If someone said ‘Kim Cattrall’ to you, chances are, you wouldn’t know who the shit they were talking about. If they held up a photograph of them, once you’d stopped questioning why they were so keen to get your opinion on something, you’d say “that’s her from Sex And The City and absolutely nothing else!”

Or you might say – “Mannequin. Wasn’t she in that? No idea. Will you please leave me alone now, because I’ve got things to be getting on with.”

Basically, this no-mark actor will forever be thought of as Samantha Jones from SATC and no-one thinks any different, right? Wrong. See, Kim Cattrall is under the impression that the good people of Blighty don’t just view her as being her Sex And The City character. When we do.

In fact, we’re just like you, inasmuch that when we see Cattrall, we instantly assume she’s exactly the same as her SATC character. She’s so typecast in our heads that we think that, away from the whirring cameras, she’s a man-eating, spunk-guzzling floozy who just can’t get enough dick in her.

Sorry about that. Could be worse. You could’ve been typecast as a child murderer.

Either way, Cattrall is under the illusion that we wonky toothed Brits think of her as anything but…

“In England they aren’t interested in casting me as Samantha. Across the pond they see me as an actress who plays many roles, so I am interested in continuing to work in television and I have a project with the BBC which I am producing”

So, what freeing roles has she been getting, which are drastically different from her previous famous gigs of Sex And The City, Porky’s and Police Academy?

She recently made a movie comeback starring as an ageing porn star in Meet Monica Velour.

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Sex And The City is a show that should have been taken to a public square and flogged to within an inch of its life, leaving only a greasy stain and a pair of expensive shoes. Effectively, the show managed to make womankind look like the most vapid, arrogant, backward idiots ever to walk this awful revolving speck of dust we call our planet.

One of the most jarring characters in the show was dead-eyed, corpse-minge of Samantha as played by Kim Cattrall.

And because us plebs consistently forget that these people are actors, portraying a fictional creation, we’re happy to assume that Kim is exactly the same as her most famous role or, at the very least, people get the two confused… which is why she’s right to be frightened of the dating game.

Kim Cattrall apparently finds the whole dating thing “scary”, making her feel like she’s 14 again (she hails from Liverpool – they start young there). She’s dating because she has split with her long-time partner Alan Wyse, leaving her to look back on her numerous failed marriages, trying to work out if she’s an idiot or, indeed, all men are ghouls.

She says:

“It’s pretty good. I’m dating, getting out there. It’s scary but also it’s exciting. It’s both of those things. It’s a tight rope, you know? It’s feeling like you’re 14 again, which you kind of like when you’re 54.”

Of course, we can only assume that the men she’s currently attracting all continually mistake her for her SATC character, meaning that they’re more than happy to try and throw one up her bum without asking before giving a cheeky shrug, ejaculating in her hair and then wandering off into the night without a care in the world.

No wonder she’s finding it all a bit frightening.

Still, it is the least she deserves for being partly responsible for the dreadful, dreadful SATC movies, of which it doesn’t look like there will be another:

“I have to say, I really don’t think so, maybe a prequel. But I don’t know. I think that everybody who could make this happen in the sense of the script and directing has gone on to other things, and I really wish them all the best.”

Good riddance.

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Ferris Bueller, the 80s wild child played by Matthew Broderick, only had one problem in his annoyingly perfect life, the relentless Dean of Students at his High School, Ed Rooney.

Well, Ferris’s days of running from Mr. Rooney can finally be put behind him after 14 long years as actor Jeffrey Jones was sentenced to 250 hours community service and 3 years probation for failing to update his details on the sex offenders register.

For those of you who don’t know, Mr. Rooney turned out to be a bit of a nonce, which added a really creepy subtext to the scenes in which Rooney tries hunting down Ferris Bueller in a bid to prove that he’s ditching school. Obviously Jeffrey Jones just wanted to spend a hot and sweaty summer locked in a room with a young Matthew Broderick.

Jones, who’s creepy smile and ginger moustache just scream paedo, pleaded guilty to failing to update his registry information, which he was required to do after pleading no contest to a whole host of creepy, child porn related charges in 2003.

We here at Hecklerspray don’t know exactly what his community service will entail, but we do like to speculate. After playing Mr. Rooney, Jones has all the relevant experience to actually become a real life truancy officer, plus with his love of teenage boys he’d be even keener to track them down. It would be like Dog the Bounty Hunter, only 10 times more disturbing, which takes some doing.

