Our minds are racing so fast. Like, what are we going to do when Big Brother finishes? Spend more time with friends and family? Go outside? Stay inside and watch a TV show that we actually want to watch? Quick, someone get us a paper bag to pant into!

But with the Big Brother finale out of the way, do we have any idea who’s going to win? Here are the Big Brother betting odds for Rex and Sara, with help from Paddy Power…

Rex – We’re constantly surprised that Rex actually has fans, you know. He’s shown himself to be a terrible boyfriend, an untrustworthy acquaintance and – perhaps worst of all – a dirty ginger, and yet he’s still going to do pretty well come Friday’s Big Brother final. We’re buggered if we know why. Seriously – in his head Rex is an archly Machiavellian Bond villain who lives in a hollowed-out volcano surrounded by thousands of TV screens displaying images of his broken enemies, but in reality he’s just a bit of a ginger wanker. Can Rex win Big Brother? Tragically, he probably can. That’s not to say he will, but there’s enough bewildering support for him to make it feasible. We’d urge you not to vote for Rex to win Big Brother, but if you’re the kind of person who votes for people to win reality TV shows then you probably can’t read, so it’d be a bit fruitless really. Oh, why can’t there be a ‘Don’t Vote For Rex’ emoticon for us to use? Current Big Brother betting odds – 8/1

Sara – The fact that Sara is now third-favourite to win Big Brother, up from least-favourite a few weeks ago, is stone-cold proof that everyone loves a victim. Back when she was regular old Sara, constantly loudly talking about nothing in a voice that’s the exact audio representation of chewing a gobful of tinfoil, nobody seemed to like Sara at all. But now it’s all different. Ever since Rex and Darnell took to bullying Sara – for fun and an uncontrollable desire to punish all the females who’ve previously ignored him respectively – she’s rocketed up the Big Brother betting odds to the point where her name actually got the biggest cheer of the night during last Friday’s eviction. Can Sara win Big Brother? It’s a possibility. Will Sara be appearing in a variety of laddish publications with her top off within a fortnight regardless of the final regardless of her position? Definitely. So you may as well all save your money, really. Current Big Brother betting odds – 4/1

Tomorrow – Big Brother betting odds for Rachel and Mikey! But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.

Phew. We don’t know about you, but this whole ’stuff actually happening on Big Brother‘ malarkey freaked us out. For a second there we thought Big Brother was going to do stuff every single day instead of occasionally punctuate 80 days of morbid tedium with a sloppily thought-out gameshow containing approximately zero tension. Thanks Big Brother. Don’t go changing.

But anyway – it’s Lisa and Sara up for eviction this week, and we looked at Sara’s chances yesterday, so here are the Big Brother betting odds for Lisa’s eviction, with help from Paddy Power…

Lisa – What a week Lisa’s having. First Mario briefly reentered the Big Brother house to propose to her and now she’s won £25,000. What a double-combo of happiness that is, or would be if Mario didn’t have a face that looks like an uncooked hamburger and skin that’s scientifically a brand new colour midway between purple and orange. Anyway, Lisa shouldn’t worry too much about an eviction coming to wreck her week, because she’s bewilderingly got quite popular on Big Brother lately. Sara’s bound to get evicted ahead of Lisa, which is strange because when Lisa said “I’ve got a heart of gold” during her quiz on Wednesday, we wanted to crawl inside our TV and strangle her to death with our own windpipe. True story. Current Big Brother betting odds – 11/10

Next week – Betting odds for the Big Brother final. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.

In what has to be a nudge to the British public to remind everyone that it still existed, last night Big Brother made the remaining housemates nominate each other face to face on live TV. Then Sara and Lisa – the two housemates with the most votes – had some sort of convoluted quiz thing to go through before one of them won £50,000. Except they both ended up splitting the prize in two and doing a kind of piggyback thing around the room for a bit. They’re still up, though.

Are you still with us? Sara and Lisa are still up for Big Brother eviction tomorrow. That’s the important part. Well, maybe important isn’t the word…

So who’ll go tomorrow? Here are the Big Brother betting odds for Sara to win the show, with help from Paddy Power…

Sara – Not an incredible surprise that Sara’s up for Big Brother eviction this week, since she’s had such a bizarre time of it lately. First off, her cockteasy exploits with Darnell ended up shitting the bed in dramatic style when he had a gigantic shuddering meltdown and started calling her an ‘ugly bitch’ in that unsettlingly angry way of his. And then Rex made her cry, although that was more predictable – Rex makes everyone cry because he’s got a weird lumpy ginger skull. Anyway, since Sara’s up for Big Brother eviction against Lisa, we’d have to guess that she doesn’t stand much chance of surviving, partly due to Lisa’s psychological mother-figure position in the Big Brother house, and partly because listening to Sara speak is as painful as shitting giant shards of glass. Current Big Brother betting odds -33/1

Tomorrow – Lisa’s Big Brother eviction betting odds. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.

Anyway, what’s happened on Big Brother this weekend? Nicole got evicted which is good, because it means that the most annoying woman on the television has automatically reverted back to Jeremy Kyle; and Lisa got engaged to Mario, which is bad because it meant that Mario was back on TV and we promised ourselves that we’d cut our eyes out if that ever happened again. Thank heavens for braille keyboards, eh?

