by Stuart Heritage
Without a shadow of a doubt, the two most important things to happen to the planet this year are the American general election and the Sex And The City film.
So imagine – just imagine – what would happen if the general election and the Sex And The City movie hit each other head-on. Imagine the explosion of joy. Scientists would probably bookmark that date as the day when all of Earth’s problems were solved forever.
So, people, brace yourself for that exact thing, because it’s happened – Sarah Jessica Parker has claimed that her five-year-old son quite likes Barack Obama. And Lego. But mainly Barack Obama. He’s harder to ram up your nose than Lego.
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by Stuart Heritage
Without a shadow of a doubt, the new Sex And The City movie is easily the most highly-anticipated film amongst people who enjoy watching four crag-faced women sitting round a table talking about orgasms like they bloody invented them.
But it turns out that the Sex And The City movie will see another sex-obsessed harlot joining Horsey McGee and her horny middle-aged friends for their life of sipping overpriced cocktails in swanky bars full of insufferable tits and cracking onto men young enough to be their great-grandchildren – it’s Michael Bloomberg, mayor of New York! It’s been announced that Michael Bloomberg has scored a role in the Sex And The City movie and, although nobody knows what he’ll be starring as yet, early odds are that he’ll be one of Kim Cattrall’s dildos.
That joke could be counted as political satire if we had the first clue about anything to do with Michael Bloomberg, you know.
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