One thing is certain, this latest indiscretion will put a spanner in the works of the Ferris Bueller sequel. Ferris and Cameron are probably too old for Rooney now anyway. Plus Sloane would probably be played by Sarah Jessica Parker and no one wants to see that.

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Sex And The City 2 is out next year. Yes, you’re right to be excited. Or dismayed. But mainly excited.

And guess what? There’s a new Sex And The City 2 trailer out! If you’re the sort of person who thinks that drinking pikey cocktails and screeching the word ‘fabulous’ a lot makes up for the fact that you’re a dumpy friendless recruitment consultant from Eastbourne who can’t remember ever experiencing a recognisable human emotion, this is bound to be the best news EVER!

We’ve got the Sex And The City 2 trailer right here for you after the jump. Better yet, we’ve decoded the Sex And The City 2 trailer for you, moment by moment. It’s nothing less than you deserve.

We don’t know about you, but we’re so excited about next year’s Sex And The City 2. The first film just left so many questions unanswered, didn’t it, like ‘Where’s all the sex?’ and ‘Why is this called Sex And The City? There isn’t any sex in it. Really, when you think about it, it should be called Horsey Old Ladies In Shit Clothes And The City, shouldn’t it?’ and, of course, ‘Can they really get away with replicating this crap word for word and calling it a sequel?’

Well, the first Sex And The City 2 trailer has been unveiled and it would seem like the answer to that last question is a great big yes. But we wouldn’t want it any other way, right girls? We know what we want from Sex And The City 2, and that’s shoes and cocktails and shoes and fabulousness and dresses and handbags and shoes and fabulousness and shoes and dresses and shoes and shoes and cocktails and shoes. And funny-looking old ladies. And shoes! Right girls? SHOES!

But we’re getting off-topic here. Let’s take a look at the Sex And The City 2 trailer…

But wait! That was such a dazzling cavalcade of fabulousness that you probably don’t even know what happened. Let’s slow things down and give the Sex And The City 2 trailer the decoding it jolly well needs…

SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER SCENE ONE:

Look girls, it’s Sex And The City 2! All our old friends are here – there’s the woman from that new Hugh Grant film…

SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER SCENE TWO:

… and the lesbian…

SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER SCENE THREE:

…and the one with the sex tape!

SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER SCENE FOUR:

And, look! Mickey Rourke from The Wrestler has decided to turn up as well, done up like some sort of slaggy geisha! Fabulous dress, Mickey!

SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER SCENE FIVE:

Here we can see Sarah Jessica Parker confronted by her wardrobe. “What shall I wear today?” she thinks, “The outfit that makes me look like a transsexual prostitute, the outfit that makes me look like a malnourished child from a broken home or the outfit that makes me look like some sort of fucking ridiculous ungodly flamingo/dalmatian hybrid?” SPOILER ALERT: She wears all three three. At once.

SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER SCENE SIX:

Some camels. We don’t know what sort of animals they’re all riding, though! Ha ha ha.

You may start thanking us now, Sex And The City fans.

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Sex and The City 2 will star a horse, a prude, a heartbreaker, a redhead, and a viking. It will also require unparalleled suspension of disbelief.That was our convoluted way of telling you that a truce has finally been called between the horses and the vikings and the two will be frolicking together on a screen near you, May 2010.

What do you mean we should put down the sauce and start being coherent? Oh, okay. Sarah Jessica Parker and the half-starved dungeon full of Mariah Carey‘s cast-off PhotoShoppers will be working overtime on the new movie, part of which features the cast as a bunch of twenty-somethings.

They all had the pleasure of working alongside Miley Cyrus who is the height of a viking, apparently. Sarah made a remark after meeting her 17-year-old guest co-star, saying that Miley was considerably taller than she had anticipated.

This is baring in mind that sometimes Animal Whisperers don’t translate her neighs correctly, so we are left with weird quotes like, “I was astounded by [Miley's] height, did you know that she’s tall? She’s like a Viking. I had no idea!” For all we know she could have been asking for another sugar cube. We’ll just have to trust that this quote, taken from an MTV News interview, is correct.

Miley was photographed on the movie set as she donned matching hooker rags with Kim Cattrall - who was in character as Samantha Jones. There aren’t a lot of spoilers about her cameo in the movie. However from the impression she made on Sarah we can assume she will be playing a giant, poorly-dressed starlet who storms New York City in a Godzilla-like fury. Either that or something more sensible, like she will play Samantha’s tween wannabe sidekick. Whatever.