So who’ll win Big Brother? Here are the Big Brother betting odds for Mohamed, Sara, Rex and Kat, with help from Paddy Power…

Mohamed – The sheer fact alone that Mohamed is still in the Big Brother house is a stone cold testament to what a bundle of wankers the evicted Big Brother housemates were. There can’t be a person on the planet who likes Mohamed – he’s such a monumental bell-end that Rachel even managed to call him a jerk the other day. Since Rachel’s the kind of girl who’d refuse to call the sky blue in case it offended clouds, that’s really something. Surely Mohamed can’t last much longer on Big Brother – if he isn’t evicted soon his constant gluttony will cause him to swell up until his body actually absorbs the house itself. One way or another he goes. Current Big Brother betting odds – 80/1

Sara – OK, we’re officially stunned. Of the three housemates who entered Big Brother late – Belinda, Maysoon and Sara – we were convinced that Sara wouldn’t be the last one standing. Why? Because, although it’s blindingly apparent to everyone with at least one functioning sense that everyone in the Big Brother house is stupider than remedial cheese, they’re all in fact too dim to see what a massive cocktease she really is. Sara flits from boy to boy cooing about what big arms they have as nomination day approaches and none of them have twigged why yet. Maybe we’re wrong – maybe Sara really does fancy everyone – but that’s unlikely because she’s even tried it on with Darnell, and surely her self-esteem can’t be that fucked, can it? Current Big Brother betting odds – 33/1

Rex - Thank Christ Nicole has been evicted from Big Brother – watching her and Rex constantly bicker with each other was like watching an especially harrowing amateur dramatic performance of Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf starring nothing but utter utter wanktards. Still, now that Rex doesn’t have to worry about his girlfriend any more, he can get back to doing what he does best in the Big Brother house – being the world’s gingerest bastard. But maybe the fact that he has a girlfriend who’s obviously a massive twonk will work in Rex’s favour. It probably won’t, though, since Rex is such a titmonkey. Current Big Brother betting odds – 12/1

Kat – Look, it’s been a while since this particular writer has done any Big Brother stuff, but we’re sure that Kat was popular last time we looked. Apparently not, though – she’s now only fifth favourite to win. For the love of God, are you seriously telling us that a one-dimensional little fat woman with a funny accent who only talks about biscuits can get boring? We’ll be blown. Or perhaps we’re wrong. Perhaps Kat did something awful when we weren’t looking. But what could be awful enough to be considered less popular than Lisa? There’s only one thing – Kat must’ve raped a vicar. It’s literally the only option. Literally. Urgh. Current Big Brother betting odds – 8/1

Tomorrow – Big Brother betting odds for Lisa, Darnell, Rachel and Mikey. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.

Okay so technically she hasn’t been booted out yet, but if she doesn’t go then we won’t be happy and we’ll blame everyone in the country – nay – the world for letting us down. It has to make the most sense anyway – Nicole’s an arse, whereas Sara’s hot and Lisa’s comically insane – there’s no point in keeping the spoiled brat.

If you do want to risk some money, or make very little back from a huge bet, feel free to make your way to Paddy Power and check out their latest odds.

If Nicole doesn’t get kicked out of the Big Brother house tonight then there is no justice left in the world.

The scheming, conniving, selfish, fake blonde bitch should be drop-kicked out of there rather than be allowed to walk the steps of shame.

After joining the party on a BB whim, Nicole has bored the pants off of the public with her tears and tantrums, while letting designer boyfriend Rex walk all over her and make her look like the very wettest of blankets. Big brother betting odds – 1-100

She didn’t really want to be in there in the first place and has constantly ‘assured’ Rex – and the watching public, in actual fact – that she would do a bunk if her fella left. Unfortunately, as head of house, her fella survived this week’s nominations – so there is no double whammy to celebrate tonight.

Nicole is up against Aussie chick Sara and mummy of the house Lisa. There’s simply no competition.

Sara is a pain in the arse but at least she’s not evil. Her game has been a flirty one and while it hasn’t won her many friends inside or outside the house, it hasn’t left her tainted by the brush of hate. Big Brother betting odds 20-1

She is likely to survive the boot with Lisa, who has managed to keep out of the limelight since her comedy boyfriend Mario was chucked out by the public a month or so ago.

Apart from Lisa’s strangely obsessive hate for kindly Welsh lass Rachel, she has managed to keep her head down and glide through the nominations until now.

If she was up against anyone but Nicole she might be worried – but there is surely going to be little competition tonight. Big Brother betting odds 16-1

‘Big Brother, this is Davina, you are live in Channel 4, please do not swear. Nicole, get the fuck out!’

Mikey remains the favourite to win, with Darnell now a close second. He stood up for Kat yesterday when Rex and Mohamed wanted her to pull out of the Thriller dance routine task using her bad back as an excuse. Big Brother betting odds 11-8 (Mikey) and 11-4 (Darnell)

Darnell, Rachel and Mikey saw through Rex, while Mo backed up the tosspot. However, Mo looked like he regretted his ‘We’re going to fail the task’ outburst later, when he was in the bedroom with Kat, Rachel and Darnell.

