Articles tagged with: Scarlett Johansson
WEBTHUMP! Friday 29 May 2009
10 - A list of prequel ideas that are supposed to be rubbish but we would happily watch - Cracked 9 - And the award for worst woman in the entire world goes to... Mosnews 8 - Several reasons why you shouldn't name a year in your futuristic movie - io9 7 - Two Spice Girls looking ridiculously happy to be inside a car - Popsugar
Blame Gwyneth Paltrow For Scarlett Johansson’s Weight Loss
Scarlett Johansson wants you to know that she don't need no steenkin' bosoms, or no steenkin' bottom. The actress, once famed for her Marilyn Monroe-like curves, has recently slimmed down and is a shadow of her former self. Rather than take the well-trodden path of just wearing spectacles or living in her gym clothes, when she wants to make herself comparatively ugly and be taken seriously as an actress, Scarlett has stripped herself bare. Gone is the long, blond mane of cascading curls. Gone is the hourglass silhouette. And worst of all, the famed ScarJo chichis are now barely a C cup!
Scarlett Johansson wants you to know that she don't need no steenkin' bosoms, or no steenkin' bottom. The actress, once famed for her Marilyn Monroe-like curves, has recently slimmed down and is a shadow of her former self. Rather than take the well-trodden path of just wearing spectacles or living in her gym clothes, when she wants to make herself comparatively ugly and be taken seriously as an actress, Scarlett has stripped herself bare. Gone is the long, blond mane of cascading curls. Gone is the hourglass silhouette. And worst of all, the famed ScarJo chichis are now barely a C cup!
Scarlett Johansson Thinks Her Unborn Babies Can All Eff Off
Now that Scarlett Johansson is happily married to Van Wilder, you'd expect that babies were next on the agenda. That's unless you don't care. Which you probably shouldn't do, in fairness. After all, it's not like you know Scarlett Johansson or Van Wilder, and you'd have to be a complete weirdo to like either of them enough to care about their potential children. Is that what you are? A weirdo? Is it? Want to know about Scarlett Johansson's unborn babies, do you? You make us sick. Sick. As it happens, Scarlett Johansson doesn't want any babies yet. Are you happy now? Jesus.
Now that Scarlett Johansson is happily married to Van Wilder, you'd expect that babies were next on the agenda. That's unless you don't care. Which you probably shouldn't do, in fairness. After all, it's not like you know Scarlett Johansson or Van Wilder, and you'd have to be a complete weirdo to like either of them enough to care about their potential children. Is that what you are? A weirdo? Is it? Want to know about Scarlett Johansson's unborn babies, do you? You make us sick. Sick. As it happens, Scarlett Johansson doesn't want any babies yet. Are you happy now? Jesus.
Why Not Buy Globs Of Scarlett Johansson’s Rancid Snot?
Like many people, we've often dreamt of laying down, naked as a baby, and smearing ourselves with Scarlett Johansson's nasal mucus. And, hey, now we can. For reasons that frankly we're too petrified to go into, Scarlett Johansson has decided to auction off one of her snot-filled tissues on eBay. The most frightening news? It's currently standing at $2,205. While that makes for an expensive trophy - or dinner condiment - $2,205 is actually enough money for scientists to harvest Scarlett Johansson's DNA and build their own snot-covered, manky-looking Jurassic Park-style Scarlett Johansson clone. Or they could just buy Cheryl Baker from Buck's Fizz instead. Whichever's cheapest.
Like many people, we've often dreamt of laying down, naked as a baby, and smearing ourselves with Scarlett Johansson's nasal mucus. And, hey, now we can. For reasons that frankly we're too petrified to go into, Scarlett Johansson has decided to auction off one of her snot-filled tissues on eBay. The most frightening news? It's currently standing at $2,205. While that makes for an expensive trophy - or dinner condiment - $2,205 is actually enough money for scientists to harvest Scarlett Johansson's DNA and build their own snot-covered, manky-looking Jurassic Park-style Scarlett Johansson clone. Or they could just buy Cheryl Baker from Buck's Fizz instead. Whichever's cheapest.
Scarlett Johansson Didn’t Kiss Katy Perry, Or Especially Like It
It doesn't matter if you're a man or a creepy old director who has it off with his adopted stepkids - Scarlett Johansson is hot. Scarlett Johansson is so hot that her hotness isn't just felt by men any more - even women want to kiss her. OK, one woman. One very slightly mannish-looking woman. Alright, Katy Perry wants to kiss Scarlett Johansson. Happy now? In fact, Katy Perry wants to kiss Scarlett Johansson so much that she apparently wrote her solitary hit I Kissed A Girl about the time that she didn't kiss - or meet - Scarlett Johansson. When informed of this recently, Scarlett Johansson responded with muted gratitude - which is considerably more enthusiastic than her reaction to the song we wrote about her, entitled I'm Standing Over You In Your Sleep Holding A Knife And Masturbating (And Crying).
