next child after something that's important to Scientology, meaning that in a few years we can all say hello to little Unnecessarily Litigious Cruise or Unsettling Public Image Cruise.
Will Smith’s School Not Scientologist, Despite Everyone Saying So
Will Smith has reached the pinnacle of his career - acting exclusively in films where he gets to save the world - and now he wants more.
Which is why he's decided to open a brand new private school to give the youth of today the best shot at a high quality education. Will Smith's New Village Academy is set to open in September. And it definitely isn't a Scientologist school, OK?
True, some of the teachers at Will Smith's new school might just happen to be Scientologists, but that hasn't got anything to do with anything. And, yes, the school's curriculum will be based on Scientologist instructional models developed by L Ron Hubbard himself, but that doesn't make it a Scientologist school either. However, the giant, golden rotating statue of Xenu in the playground could well make it look like a Scientologist school. Just joking!