From US magazine:

After Cyrus, 17, filmed her cameo Oct. 17 in NYC’s Ziegfeld Theater, she gushed that it was “the best job I’ve ever done” and “a total dream come true.”  She added the Parker, 44, was “the nicest person in the world. Parker returned the compliment: “[Miley is] a beautiful young lady and very self-possesed,” the actress said. But their time together was quality, not quantity. “I literally was not in the scene with her. I was in the scene, but we were not [onscreen] together. But she was lovely and on time and prompt and professional, very sweet.”"

Two or three sugar cubes later, Sarah gave away a few more details. She shared that one of the first movie’s shining stars, Jennifer Hudson, will be notably absent. Jennifer is busy making babies and channeling Winnie Mandela for her new role in a biopic of the same name. There are only so many hours in the day. She long ago realised that playing Sarah’s bitch onscreen wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

As for other SATC2 scoops, Parker was generous with some details and vague with others: “I can confirm there is no Jennifer Hudson,” she offered. What about John Corbett, who played Mr. Big rival Aiden on the show but didn’t appear in the first film? She “can’t confirm or deny” his involvement in the sequel.

This was a guest blog by Amy Grindhouse, who is defiantly un-norsemanlike.

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Sometimes a piece of news comes along that makes us genuinely confused – people, get ready for that news.

You know Cynthia Nixon from Sex And The City? She’s got fans. Actual fans. Not people who say that they like her to be ironic, or because they think that liking Sarah Jessica Parker would be too obvious. She’s got fans. The sort of hysterical logic-defying fans who’d storm onto the set of Sex And The City 2 just so they can be close to her.

It’s weird. But at least they weren’t Kim Cattrall fans. That would have really freaked us out.

The first Sex And The City movie was a box office phenomenon, taking hundreds of millions of dollars and easily becoming the most successful movie about four funny-looking middle-aged transvestites in the history of cinema. And because of its success, the world is now full of lonely women who think that drinking cocktails and saying the word ‘fabulous’ a lot makes them look impossibly sophisticated, when in fact they still look exactly like the depressed, unloved recruitment consultants that they actually are, only slightly more desperate.

But we digress. These women all like to compare themselves to one of the major Sex And City characters. They might compare themselves to Sarah Jessica Parker, the eloquent and fashion-conscious leader of the gang. Or they might prefer to align themselves with Kristin Davies, the conventionally beautiful prude with an alarming sideline in possible sex tapes. Or maybe Kim Cattrall, the outrageous drunk one who’ll sleep with anyone because it stops her from confronting the realisation that she’s going to die miserable and alone.

Or, the other one. There is another one, right? The ginger lesbian who nobody really likes? Yeah, her.

Well here’s something startling – Sex And The City 2 started filming in New York this week and, if reports are to be believed, the biggest fan draw so far is the ginger lesbian who nobody really likes. In fact, the hysteria surrounding Cynthia Nixon was so enormous that one of her scenes had to be pulled. The San Francisco Chronicle reports:

Filming for the “Sex and the City” sequel had to be halted on Wednesday after hysterical fans tried to overpower security to get closer to Cynthia Nixon… A source tells New York Daily News, “People were screaming and trying to push past guards. The fans were just too much. Security looked legitimately concerned for her (Nixon’s) safety.”

We honestly can’t get our head around this. Fans going crazy for Robert Pattinson we can understand, because his fans are all teenage girls and screaming and crying and loss of bladder control are what teenage girls do whenever they’re not talking too much or cutting themselves. But Cynthia Nixon? 43-year-old ginger hard-to-like lesbian Cynthia Nixon, star of Sex And The City and hardly anything else? Look, we know a lot of famous people have died recently, but there’s no need to lower your standards that much, is there?

Anyway, as a result of this bewilderingly inexplicable Cynthia Nixon hysteria, security has been stepped up for the remainder of the Sex And The City 2 shoot. And, when the inevitable Sex And The City 3 happens, fans won’t be able to get anywhere near its stars. Admittedly that’s because everyone will be so old by then that the entire movie will be set in a convalescent hospital for sufferers of chronic osteoporosis, but that’s hardly the point.