And again later when they all passed the task. You’ll learn Mo. But it may be a bit too late by then. Big Brother betting odds 80-1

Next week: we’ll see how the tenth eviction affects things. Basically, as it’s Nicole most likely going then it’ll make things better. Rex will either walk with her or he’ll stay and become less of a twat – like he was before she was in there. Other than that, we’re gearing up for the final stretch of Big Brother 2008 – get to Paddy Power to bet on the winner!

Story By Richard Hughes

There’s no Kat fight and welsh teacher Rachel has survived Lisa’s scornful looks for another week – but for the other three, it’s claws out, let the bitch fest begin.

So who will be trying to avoid that up-skirt shot (or not, as the case may be with Sara and Nicole) as they climb the BB steps to instant, bright-burning but inevitably short-lived 15 minutes of fame?

One of Lisa, Sarah or Nicole will be ousted – and about time, too. If we could get them all out, we would. The public will decide, of course – and the least favourite housemate will be thrust into the limelight and onto Davina’s couch on Friday. Check with Paddy Power to see how your decision can help net you a bit of cash too.

Here are their potted BB histories.

Sara came in late and threw the cosy balance of the house out of kilter straight away. The Aussie chick was quick to hook her talons into Dale, with his squeeze Jen still there – but once he had been kicked out, following a brief flirtation with Darnell, her next big crush was Stuart.

It has been a ‘can I find me a man’ time in the house for Sara, who also has a thing for Rex. But I’m sure she’ll regret that once she gets out. Big Brother betting odds – 18-1

Next up is Lisa, the lapsed body-builder who entered the house almost 80 days ago with her hunky 40-something boyfriend Mario. The pair didn’t make a great start to their time in front of the cameras, become extremely unpopular with the viewers – and some housemates, almost immediately.

But since Mario was given his marching orders, Lisa has relaxed and, apart from her aborted break out and obsessive hate for Rachel, she has relaxed into her mother of the house role. Big Brother betting odds – 20-1

And finally, Nicole – can I really be bothered with her? No. Rex moaned about missing her for what seems like years and then she turns up and he treats her like shit. And she takes it.

Get out of the house on Friday Nicole and you’ll find out pretty quickly that he is hated beyond redemption and it’s time to find a nice bloke. Trouble is, what nice bloke is going to look twice… Big Brother betting odds – 1-100

On the winning front, things remain in Mikey’s favour, with Darnell, Rachel and Kat just ahead of Lisa. And that’s unlikely to change until the final day now. Big Brother betting odds – 11-8

Tomorrow: eviction day, the tenth housemate will leave the house through a public vote and we will finally – hopefully – get rid of Nicole. The annoying little twit. Check with Paddy Power for updated odds – maybe Nicole will manage to swing the running in her favour? (Here’s a clue: she won’t)

Story By Richard Hughes

They are all nomination virgins of course, so whichever leaves, it’s going to hurt. However, there may be some relief for Nicole if she gets evicted. At least she won’t have to put up with her arsehole boyfriend Rex anymore.

Tomorrow we’ll take a look at the favourites for the chop – but today let’s have another look those still in the running for the big cash prize, as laid down by Paddy Power. Kerching!

Mikey still heads the list, no surprise there. The blind Scot, who is currently leading the ‘I Hate Rex’ campaign, has been top of the betting charts since time in memorial. Big Brother betting odds – 2-1

Darnell has jumped into second place over the last week beating off the competition from Rachel and Kat. The quirky albino American has a good chance of upsetting the odds. Big Brother betting odds – 5-2

Rachel, the smooth operator, is keeping it cool again this week and might be worth an outside punt. Her and Kat are bound to make the final week are they avoided this week’s nominations. Big Brother betting odds – 10-3

Kat, the shrieking dumpling, seems to be losing ground. Once she was a shoe-in, but now she is just an irritating, squat noise-machine. Big Brother betting odds – 6-1

Lisa, the man-women (are those tits fake or not?) is next in line – and may well make the final day if she doesn’t get the boot this Friday. Big Brother betting odds – 7-1

Rex. Oh hateful Rex. He’s possibly the vilest creature this side of the Atlantic. He’s going get a shock when he leaves the house – he probably thinks he’s an extraordinarily popular housemate but the boos will ring out like never before. It’s such as shame that, as head of house this week, he couldn’t nominated. Big Brother betting odds – 16-1

Sara is this week’s surprise nomination. And she received more votes than the other two, too. The Aussie beauty has been playing the man-game though and both Dale and Stuart were kicked out while she attempted to dig her claws in. She can’t go back to Darnell, the ideal man Rex is attached – so there’s only Mikey and Mo left… Oh dear. Big Brother betting odds – 50-1

Mohamed finally cooked his goose when he ate one of Mikey’s bogeys for a can of cider this week. Nuff said. Yuk. Big Brother betting odds – 80-1

Nicole. Just shut up. Stop crying. Dump Rex. Go home. You hateful women. Big Brother betting odds – 250-1

Tomorrow: we’ll be gearing up for yet another eviction – one that could change the makeup of the entire house. Either that or Lisa will go, which is unlikely to change anything, really. In the meantime, don’t forget to check out Paddy Power for the latest Big Brother betting odds.

