Articles tagged with: saved
Lindsay Lohan Saved From Fur Coat Lawsuit By Kindly Alcohol Industry
Lindsay Lohan only learns by being punished. Would Lindsay Lohan have gone to rehab if she hadn't got arrested all the time? No. Sadly, this is something that needs to be explained to the owner of a New York bar and nightclub. Although Lindsay Lohan is being sued by a student who claims Lindsay stole her $11,000 fur coat from someone else's bar, John JE Englebert has decided to not only pay the lawsuit settlement on Lindsay Lohan's behalf, but to also buy her a fur coat identical to the one she allegedly stole. There's a cavaet to this deal, though - if Lindsay Lohan accepts his offer, she has to give up this silly 'recovery' business of hers. Without Lindsay Lohan's prodigious alcoholism to buoy his businesses up, he's had to start farming his children's internal organs to Russian street gangs just to pay for the sawdust that his family has been reduced to eating these days.
Lindsay Lohan only learns by being punished. Would Lindsay Lohan have gone to rehab if she hadn't got arrested all the time? No. Sadly, this is something that needs to be explained to the owner of a New York bar and nightclub. Although Lindsay Lohan is being sued by a student who claims Lindsay stole her $11,000 fur coat from someone else's bar, John JE Englebert has decided to not only pay the lawsuit settlement on Lindsay Lohan's behalf, but to also buy her a fur coat identical to the one she allegedly stole. There's a cavaet to this deal, though - if Lindsay Lohan accepts his offer, she has to give up this silly 'recovery' business of hers. Without Lindsay Lohan's prodigious alcoholism to buoy his businesses up, he's had to start farming his children's internal organs to Russian street gangs just to pay for the sawdust that his family has been reduced to eating these days.
Michael Jackson Saves His Nightmarish Dilapidated Ranch
Think of Michael Jackson and the first thing that springs to mind is the Neverland ranch. Alright, that's a lie - the Neverland ranch is probably near the bottom of the list, coming some way after his ghoulish facial surgery, the seemingly bizarre treatment of his children, his child molestation court case, the porn, the Jesus juice and that monkey he used to own - but it doesn't matter. Michael Jackson has finally fought off foreclosure on Neverland, so it's his forever. Alright, that's also a lie - by 'his' we mean it's technically the property of the investment company who bought the loan that Michael Jackson took out to save Neverland, and by 'forever' we mean for about a fortnight until Michael Jackson gets behind on his repayments again - but that doesn't really matter either. Probably.
Think of Michael Jackson and the first thing that springs to mind is the Neverland ranch. Alright, that's a lie - the Neverland ranch is probably near the bottom of the list, coming some way after his ghoulish facial surgery, the seemingly bizarre treatment of his children, his child molestation court case, the porn, the Jesus juice and that monkey he used to own - but it doesn't matter. Michael Jackson has finally fought off foreclosure on Neverland, so it's his forever. Alright, that's also a lie - by 'his' we mean it's technically the property of the investment company who bought the loan that Michael Jackson took out to save Neverland, and by 'forever' we mean for about a fortnight until Michael Jackson gets behind on his repayments again - but that doesn't really matter either. Probably.