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10 - Look! Sarah Jessica Parker and some babies! Exciting! – PopEater

9 - You know who we’ve been neglecting lately? Female rappers – Interestment

8 – This delicious-looking piece of computing equipment would last three seconds if it came anywhere near us. It looks disturbingly delicious – Geekologie

7 – Jonathan Ross and Graham Norton battle to the DEATH. Not really to the death. And not really a battle. But still, eh? – Watchwithmothers

6 - Witness Lady GaGa‘s gigantic hairy button. You heard – Amy Grindhouse

5 - It is summer. Therefore, you must make a summer pudding. Here’s how - Domesticsluttery

4 - The greatest video of people accidentally blowing themselves up that you will ever see – Holytaco

3 - Men who call the emergency services because McDonalds short-changed them deserve to be king of the world. Fact - I Am Bored

2 - This is something called a Meatini. It may very well haunt your nightmares for years to come – Rathergood

1 - Men we would give up one of our testicles to be: Isao Machii. This video is quite long, but completely worth it…

Sarah Jessica Parker, you sicken us. Paying a woman to be a surrogate mother is simply not God’s way.

If you wanted children so badly, Sarah Jessica Parker, then you should have done it the natural way – by arbitrarily choosing a smallish African nation and bullying it into giving you a child. Or, if you were having trouble conceiving a baby in that way, then you should have built a school teaching your crackpot religion until the country feels guilty and changes its mind. But doing it via a surrogate, as you’ve just done? Ugh.

But congratulations and everything, yeah?

It’s no secret that Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick have been going through a bumpy patch in their marriage recently. Between all the accusations of infidelity and terminal neediness, it was hard to see exactly how their relationship would be able to survive.

But it has. And what was their secret? Easy – hard work, devotion and a couple of children that they can take their frustrations out on instead of each other. Probably. But just because they wanted some children to potentially use as emotional leverage against one another in case their marriage looked it it was going to hit the skids again, it doesn’t mean that Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick were prepared to do that to their own flesh and blood.

So they bought a couple of babies from somebody else. That way if they start to get too messed up by the likelihood of Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick’s marriage disintegrating, they can be put up for resale on eBay or something. We think that’s legal. At least we hope it is, or else we’re going to be in a whole heap of crap.

Anyway, our point is that Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick have taken ownership of their two happy new twins, who were delivered by a surrogate. AP reports:

The girls were born Monday afternoon at an Ohio hospital, publicist Simon Halls said. Marion Loretta Elwell Broderick weighed 5 pounds and 11 ounces, and Tabitha Hodge Broderick weighed 6 pounds. Hodge and Elwell are family names on Parker’s side, Halls said. “The babies are doing beautifully and the entire family is over the moon,” Halls said in a statement.

Oh, you know what? Good for them. We’re sure the pain of discovering that they couldn’t conceive a child – coupled with the subsequent pain of realising that the surrogate mother’s home had been broken into so that photos of her could be sold on to a tabloid – quite easily compares to the agony of childbirth.

And besides, have you seen Sarah Jessica Parker? She’s tiny. If she did get pregnant, then the unborn babies would have been bulging so far out of her ridiculous pipecleaner of an abdomen that you’d have probably been able to see the bloody things blink through whatever nightmarish outfit she’d decided to wear at any given moment. And that’s a bit grim. We prefer it this way, thanks.

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You know at the end of that 1999 Godzilla remake how even though the monster was dead, it still left big, green eggs all the heck over the place?

Well Matthew Broderick‘s character was probably all “Oh eff! What the effing eff!” But it ended up he needn’t have worried because the film flopped, graciously preventing a tired-already franchise from getting off the ground.

The thing is – it appears he may have stopped worrying too soon about little lizard babies. Because his possibly-reptilian wife’s southern regions are about to be torn asunder with twins.

Now when we say Sarah Jessica Parker‘s southern parts are about to turn on their conveyor belts, we’re of course not really talking about her conveyor belts. No – the scenario we’re trying to depict for you is more of a womb-rental type situation. That’s because the Broderick-Parker twins are going to fester somewhere inside of a non-blood relative for the entire nine month gestation period. That’s what you can do when you have money – We hear the rich can order these human-incubators out of the back of high-end magazines.

Generally on the same page as the semi-expensive Sea Monkeys.

In Parker’s defence though , she’s not renting a womb to be fashionable, she’s doing it because all the internals north of her vagina are dusty, dry and probably look like a place Indiana Jones might search for Incan gold.