Story By Richard Hughes

Seriously though, how much more of their interminable bickering and childish arguments can the nation put up with? They are a microcosm of every bad facet of every bad relationship anyone has ever had in the history of man. The fact that Nicole believes Rex had a two day sex and alcohol fuelled sex-a-thon with a Vegas stripper doesn’t seem to be helping her relax too much either.

The housemates were asked to make Roman chewing gum mosaics of their newly crowned leader, Caesar Rex as part of the day’s task. The housemates who made the best one would receive a prize, which obviously led to numerous jibes about, ‘oh I wonder who will win?’ Nicole and Sara maybe? HMMMM? To which Caesar decreed, “Look, I’m not going to do a Rachel…” then, obviously, did a Rachel and chose his girlfriend and his favourite Aussie to enjoy the special prize, which was a plate of MEAT. CLASS.

So how has this all affected the other housemates standing in the eyes of the public and our wonderful friends at Paddy Power?

Mikey is still the top dog of the house. This man has a golden ticket to the finals it would appear. He shocked housemates by explaining that sex was not really his thing as it is boring, commenting “when you can’t see anything going on, it’s dull,” then elaborating to say that according to the bastion of truth, justice and FACT, The Sun newspaper, blind folk are the best lovers. So when he wins that £100K and buys some laser eyes, look out ladies, Mikey is on the loose. Big Brother Betting Odds – 2-1

Darnell has increased in popularity this week thanks to his funny T-Rex-like walk and the ever powerful sympathy vote; he’s a virgin you know. Awww, bless him. Still the paranoia increases about his relationship with the ladies, commenting to Big Bro that “if no one in the house fancies me, there isn’t much hope with women in the real world.” Still he is coming in as a strong number two to win this week; if he can keep up the fun then he’s in with a real shot at the title. Big Brother Betting Odds – 5-2.

Rachel continues to be the nicest housemate this week and is still bullied at every opportunity by all and sundry. We just can’t put a finger on why everyone in the house (other than Kat) dislikes her so much, I mean she is childish, dull and has a huge head but come on! Women traditionally don’t win Big Brother but she is a strong contender for third place. Big Brother Betting Odds – 7-2.

Kat just loves to rut, all day, every day. Prince Charming once mounted her for a record 15 times in one day according to her. Imagine that. Go on, have a good hard think about it, because since she said that, that is all I can think about, it is burnt into my brain FOREVER. Big Brother Betting Odds – 6-1.

Lisa believes that wasps can kill you, one sting and dead. Still, she has done a lot of research into it and therefore it is fact. Still, you can’t really take anything she says too seriously though after an ill advised fake tan session in which she ended up looking like a streaky turd. Big Brother Betting Odds – 7-1.

Rex surely can’t get any more annoying, can he? Yes, yes he can. The super fascistic head of house has been slowly grinding away at Nicole about the information she learned on the outside world, but she is being tight lipped about his alleged philandering. Even when the ginger lothario asks her if she’d like to do “some petting.” Big Brother Betting Odds – 16-1.

Sara is still missing Stu and is still avoiding Mo’s unwanted attempts at flirting. She has been relatively quiet apart from when she was praising Big Brother’s meat based prize for winning the task with Nicole. She does love meat. Big Brother Betting Odds – 50-1.

Mohamed has a little spring in his step due to the erroneous belief that Sara finds him attractive. After all, don’t women love greedy lethargic fatties? No, no they don’t and it is only a matter of time – and cider – before his hopes and dreams are crushed by her. Big Brother Betting Odds – 80-1.

Nicole is the kind of girl that you meet at university who is incapable of existing outside of the remit of Mummy and Daddy. She spends her days wearing faux hippie outfits, having ridiculous opinions about bringing back hanging and talking about horses. Thankfully due to her constant prattling she has made herself the most unpopular housemate, SCORE. Big Brother Betting Odds – 200-1.

What joys will tomorrow hold? Will Mo finally seduce Sara only to be shot down in flames? Will Nicole cry and will Rex finally snap and attack her? Tune in tomorrow kids – and in the meantime check out Paddy Power for the latest Big Brother betting odds.

Story By Ben Morrison

But she looks odds on to be wrong – and it will be beefcake Stuart who athletically tackles those steps to freedom tomorrow, finally leaving the house and getting what he wants so badly.

It’s not just the Olympics that could be worth a flutter though, and our pals at Paddy Power have all the betting odds you would ever need for Big Brother.

Olympic Stu has been itching to get out for weeks now – no doubt hoping to get his teeth into that modelling contract or TV offer bound to be on its way. Big Brother betting odds – 1-6

So Rachel will likely survive and justify her second favourite status – much to the shock of Rex, who thinks she’s a waste of space and that she will go. Big Brother betting odds – 7-2

Mikey has finally sussed bully Rex and told man-woman Lisa exactly what he thinks of the conceited peacock. It’s just a shame, Mikey, that you didn’t use your head-of-house megaphone to let everyone else know what a prick he is.

Okay, they should have been able to work it out for themselves by now – but sometimes you need a nudge from a blind guy to see the wood for the trees, don’t ya?

