If someone said ‘Kim Cattrall’ to you, chances are, you wouldn’t know who the shit they were talking about. If they held up a photograph of them, once you’d stopped questioning why they were so keen to get your opinion on something, you’d say “that’s her from Sex And The City and absolutely nothing else!”
Or you might say – “Mannequin. Wasn’t she in that? No idea. Will you please leave me alone now, because I’ve got things to be getting on with.”
Basically, this no-mark actor will forever be thought of as Samantha Jones from SATC and no-one thinks any different, right? Wrong. See, Kim Cattrall is under the impression that the good people of Blighty don’t just view her as being her Sex And The City character. When we do.
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Sex And The City is a show that should have been taken to a public square and flogged to within an inch of its life, leaving only a greasy stain and a pair of expensive shoes. Effectively, the show managed to make womankind look like the most vapid, arrogant, backward idiots ever to walk this awful revolving speck of dust we call our planet.
One of the most jarring characters in the show was dead-eyed, corpse-minge of Samantha as played by Kim Cattrall.
And because us plebs consistently forget that these people are actors, portraying a fictional creation, we’re happy to assume that Kim is exactly the same as her most famous role or, at the very least, people get the two confused… which is why she’s right to be frightened of the dating game.
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Ferris Bueller, the 80s wild child played by Matthew Broderick, only had one problem in his annoyingly perfect life, the relentless Dean of Students at his High School, Ed Rooney.
Well, Ferris’s days of running from Mr. Rooney can finally be put behind him after 14 long years as actor Jeffrey Jones was sentenced to 250 hours community service and 3 years probation for failing to update his details on the sex offenders register.
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Sex And The City 2 is out next year. Yes, you’re right to be excited. Or dismayed. But mainly excited.
And guess what? There’s a new Sex And The City 2 trailer out! If you’re the sort of person who thinks that drinking pikey cocktails and screeching the word ‘fabulous’ a lot makes up for the fact that you’re a dumpy friendless recruitment consultant from Eastbourne who can’t remember ever experiencing a recognisable human emotion, this is bound to be the best news EVER!
We’ve got the Sex And The City 2 trailer right here for you after the jump. Better yet, we’ve decoded the Sex And The City 2 trailer for you, moment by moment. It’s nothing less than you deserve.
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Sex and The City 2 will star a horse, a prude, a heartbreaker, a redhead, and a viking. It will also require unparalleled suspension of disbelief.That was our convoluted way of telling you that a truce has finally been called between the horses and the vikings and the two will be frolicking together on a screen near you, May 2010.
What do you mean we should put down the sauce and start being coherent? Oh, okay. Sarah Jessica Parker and the half-starved dungeon full of Mariah Carey‘s cast-off PhotoShoppers will be working overtime on the new movie, part of which features the cast as a bunch of twenty-somethings.
They all had the pleasure of working alongside Miley Cyrus who is the height of a viking, apparently. Sarah made a remark after meeting her 17-year-old guest co-star, saying that Miley was considerably taller than she had anticipated.
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Sometimes a piece of news comes along that makes us genuinely confused – people, get ready for that news.
You know Cynthia Nixon from Sex And The City? She’s got fans. Actual fans. Not people who say that they like her to be ironic, or because they think that liking Sarah Jessica Parker would be too obvious. She’s got fans. The sort of hysterical logic-defying fans who’d storm onto the set of Sex And The City 2 just so they can be close to her.
It’s weird. But at least they weren’t Kim Cattrall fans. That would have really freaked us out.
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10 - Look! Sarah Jessica Parker and some babies! Exciting! – PopEater
9 - You know who we’ve been neglecting lately? Female rappers – Interestment
8 – This delicious-looking piece of computing equipment would last three seconds if it came anywhere near us. It looks disturbingly delicious – Geekologie
7 – Jonathan Ross and Graham Norton battle to the DEATH. Not really to the death. And not really a battle. But still, eh? – Watchwithmothers
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Sarah Jessica Parker, you sicken us. Paying a woman to be a surrogate mother is simply not God’s way.
If you wanted children so badly, Sarah Jessica Parker, then you should have done it the natural way – by arbitrarily choosing a smallish African nation and bullying it into giving you a child. Or, if you were having trouble conceiving a baby in that way, then you should have built a school teaching your crackpot religion until the country feels guilty and changes its mind. But doing it via a surrogate, as you’ve just done? Ugh.
But congratulations and everything, yeah?
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