It doesn't matter if you're a man or a creepy old director who has it off with his adopted stepkids - Scarlett Johansson is hot. Scarlett Johansson is so hot that her hotness isn't just felt by men any more - even women want to kiss her. OK, one woman. One very slightly mannish-looking woman. Alright, Katy Perry wants to kiss Scarlett Johansson. Happy now? In fact, Katy Perry wants to kiss Scarlett Johansson so much that she apparently wrote her solitary hit I Kissed A Girl about the time that she didn't kiss - or meet - Scarlett Johansson. When informed of this recently, Scarlett Johansson responded with muted gratitude - which is considerably more enthusiastic than her reaction to the song we wrote about her, entitled I'm Standing Over You In Your Sleep Holding A Knife And Masturbating (And Crying).
Scarlett Johansson Marries Ryan Reynolds, Nobody Knows Why
Scarlett Johansson - one of the most beautiful actresses in the world who could literally take her pick of any man alive - has just got married. But who has Scarlett Johansson got married to? A king? James Bond? A philanthropic playboy billionaire? Pre-goose Fabio? No. Scarlett Johansson has got married to Ryan Reynolds - the man who you'll probably recognise as the bloke you wanted to punch square in the face for the entire duration of that Definitely, Maybe film your girlfriend made you go and see. Apparently Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynold's wedding was a small, quiet affair attended by only a handful of people. That's not to say that more people weren't invited - they just never got round to replying because they've all been scratching their heads and going "Ryan Reynolds? Why?" ever since the invitations arrived.
Scarlett Johansson - one of the most beautiful actresses in the world who could literally take her pick of any man alive - has just got married. But who has Scarlett Johansson got married to? A king? James Bond? A philanthropic playboy billionaire? Pre-goose Fabio? No. Scarlett Johansson has got married to Ryan Reynolds - the man who you'll probably recognise as the bloke you wanted to punch square in the face for the entire duration of that Definitely, Maybe film your girlfriend made you go and see. Apparently Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynold's wedding was a small, quiet affair attended by only a handful of people. That's not to say that more people weren't invited - they just never got round to replying because they've all been scratching their heads and going "Ryan Reynolds? Why?" ever since the invitations arrived.
Scarlett Johansson’s Lesbian Kiss With Penelope Cruz Update: it’s ‘Not Sexy’ (it is, They’re Lying)
When Scarlett Johansson tells you something isn't sexy, we wouldn't hold it against you if you believed her. She's a style icon, a Hollywood megastar and a thoroughly beautiful girl. But when the 'not sexy' thing she's talking about is getting off with another one of the most visually pleasing women in the movie business - Penelope Cruz - then, well, we wouldn't hold it against you if you went and told Scarlett she was talking a great big pile of crud. The kiss they shared wasn't a subtle ploy to distract everyone in the world from the fact that all the Hollywood types seem to be getting struck down with one illness or another. No, it's just a part of that new Woody Allen film, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, which is clearly going to be a great big bag of balls. Aside from the scene in question, of course.
When Scarlett Johansson tells you something isn't sexy, we wouldn't hold it against you if you believed her. She's a style icon, a Hollywood megastar and a thoroughly beautiful girl. But when the 'not sexy' thing she's talking about is getting off with another one of the most visually pleasing women in the movie business - Penelope Cruz - then, well, we wouldn't hold it against you if you went and told Scarlett she was talking a great big pile of crud. The kiss they shared wasn't a subtle ploy to distract everyone in the world from the fact that all the Hollywood types seem to be getting struck down with one illness or another. No, it's just a part of that new Woody Allen film, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, which is clearly going to be a great big bag of balls. Aside from the scene in question, of course.
Scarlett Johansson’s Lesbian Kiss With Penelope Cruz Latest: Cannes Loves It
A homosexual moment between Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz in Woody Allen’s latest movie is the talk of the 61st Cannes Film Festival. Three cheers for Woody Allen and his much maligned interest in younger women! The news should finally shut up all the player-haters out there - you know who you are! The ones of you who thought it ‘weird’ for a man to show a sexual interest in his own adopted daughter. Well you can now jump off your high horses because, like World War 2 before, the ends always justify the means and the sight of Scarlett and Penelope lezzin' off is no doubt a joyful scene.
A homosexual moment between Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz in Woody Allen’s latest movie is the talk of the 61st Cannes Film Festival. Three cheers for Woody Allen and his much maligned interest in younger women! The news should finally shut up all the player-haters out there - you know who you are! The ones of you who thought it ‘weird’ for a man to show a sexual interest in his own adopted daughter. Well you can now jump off your high horses because, like World War 2 before, the ends always justify the means and the sight of Scarlett and Penelope lezzin' off is no doubt a joyful scene.