The bald Scot continues to annoy the rest of the housemates this week, while upping the ante in the betting stakes. He remains favourite to win the whole thing – and who would bet against that right now. Big Brother betting odds – 2-1

Rachel is still second, her strength coming from Rex’s bullying and the fact that people like Lisa think she’s playing a game when quite obviously, she’s just being nice. Big Brother betting odds – 3-1

Third favourite now, however, is Darnell, who has leapfrogged the bubbling Kat. The skinhead albino rapper, who is being pawed by Aussie flirt Sara, may be picking up the sympathy vote, while his entertainment value is higher than most, too. Fair play. Anyone else chuckle at his slouchy Neanderthal walk – or is it just me? Big Brother Betting odds – 7-2

Kat’s hissy-fits have seen her drop down the odds table – she’s still way ahead of Lisa, but that pair are almost certain to make the last day because they won’t get enough nominations in one week to be up for eviction until then. Big Brother betting odds – Kat (4-1), Lisa (8-1)

Rex must go before he becomes a dictator-like figure – surely the housemates will follow Mikey’s lead and see sense before the final week? The public have and he has been slipping down the odds for weeks now. But what if his evil scheme works? Then you could make a few quid out of the devil. Big Brother betting odds – 18-1

Stuart is still an outside bet, despite the likelihood of him walking this week – and his mate Sara, who seems intent on breaking poor Darnell’s heart and bagging herself a bit of Stu instead, isn’t out of the running either. Big Brother betting odds – Stu (20-1), Sara (25-1)

But, the rest of the field look to have cooked their goose. Mohamed and Nicole are dead housemates walking, and it’s only a matter of time before they are sent on that long walk up the stairs. At least Mo will get a decent feed then. Big Brother betting odds – Mo (40-1), Nicole (100-1).

Tomorrow: it’s eviction day – will it be the expected outcome of hunk-o-Stu giving Davina that all-important one-to-one interview, or will public opinion swing in favour of ousting Rachel because she… hmm… is a bit too nice? Either way, Paddy Power have all your betting needs.

Story By Richard Hughes

And thank you too Mikey for winding up Rex – someone had to but only the bald, blind, slightly mental Scot had the balls. Or the duck and the jug.

And, excuse me, why is everyone getting so het up about a little bit of water? For God’s sake Kat, lighten up you sad little odd-bod. You fell asleep, deal with it. Rex – you fell asleep too: DEAL WITH IT YOU IDIOT.

Rex got quite riled: “You’re starting to annoy people with your little duck and your jug,” he yelled. Well Rex, you’re starting to annoy me with your mouth and your clingy blonde.

But in the midst of all these watering downs and ill-feeling, at least we can rely on Paddy Power to keep us up to speed on the latest Big Brother betting odds.

There are some really fragile egos in that house and it comes to something when a small splash of water from a blind guy with a small yellow duck which has a tiny hole in it – which you could quite easily evade because, hey, rocket scientists: he’s blind – starts a group argument and then a Big Brother cold war.

But Stuart started to wake up a little yesterday – about time too. Up for for the chop this week, after he was disappointed not to leave last Friday when Dale was voted out, Stu began to stir things up, winding up half of the housemates while encouraging the others to get shirty.

Good on ya, that’s the Stu we want. But can he fight off the challenge of Rachel? Big Brother betting odds – 1-10

Rachel has continued to just be herself, sitting on some fences, every now and then having an opinion about something and generally confusing the housemates by being both genuine and nice. They may not trust her in the house but she’s still favourite to stay in this week’s eviction. Big Brother betting odds – 5-1

Yesterday we looked at the favourites to win, with Mikey, Rachel and Kat way out in front. There seems to be little chance according to Paddy Power that anyone else will walk away with the title this time around. But wait – don’t write off Sara just yet.

Her flirting is becoming more obvious and she is certainly playing off Darnell against Stu – and the Aussie chick is becoming more interesting. She is getting close to Darnell while wanting Stuart – her little looks told us all the story. The flirt to worry the faves? Big Brother betting odds – 25-1

Rex, BB’s big arse, is unlikely to garner enough to support to win it because, quite simply, he’s a wanker. But if you fancy a cheeky punt on the ginger whinger, then you could make a few quid if a miracle happens. Just don’t go anywhere near him with that holy duck water. Big Brother betting odds – 28-1

Then there are the ‘don’t waste your money’ duo – Nicole (yawn, bloody yawn), the blonde airhead waste-of-space, and Mo, who just doesn’t appeal to anyone, even himself I should imagine.

Nicole, as Mikey quite rightly pointed out yesterday, didn’t even audition for BB – so why should she even be in there? And Mo. Fat Mo, Lazy Mo, Tiresome Mo, Slow Mo… Go Mo. Big brother betting odds… Nicole an impossible 100-1 – Mo to go? No, then it’s 40-1 for you

Tomorrow: the eviction race… is it a race? Anyway – the eviction ‘thing’ hots up as we get towards D-Day for either Rachel or Stuart. Will the pretty boy manage to pull something out of the bag, or will the fact that the public actually like Rachel make it impossible for him to stay? Check with Paddy Power for regular updates on each housemates’ odds.

Story By Richard Hughes.

It was a bold move by Big Brother yesterday, who asked for the housemates to fill a jar with hair. And it was an even bolder Mikey who decided that he would go skinhead to get the task motoring.

