Sarah Palin - HecklerSpray

Sarah Palin Once Again Proves She’s the Spawn of Satan

January 5th, 2015 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Usually, when PETA is fighting with a celebrity it’s over something like wearing a fuck ton of fur or Justin Bieber leaving his monkey in Germany or some shit like that. However, when it comes to Satan’s third on the list booty call, Sarah Palin (we all know Kris Jenner and Ann Coulter get calls before her), she had to go and?do something?original to piss PETA off.

Earlier this month, Palin posted a picture on her Facebook of her 6-year-old son, Trig (because that’s a?fucking name), standing on their family dog to reach the sink. Like legitimately using the dog as a stepping stool. Needless to say people were pissed. And even more needless to say, Sarah Palin handled the situation exactly how you’d imagine Sarah Palin would.

Jane Fonda Proves That Left Wingers Are Just As Mental As Those On The Right

July 18th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

People on the far left of the political swingometer of shit, have this insane belief that they are on the side of The Truth. Those on the far right are aware that they have unpopular views, but are still just as mental.

Both are unified by a need to lash out at an imagined enemy, kicking the shadows and swearing at the air. Republicans think that foreigners are not to be trusted, and Democrats think that this is just racist talk.

On the left, we find Barbarella. Or, if you prefer, Jane Fonda. She’s had her appearance on QVC pulled (things are tough, right?) where she was to promote her new book on ageing, and she’s wagging her finger at ‘extremist groups’. Familiar language, eh?

We Look At The Reasons Why Glenn Beck Got Attacked By The People Of New York In A Park

June 30th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Sometimes, one can only hope that Glenn Beck is the Republican version of Jon Stewart and that it was all one big joke we didn’t latch onto in good time… but there’s that gnawing feeling that he really does believe the beserk stuff he says.

And it is his views that have seen him and his family being targeted by “hateful” crowds at a screening of The 39 Steps in New York City on Monday night.

While there, Beck & Co were caught in a “hostile situation”, and if you look at his history, it isn’t difficult to see why that will happen from time-to-time. You troll people, there’s a strong chance they’ll harangue you in return. So let us glare at him at his most weird.

Levi Johnston To Troll Sarah Palin For The Rest Of His Life After He’s Written Tell-All Book

April 26th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Levi Johnston is the master of the art of trolling. It appears his sole aim in life is to annoy supreme pencil neck, Sarah Palin, ’til she reaches the point of explosion. Of course, when she finally KABOOMS, the sky will be thick with impotent rage and garbled words spelled out like the sky has been attacked by a dyslexic skywriter.

Better yet, is that Palin can’t really do much about it because Levi is the father to her grandson. He’s always going to be part of the Palin family.

So imagine the next time they awkwardly meet up, when Levi announces that he’s writing a tell-all book about Palin and her mental, trigger happy family!

Oh Jesus Christ No! Glenn Beck To Get His Own TV Channel!

March 24th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Glenn Beck – the GG Allin of television* – isn’t likely to see his contract renewed by Fox. Imagine that for a second. Someone in the world who is deemed too nutso even for Rupert Murdoch. Staggering stuff.

So what can Glenn Beck do now? Have a cry about it? Roll around on the floor, masturbating into an American flag?

He might! And he might film it too! That’s because Glenn Beck is to take his brand of bug-eyed, frenzied gibberish onto his own network! If you can’t beat ’em, eat ’em! And we can only imagine the horrors that will unfold on GBTV.

Julianne Moore To Play Sarah Palin In Movie Probably Called The Most Powerful Village Idiot In The World

March 10th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Sarah Palin is a fascinating creature. She’s managed to succeed in life by having little more than a will to rise to the top. Seriously. Very, very little more. She’s not smart, she isn’t a good diplomat but she is determined.

And soon, there’s a very good chance she’ll have the codes to blow the entire world up. Amazing. Think about it. A village idiot running the Western World, tottering up to diplomats from the Far East and saying things like “why do you guys squint all the time? Haven’t you got sunglasses over here?!”

It was only a matter of time before someone decided to make a film about Palin. She’s perfect for parody. And taking the role is Julianne Moore.

Earth Contemplates Sudden, Swift Suicide As Bristol Palin Announces Interest In Politics

February 9th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Looking at Sarah Palin, it is hard to imagine a more terrifying political human. Her staggering simplery along with gasping vapidity is far too close to the nuclear codes for our liking. You’d be forgiven for thinking that things could only get worse if Glen Beck announced his intention to run for office.

Until that crushingly inevitable day occurs, we can look forward to another horror.

That’s right citizens of this failing planet! Bristol Palin fully intends to follow in her mother’s waddling political footsteps. This is the signal we’ve all been waiting for. The end is nigh. Kill yourselves now.

Bristol Palin In Contention For Most Pointless Memoir Ever To Be Written

February 8th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Over the past ten years or so, the world has been flooded with countless pointless memoirs and autobiographies. You’ll be able to read Justin Bieber’s soon, which will no doubt say “I was born three seconds ago and I sang some songs and can’t work out how to undo Selena Gomez’s bra, The End.’

And now, we’re due another utterly pointless document in the shape of a memoir from Bristol Palin. She’s hardly known for being a raconteur is she?

This isn’t plain ol’ hearsay either. Bristol’s memoir is already showing up on Amazon.com. We are, presumably, supposed to be thrilled at the prospect of reading about someone with a simpleton mother, teenage pregnancy and how hard it is wobbling around like a giraffe on a see-saw on ‘Dancing With the Stars’.

Bristol Palin Starts Dating Alaskan Pipeline Worker Who She Probably Met While Sarah Was Guarding It With A Rifle

January 25th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

The Palin family are just great aren’t they? In Sarah Palin, we have a woman who doesn’t know a single thing about the world outside of Alaska (she probably thinks Mary Poppins is a gritty documentary about England) and in Bristol, we’ve got a gal who has the cold, dead stare of someone who has witnessed the unspeakable.

Of course, she used to date the most hilarious man in America – Levi Johnston – a man made entirely of satire. He got her pregnant, then promptly went about slagging off anyone with the surname Palin. That probably includes Michael Palin.

Anyway, after being rubbish at dancing on television, Bristol has been looking for love or something. And apparently, she’s found it in the most likely of places – The Alaskan pipeline!

Sarah Palin’s TV Show Gets Axed Because It Was Gigantically Dismal

January 10th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

If Sarah Palin wasn’t a politician, she’d be hilarious. Think about it. She’s a gun-toting, slackjawed moose-for-brains who garbles her words and thinks that it is totally okay to use gun-targets in association with her political rivals.

Had she been the invention of a satirist, you’d laugh like a drain at each dunderheaded move she made.

Sadly, she’s horribly real and has gone about invigorating the kind of American that makes the rest of the world wince with discomfort. And no-one has ever seen her blink, even when she said that outrageous ‘death panel’ comment.