That’s actually not a bad idea. Somebody should flesh that out into a script, and don’t give too much away in the beginning.

Really though – Parker is 44 years old. That’s why she and her hubby have had to look elsewhere for lush and viable ovaries. Entertainment Weekly has a few more details:

“Sarah Jessica Parker, 44, and Matthew Broderick, 47, are expecting twin girls via a surrogate. In a statement, their reps announced, “Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are happily anticipating the birth of their twin daughters later this summer with the generous help of a surrogate. The entire family is overjoyed.”"

News of the surrogate comes none too soon for fans who worried a Carrie Bradshaw gorged with two human beings she hadn’t physically eaten might look ridiculous pretending she’s still a high class prostitute. Seriously – that is one thing successful Asian businessmen simply will not pay for. Because it’s disgusting. Still – it could probably be awkwardly worked into the Sex in the City sequel.

Maybe we should take a moment to say that although we’ve never actually seen the show that made Parker a star, we’ve heard it’s viewing has done wonders the world-over. For instance, the airing of its pilot episode in Zimbabwe was the instigator in that region for giving women the right to vote, drive and have eyes that are extraordinarily close together.

Commendable, if you think about it.

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The Sex And The City movie was fun, but we didn’t like the way that nobody looked frighteningly haggard in it.

But someone up there is listening. The Sex And The City stars have all signed on for Sex And The City 2, so soon we’ll get to see Kim Cattrall‘s clodge looking more tired and wizened than ever before!

In fact, with the cast getting older as movies become more immersive, we’re sure that Sex And The City 2 will be the first movie where the audience gets a free HRT patch and a scoop of KY jelly on their way in.

Ladies, here’s some advance warning. In about 18 months, every single product that you’re ever likely to buy – clothes, food, face creams, tampons – is going to come rebranded to contain a pink and black image of a city skyline.

And, what’s more, for some reason this image will not only make you buy more stuff, but it’ll also fill you with the urge to drink cocktails and talk loudly about your sex life in the mistaken belief that you’re classy and sophisticated, when in fact you’re a dumpy 48-year-old recruitment consultant from Guildford who lives with three cats and nobody else.

This, ladies, is because Sex And The City 2 is coming out in 2010. And there’s nothing you can do to fight its power.

Thanks to the extraordinary success of the first Sex And The City movie amongst women who wanted to go and see a movie about sex that didn’t actually have any sex it it, rumours of a Sex And The City sequel have been around for months. But now it’s official – according to reports, the main cast have signed contracts tying to Sex And The City 2, and it’ll be coming out next year. According to Reuters:

Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall and Kristin Davis have signed contracts for a “Sex and the City” movie sequel, movie studio New Line Cinema said on Thursday. New Line said writer-director Michael Patrick King has also signed a contract to write the script for the latest installment of a money-spinning franchise that includes a TV series and a book by Candace Bushnell.

We don’t know about you, but in all honesty we can’t wait for Sex And The City 2. Here’s hoping that the movie clears up the following questions for us:

* Will Sarah Jessica Parker‘s face ever complete its slow transformation into an amputee stump?

* How far will the Michael Patrick King manage to utterly ostracise the man who plays Mr Big this time?

* Is Kim Cattrall ever going to realise that her ‘sexy’ voice actually sounds like a drunken transvestite stroke victim doing an impression of a ghost?

* Really, what’s the point of the ginger one?

Honestly, we’re on the edge of our bloody seat here.

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Without a shadow of a doubt, the two most important things to happen to the planet this year are the American general election and the Sex And The City film.

So imagine – just imagine – what would happen if the general election and the Sex And The City movie hit each other head-on. Imagine the explosion of joy. Scientists would probably bookmark that date as the day when all of Earth's problems were solved forever.

So, people, brace yourself for that exact thing, because it's happened – Sarah Jessica Parker has claimed that her five-year-old son quite likes Barack Obama. And Lego. But mainly Barack Obama. He's harder to ram up your nose than Lego.

The Pennsylvania primaries are just over three weeks away, and they could be the decisive turning point in the battle to become the Democratic candidate for this year's presidential election. It could be the moment when Hillary Clinton defies the odds and takes the lead. She's certainly fought a good fight in the popular culture stakes by imitating Tony Soprano and forcing Jack Nicholson to make a creepy video about her and getting Elton John to sing and stuff. 