Darnell joined him and now, here we are, with two rather strange-looking slapheads in the house, waiting for the nominations today.

We now have ten housemates left. So let’s take a look at who’s in the running for the title in 2008, with betting odds, as ever, provided by Paddy Power.

Mikey – Everyone’s favourite, Mikey is a strong bet for the title this year. The freshly-mown skinhead has been consistently number one in Paddy Power’s stakes and this is unlikely to change soon. The sympathy goes a long way it seems, for the blind Scot. Big Brother betting odds – 2-1

Rachel ­– Rex’s bullying may be cringe-worthy to watch, but it seems Rachel is benefiting from it in a strange way. While the chef keeps plugging away, the homely Welsh maid is climbing the odds table. Next thing you know she’ll be a winner, leaving Rex’s face a picture to behold. Big Brother betting odds – 3-1

Kat – Come on Kat, time to change your game plan. There must be a nasty piece of work in there somewhere. Let’s see it, you’re dropping down the charts and something needs to be done. From Ewok to Gremlin. That’d do it. Big Brother betting odds – 7-2

Darnell – Scalped like Mikey, Darnell only has eyes for Sara, and their flirting is profiting both of them. A love story is always good for the participants, as long as they want it to be. And Darnell, of course, gets the ‘I’ve never had a girlfriend’ sympathy vibe, too. Big Brother betting odds – 4-1

Stuart – Last week he was Mr Duller-than-Dull and he still survived. Thing is, the poor blighter wants to go. Even a love story wouldn’t liven this housemate up. Shame on him for even bothering to go to the auditions. Big Brother betting odds – 8-1

Lisa – Mummy of the house Lisa is playing a stealthy game at the moment. She shrunk into the shadows when her fella Mario was kicked out – and now just pops up making herself look good occasionally. An outside bet perhaps. Big Brother betting odds – 12-1

Sara – Aussie flirt Sara’s been playing with Darnell. But even that won’t better her chances. Destined for the boot, I’m afraid. Maybe even this week. Big Brother betting odds – 25-1

Rex – He’s a bully and a prick. Nuff said. Big Brother betting odds – 28-1

Mohamed – I notice he didn’t shave his locks off for the good of the house. Mo, Mo, Mo – you have no chance of winning. Why not just walk, eh? Big Brother betting odds – 50-1

Nicole – Dump Rex you blond bint. Yawn. Next… Big Brother betting odds – 100-1

Tomorrow: will the odds have swung in favour of any other housemate? Will Nicole make herself the public’s favourite by smacking Rex in his smug chops? Probably not, but we can dream. In the meantime, don’t forget to check Paddy Power for up-to-the-minute odds on the housemates.

Story By Richard Hughes.

While Mikey has turned into a human sprout machine – after first refusing to take part in the task, he then decided the best way to chomp his way through 100 sprouts by chewing them up and turning the into some kind of sprout soup. Disgusting!

So Mikey remains favourite to win this BB, which Kat and Darnell his biggest rivals. But what of the others? How do they fair in the Paddy Power stakes?

Dale: Dale is Mr Smugly Genuine – so will glide through to the final week, but then crash and burn for being far too irritatingly nice. Never trust a nice guy, especially if they have designer stubble they fashion with a pair of scissors. Big Brother betting odds – 11-1.

Stuart: Poor old Darnell. Stuart has stolen his bird and broken his precious heart. Pass me the bowl of sprouts and the biggest sick bag you can find please. Stuart and Sara are BB’s latest love match, and it’s Darnell who suffers this time, relegated to sleeping on the sofa to avoid having to put up with their smooching in the bedroom. Big Brother Betting odds – 11-1.

Sara: As if Sara was going to chose Darnell over slick Stu. The Aussie man-trap has made her decision and it’s the hunk she’s wants. Darnell was devastated and stormed out of the bedroom liked a spoiled little boy, leaving Stu to savour the moment by frolicking under the sheets with the wide mouthed slapper. Her maneuvers may have hit her in the title stakes – not that she was ever a real threat to the big guns Kat and Darnell anyway – and she may have just given Darnell a bit of a boost in sympathy market. Keep your money in your pockets. Big Brother betting odds – 22-1.

Rachel: Is Rachel playing a game or not? Her decision to give everyone else their letters, rather keep her own, showed she is willing to do things without looking for kudos from the housemates. However, the viewing public may have picked up on her weepy diary room antics and taken her for the cynical game-playing bitch she might be, but after being bullied by Rex she may have picked up some sympathy votes. Big Brother Betting odds – 5-1.

Mohamed: At 50-1 it seems Mohamed has cooked his goose. There seems to be little interest in BB’s human dustbin anymore. He is as unlikely a winner as Prince Charles is a pole dancer. He may make it to the last day before getting the boot though. Big Brother Betting odds – 50-1.

Tomorrow: It’s nominations time. But you can quench your betting thirst before that by heading over to Paddy Power and checking out the full list of Big Brother betting odds.

Story by Richard Hughes.

