Articles tagged with: Sarah Palin
Look Out Sarah Palin, Matt Damon Is Slightly Nonplussed By You
As intelligent, rational human beings, there's only one person who we turn to for enlightenment in times of great struggle - Matt Damon. Matt Damon has all the characteristics of a great spiritual leader - he's thoughtful, looks OK in tight T-shirts and his head is the exact dimension of a family-sized box of cornflakes. We need Matt Damon now more than ever, so we're immensely grateful that he's decided to tell us all what to think about Sarah Palin. According to Matt Damon, Sarah Palin is 'terrifying', 'scary', 'absurd' and a 'disaster' should she ever become president. Some might question Matt Damon's qualifications to publicly broadcast his ideological views to the world like this, but don't forget that he did star in a funny movie about a hilarious pair of co-joined twins once, and that's roughly the equivalent of having a PhD in political science. Video after the jump.
As intelligent, rational human beings, there's only one person who we turn to for enlightenment in times of great struggle - Matt Damon. Matt Damon has all the characteristics of a great spiritual leader - he's thoughtful, looks OK in tight T-shirts and his head is the exact dimension of a family-sized box of cornflakes. We need Matt Damon now more than ever, so we're immensely grateful that he's decided to tell us all what to think about Sarah Palin. According to Matt Damon, Sarah Palin is 'terrifying', 'scary', 'absurd' and a 'disaster' should she ever become president. Some might question Matt Damon's qualifications to publicly broadcast his ideological views to the world like this, but don't forget that he did star in a funny movie about a hilarious pair of co-joined twins once, and that's roughly the equivalent of having a PhD in political science. Video after the jump.
Jamie Lynn Spears Sent Sarah Palin’s Kid Nothing, Actually
Heartbreaking news - Sarah Palin's illegitimate grandkid will grow up bereft of overpriced burp cloths with 'Yummy' embroidered on them. You know those reports yesterday saying that Jamie Lynn Spears had sent Bristol Palin a bunch of baby gifts as a kindly reminder that she isn't the only teenage girl to bring shame on her family by letting a redneck hump her without a condom until she got pregnant? Yeah, didn't happen. Jamie Lynn Spears' mother Lynne has denied the whole story. If that's the case, poor old Bristol Palin. It's one thing to illuminate the schism between Sarah Palin's personal and professional ideals while watching her unborn baby get hijacked as a political football by all sides, but getting the stinkeye from Zoey 101? That has to sting.
Heartbreaking news - Sarah Palin's illegitimate grandkid will grow up bereft of overpriced burp cloths with 'Yummy' embroidered on them. You know those reports yesterday saying that Jamie Lynn Spears had sent Bristol Palin a bunch of baby gifts as a kindly reminder that she isn't the only teenage girl to bring shame on her family by letting a redneck hump her without a condom until she got pregnant? Yeah, didn't happen. Jamie Lynn Spears' mother Lynne has denied the whole story. If that's the case, poor old Bristol Palin. It's one thing to illuminate the schism between Sarah Palin's personal and professional ideals while watching her unborn baby get hijacked as a political football by all sides, but getting the stinkeye from Zoey 101? That has to sting.
Don’t Worry Sarah Palin, Jamie Lynn Spears Feels Your Pain
Now that she's officially the world's most prematurely randy underage teenager, Bristol Palin must feel like she hasn't got a friend in the world. But it's OK, because there's one girl thousands of miles away who knows exactly what Bristol Palin's going through, and that's former pregnant teenager Jamie Lynn Spears. According to reports, Jamie Lynn Spears was so moved by the story of how Sarah Palin's daughter had loads of underage unprotected sex with a redneck hockey player until she ended up getting accidentally pregnant that she's sent her a gift. And, who knows, Jamie Lynn Spears might even end up making the trip to Alaska to teach Bristol Palin all about the joys of becoming a young mother. Or at least she would if only her little brat would stop screaming and crying and begging for attention and stealing the best years of her life away from her all the time. But otherwise, yeah.
Now that she's officially the world's most prematurely randy underage teenager, Bristol Palin must feel like she hasn't got a friend in the world. But it's OK, because there's one girl thousands of miles away who knows exactly what Bristol Palin's going through, and that's former pregnant teenager Jamie Lynn Spears. According to reports, Jamie Lynn Spears was so moved by the story of how Sarah Palin's daughter had loads of underage unprotected sex with a redneck hockey player until she ended up getting accidentally pregnant that she's sent her a gift. And, who knows, Jamie Lynn Spears might even end up making the trip to Alaska to teach Bristol Palin all about the joys of becoming a young mother. Or at least she would if only her little brat would stop screaming and crying and begging for attention and stealing the best years of her life away from her all the time. But otherwise, yeah.
Everyone Loves Sarah Palin’s Redneck Illegitimate Grandkid-Maker
If you ever wanted to be famous, why not take a leaf out of Levi Johnson's book and knock up the teenage daughter of a high-ranking politician? It seems to work - a few days ago, nobody knew who Levi Johnson was. And now, just because he happened to get vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin's underage daughter pregnant out of wedlock, you literally can't get away from him. Seriously, he's been in newspapers, magazines, on TV - and this morning we swear we saw Levi Johnson on a billboard advertising Sunny Delight, accompanied by the slogan 'So good it'll make you want to grow a mullet and have unprotected sex with a teenage girl, too!' And, perversely, Levi Johnson seems to have only made Sarah Palin more popular. Barack Obama must be kicking himself - why can't he find a nice young redneck to get one of his daughters pregnant too?
If you ever wanted to be famous, why not take a leaf out of Levi Johnson's book and knock up the teenage daughter of a high-ranking politician? It seems to work - a few days ago, nobody knew who Levi Johnson was. And now, just because he happened to get vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin's underage daughter pregnant out of wedlock, you literally can't get away from him. Seriously, he's been in newspapers, magazines, on TV - and this morning we swear we saw Levi Johnson on a billboard advertising Sunny Delight, accompanied by the slogan 'So good it'll make you want to grow a mullet and have unprotected sex with a teenage girl, too!' And, perversely, Levi Johnson seems to have only made Sarah Palin more popular. Barack Obama must be kicking himself - why can't he find a nice young redneck to get one of his daughters pregnant too?
Diddy Offers His Thundering Political Insight Into Sarah Palin
Diddy's not so much of a rapper these days, more a godawful barely-watched lowest common denominator MTV reality show in waiting. But until the day when he inevitably ends up fronting that show - working title Diddy: It's Both Oblivious And Obnoxious - we all have to put up with him spouting off endlessly about whatever subjects happen to be ambiently passing through his brain all the time like some sort of dreary old pensionable pub bore, but gangsta. This time, Diddy has turned his sights on newly-named Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. Diddy's not a fan of Sarah Palin, you see - it's all because Sarah Palin is the Governor of Alaska and "there aren't even any crackheads in Alaska." We're not joking. We wish we were. Oh, there's video after the jump, too.
Diddy's not so much of a rapper these days, more a godawful barely-watched lowest common denominator MTV reality show in waiting. But until the day when he inevitably ends up fronting that show - working title Diddy: It's Both Oblivious And Obnoxious - we all have to put up with him spouting off endlessly about whatever subjects happen to be ambiently passing through his brain all the time like some sort of dreary old pensionable pub bore, but gangsta. This time, Diddy has turned his sights on newly-named Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. Diddy's not a fan of Sarah Palin, you see - it's all because Sarah Palin is the Governor of Alaska and "there aren't even any crackheads in Alaska." We're not joking. We wish we were. Oh, there's video after the jump, too.