But now she may as well just go home. There's not a chance in hell that Hillary Clinton can become the Democratic candidate this year. Not when Barack Obama has secured the endorsement of a heavyweight so monumental that all competitions are going to be skewed dramatically in his favour from now on. That's right – Sarah Jessica Parker's five-year-old son supports Barack Obama.

No really, he does. James Wilkie Broderick has unilaterally sided with Barack Obama after studying his plans for social and economic reform, and also because Barack's face is nice and happy like a clown's face. Here's what Sarah Jessica Parker told People:

"He's very into Barack Obama. On his own! He's really, truly into this election. He's come to this conclusion on his own based specifically on Barack's gender. It's that deep. He's a fan and a true supporter of Barack Obama."

It's a good thing, too, because had James Wilkie Broderick decided to support John McCain, Sarah Jessica Parker is on record as saying she'd drown him in a canal. It's on record, but don't try and source the quote. Our word is good enough.

Now, the more cynical of you might look at Sarah Jessica Parker telling anyone that'll listen about her infant son's political endeavours and think that she's just shamelessly whoring out her child to try and drum up a bit of hype for this summer's Sex And The City movie. And that might be the case. But the important thing is that you can't let Sarah Jessica Parker know you're onto her.

Because, honestly, if plan B involves Sarah Jessica Parker releasing a set of Kristin Davis-style naked photos, then we're all done for. And, really, what's a few months of mildly nauseating baby-talk compared to permanently-damaged retinas?

Read more:

Sarah Jessica Parker's 5-Year-Old Son Supports Barack Obama – People 

Without a shadow of a doubt, the new Sex And The City movie is easily the most highly-anticipated film amongst people who enjoy watching four crag-faced women sitting round a table talking about orgasms like they bloody invented them.

But it turns out that the Sex And The City movie will see another sex-obsessed harlot joining Horsey McGee and her horny middle-aged friends for their life of sipping overpriced cocktails in swanky bars full of insufferable tits and cracking onto men young enough to be their great-grandchildren – it's Michael Bloomberg, mayor of New York! It's been announced that Michael Bloomberg has scored a role in the Sex And The City movie and, although nobody knows what he'll be starring as yet, early odds are that he'll be one of Kim Cattrall's dildos.

That joke could be counted as political satire if we had the first clue about anything to do with Michael Bloomberg, you know. 

We know it's a little unfair to judge a film that hasn't even finished being made yet, but we'd like to point out that there is literally no way on the face of the earth that we're going to go and watch the Sex And The City movie when it's released, for a few reasons.

Firstly, the adverts for Sarah Jessica Parker's new perfume make us want to bludgeon ourselves to death, and if 15 seconds of seeing her on a smallish TV set makes us feel like that then we hate to think what effect two hours of seeing her peculiarly equine face blown up onto a giant screen will have on us. Secondly, security on the Sex And The City set is so weak that you can't even open a newspaper any more without seeing every single one of its plot points revealed accompanied by a picture of Cynthia Nixon in a funny hat.

Thirdly, Sex And The City is a TV show, and we're not sure that the material is there to make it into a decent movie experience – although we're willing to reverse our decision on this one if it turns out that Sex And The City is actually going to be about Kim Cattrall saving the world from a collision with a giant asteroid by catching it in her fanny and blasting it back into space like some sort of disgusting Thai ping-pong girl. 

But you know what would make us go and see Sex And The City when it comes out in cinemas next year? All manner of pointless, severely-localised cameos that get shoehorned in to make up for the absence of an actual story, that's what! Jennifer Hudson from Dreamgirls is already down for a small Sex And The City role, but that's hardly enough.

Which is why we were thrilled to pieces to hear that New York mayor Michael Bloomberg has found himself a spot in the Sex And The City movie. Details on exactly what Michael Bloomberg will do in the movie are a little vague at the moment, but his spokesman Stu Loeser has confirmed that the mayor is due to film a scene for the movie in Manhattan's Bryant Park shortly.

While it'd be nice to think that Michael Bloomberg will be in Sex And The City as Sarah Jessica Parker's rival columnist who always starts his articles with lines like "You know, unilaterally setting aside billions of dollars for a city-retirees' health fund to stabilise unfunded future pension costs owed to city workers is a lot like doing it with a man," it's actually much more likely that he'll be on-screen for two seconds in which all he'll manage is one awkward smile.

But that's never stopped Richard Branson, has it?