And that saying couldn’t be more apt when it comes to discussing Rebecca, the Big Brother housemate who was evicted on Friday night. She came, she saw, she kept getting her knockers out and she had a drunken tongue-wrestle with a twig. We won’t see Rebecca’s like again, unless of course we go to any pikey nightclub on a Saturday night. Honestly, they’re full of them.

But with Rebecca gone, who’s going to win Big Brother? Here are the Big Brother betting odds for Mohamed, Sara, Maysoon and Lisa, with help from Paddy Power…

Mohamed - Finally. It’s taken over 50 days but we’ve finally realised why most of the Big Brother housemates have found the energy to round on such a steaming nonentity as Mohamed. After several hours of high-level scientific exploration into the issue, we’ve realised that Mohamed just has one of those faces. It’s the way he moves his mouth when he talks, the hint of slimy creepiness in his eyes, the way he’s constantly on the prowl for a cigarette to steal. It’s icky and it creeps us out. Also, Mohamed won’t win Big Brother because he shoved his tongue into Rebecca’s gob last week; and finding her attractive is a crime punishable only by being catapulted into the side of a cliff at a million miles an hour. Fact. Current Big Brother betting odds – 80/1

Sara – Another week in the Big Brother house, another display of absolutely piss-all from Sara – the girl with the face of Angelina Jolie and the personality of some especially uninteresting vapour. Right now Sara might be developing a bit of a crush on Darnell. She might not be – every time Sara is shown on Big Brother we start smashing ourselves about the face with a tin tray because we’ve discovered it’s less painful and pointless than paying attention to her – but let’s just say she is. Fingers crossed that their kids have her looks and his personality. They’d still be bullied at school, but – let’s face it – rather that than the other way around. Current Big Brother betting odds – 66/1

Maysoon – Much has been made of Maysoon’s developing personality – all of a sudden she’s actually started to engage the Big Brother housemates in conversation, rather than just sit around sucking her cheeks in and blankly staring into the middle-distance all day. We’re not convinced, though. Look – who’s the biggest personality in the Big Brother house at the moment? Lisa? Big whoop – she’s basically a transvestite with the voice of a Chuckle Brother. The Big Brother producers know that there’s nobody interesting left in the show, which is why they’re blindly flailing around trying to find something, anything, to fill their daily hour with. And apparently the occasional mutterings of a hopelessly dull deodorant model do that quite well. They don’t – it’s not an exaggeration to say that we’d rather dive into a quarry full of dirty heroin needles than listen to Maysoon talk about anything. Ever. Current Big Brother betting odds – 40/1

Lisa – So, without Mario in the Big Brother house to constantly dominate her, what’s Lisa like as a person? Fucking awful, in a word. As well as having a face that looks like a permanently blind child’s Crayola scrawl of a pretty lady, Lisa’s also taken it upon herself to round on Rachel and Kat as often as possible. God knows why – being mean to Rachel is a bit like shooting a puppy in the face. And another thing – Lisa’s one of those awful arseholes who think they’re far more deep than they actually are, as seen during her bewildering discussion with Darnell about how you should never abuse the sea. Physically abuse the sea. With your fists. For some reason, Lisa’s never been put up for Big Brother eviction. This must either be because the Big Brother housemates are stupid or because they’re vainly hoping that next week’s task involves turning the Diary Room into a lethal injection chamber. We know which of these options is true, but we know which one we want to be true, too. Current Big Brother betting odds – 25/1

Tomorrow: Big Brother betting odds for Stuart, Rachel, Mikey and Rex. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.

But the eviction of Belinda hasn’t been the only thing to happen in the Big Brother house this weekend – the mantle of Big Brother head of house has passed from Darnell to Dale. What will his tenure as boss be like? Better than Darnell’s? Worse? Or, as we suspect, so sodding similar that you’ll want to corkscrew your own eyes out just for a bit of variation? You decide.

But who’s going to win Big Brother this year? Here are the Big Brother betting odds for Mohamed, Maysoon, Sara and Rebecca, with help from Paddy Power…

Mohamed – Regular readers will remember that this time last week we urged Mohamed to do something, anything, to prove his worth as a Big Brother housemate. Readers, Mohamed has not let us down – in the last seven days Mohamed has played out of his skin in that he a) ate a banana and b) picked up a toothbrush. Great work Mohamed! However, it’s a testament to Mohamed’s incredible unpopularity that both of these actions resulted in gigantic arguments. Mohamed obviously doesn’t stand a hope in hell of winning Big Brother, but let’s keep him in for a few more weeks. We want to see what the most gaspingly mundane thing he’s capable of turning into a flare-up is. Current Big Brother betting odds – 100/1

Maysoon – Maysoon is another Big Brother housemate worthy of our praise this week, because she’s done the impossible and managed to be even more pointless and anonymous than Mohamed. The woman literally doesn’t do anything. Alright, maybe that’s a lie – this weekend she ran for head of the house. Sadly, and somewhat inevitably, she lost, which was a shame. Being head of the Big Brother house means that you have to occasionally assert your personality, and – since Maysoon doesn’t actually have one of those – we were interested to see what she’d assert instead. Her lovely hair? Current Big Brother betting odds – 66/1

