Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz Totally Getting Married On Saturday Everyone loves a nice wedding, don't they? Or failing that, a mediocre wedding. Or failing that, a wedding between Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz. And it's a good job that everyone loves that, because it's been reported that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are going to get married this very Saturday. We know! It clashes with Norwegian Constitution Day! We're so torn! But what about the details of this Ashlee Simpson/ Pete Wentz marriage extravaganza? Has it been officially confirmed? No. Where will it be held? We don't know. Does this mean that Pete Wentz definitely knocked Ashlee Simpson up? Probably. What if he hasn't? Then they're both idiots. How long will this marriage last, anyway? Probably like a week, maybe.

The Next Big TV Thing? Choirs, Apparently

If you thought that spending your Saturday evenings staying in watching retired rugby players and semi-forgotten former soapstars stomp around a stage in sequinny leotards was as low as you could get, think again.

Because we'll say one thing in Strictly Come Dancing's defence - it isn't about choirs. It doesn't take a genius to see that a primetime BBC One reality talent show based around choirs would probably be the worst televisual idea since Minipops or Vernon Kay or something, but tell that to BBC One. That's because BBC One has just commissioned Choir Wars, a sort of X Factor but for choirs. We know, we know, the last thing we want to watch is a competitive Songs Of Praise too, but at least it'll keep Graham Norton off the streets for a few months next year.