Sara - You know when you just instinctively don’t like someone for no reason? That’s pretty much exactly how we feel about Sara. We just can’t help it – it’s probably got something to do with her voice. When Sara speaks, it’s like the world’s most vacuously self-obsessed mosquito has got jammed into your ear and just keeps burrowing closer and closer towards your brain until the monotonous whine gets too much to bear and you end up shooting your face off with a cannon just to make it stop. We don’t even know what Sara has done in the Big Brother house this last week, but one thing’s for sure – even if she stopped world hunger she’d probably still piss us off a little bit. Current Big Brother betting odds – 50/1

Rebecca – Rebecca is in the heaven side of the Big Brother house now, but last week she was in the hell side and didn’t we all bloody know about it. Even though she’s probably got enough fat stored up in her colossal funbags to keep her going without food for a solid couple of decades, Rebecca moaned and whined and, at one point, actually collapsed because it was all too much for her. Speaking of Rebecca’s boobs, this last week has been characterised by her worries that the lack of food would make her jugs shrivel away to nothing. Rebecca, we think we speak on behalf of the entire nation when we say that if your boobs shrivelling away to nothing is what it’ll take for you to stop wanging them about in the mistaken belief that they’re somehow erotic, then we’re going to start campaigning for you never to eat again. Current Big Brother betting odds – 33/1

Tomorrow – Big Brother betting odds for Lisa, Rachel, Stuart, Rex and Mikey. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.

That’s no fun. That’s not what we want at all. So thank heavens for Mario, who was evicted from Big Brother on Friday and steadfastly refused to understand that people dislike him for being a hopeless David Brent clone with zero self-awareness about what a prick he is. Mario, you truly are a hero. Don’t go changing. OK, maybe change a bit…

With Mario gone, who’ll win Big Brother? Here are the Big Brother betting odds to win for Belinda, Mohamed, Maysoon, Sara and Rebecca, with help from Paddy Power…

Belinda – We don’t think Belinda should be evicted from Big Brother, you know. We think someone should build a cannon, stuff Belinda into it, fire her into space and splatter her against the surface of the moon. Because if that’s what it takes to stop her from walking around the Big Brother house going “BYA ZJAH DWOO WHEY SCHWOO” like a sunshine-warped vinyl copy of It Ain’t Necessarily So recorded by a serial killer on death row as his last request, then so be it. But Belinda doesn’t just relentlessly scat – no, there’s much more to her than that. She also only wears black and white to show solidarity to, um, black and white people – cruelly ignoring the browns and the yellows, the bitch – and she snores. Oh, she snores. That’s why everyone will nominate her this week. But please, let’s keep Belinda in for a few more weeks. There’ll be more fights that way. Current Big Brother betting odds – 100/1

Mohamed – For a second a few weeks ago you thought Mohamed was getting exciting, didn’t you? When he inadvertently kickstarted the biggest fight of Big Brother so far and then cried so intensely that you thought he had all kinds of hidden depths to him? Well, you’re wrong. Mohamed has gone back to doing nothing. Literally nothing. He isn’t even eating to excess any more. He isn’t even liked or disliked any more – Mohamed is just there, like dust or that mole you’re thinking about getting removed in case it goes bad. Pfff. Current Big Brother betting odds – 66/1

Maysoon – Where Mohamed needs a personality because he’s essentially just an incredibly mediocre person, Maysoon doesn’t need anything of the sort. Prior to entering the Big Brother house, Maysoon was a model, you see. And, as we all know, models don’t need to have personalities because they look quite nice. That’s why Maysoon vanished into the background from the instant she stepped foot into the Big Brother house – because she doesn’t do anything, apart from glumly smoke all the time. The other Big Brother housemates have said that they admire Maysoon’s self-assurance, but it isn’t self-assurance at all. Maysoon only radiates quiet calm because mentally she’s constantly trying to work out how to spell the word ‘cat’. Current Big Brother betting odds – 66/1

Sara – No no no. There are currently three Big Brother housemates statistically less likely to win Big Brother than Sara. That’s all wrong – Sara should absolutely be the least likely to win. By a mile. By a million miles. It’s her voice. Her voice and her mouth and her brain. Every time we see Sara breathing in to start talking, a little part of us dies. That’s because we know that what’s bound to follow is going to be the most staggering inane, self regarding tosh that a human is capable of saying, delivered in a violently loud whiny monotone. That always goes up at the end. Please evict Sara, someone. Please. Evict her or wire her jaws shut. One or the other. We’re being serious. Current Big Brother betting odds – 40/1

Rebecca – Of all the eviction-surviving strategies we’ve ever seen on Big Brother, Rebecca drunkenly deciding to chew the face off the house’s resident scrawny geek Luke is perhaps the weirdest. Weirder still, it worked. Lulled in by the promise of a new romance to coo over, the short-sighted Big Brother viewers decided to keep Rebecca in. But that’s such a mistake it isn’t funny. Remember that cover of Heat magazine from last year of Ziggy and Chanelle posing naked together? Imagine a repeat of that featuring Luke and Rebecca. Imagine it. Really imagine hard. That nausea you’re currently feeling? That’s a sign for you to evict Rebecca from Big Brother at the next opportunity. Current Big Brother betting odds – 40/1

Tomorrow: Big Brother betting odds for Stuart, Rex, Lisa, Rachel and Mikey. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.