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iPad 3 Imminent; Missing A Home Button Like A Big Wimp?

February 29th, 2012 By Robin Darke

Amazing isn't it? How a company can get people so worked up about a product which probably won't be that much different from what came before, but still make it seem that this is the best thing to be clad in plastic and metal since the original Terminator.

It's an astonishing thing to see Apple stores on launch days because between sweaty adults clamouring over an overly priced object like it was the last loaf of bread in 1920s Germany, there is the bitter taste of getting yourself in what feels like an exclusive club of Apple product users, even though they now rank into the millions.

So expect fervent panic and, frankly, rude pushing on March 16th when the iPad 3 is rumoured to be released. In typical Apple behaviour, there's nothing concrete to go on but hundreds of Apple rumours sites that seem sure that what they’re writing about is entirely correct and should not be doubted even though they are sure the back of the new iPhone will be made from unicorn hide.

Apple: Hating Those Other Pauper Devices

August 7th, 2012 By Matthew Laidlow

Thanks to the rise of telecommunications, the humble apple and blackberry are no longer seen as delicious pieces of fruit. ?Apple? in particular isn't seen as something to make cider with, but as a massive technology company.

Steve Jobs was the bloke who modified the clunky Apple desktop computers that were once seen as inferior to Microsoft?s PC?s and transformed them into sleek and sexy devices. They?re so trendy that anyone seen in a Starbucks without a white coloured laptop will be scorned at; all whilst their double filtered extra frothy latt? with polar bear milk gets sabotaged.

So what have Apple done exactly? They?ve made the MP3 market their own with the iPod took the geekiness out of computing. Now, they're tackling the tablet market and have already launched various iPads. But Apple products are expensive right? Course they are, but that shouldn?t matter according to Apple?s Tim Cook. He says that cheaper tablets ruin it for everyone.

Have The FCU Discovered That T-Pain Sleeps In A Coffin?!

January 12th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Unsettling news has reached hecklerspray! No, seriously. This is weird. Apparently, T-Pain sleeps in a coffin! A velvet-lined coffin no less! We’re terrified! We’ll never say anything nasty about lovely T-Pain again.

He’ll probably cause us a world of T-Pain. That’s the worst kind of pain there is. Much worse than B-Pain or P-Pain.

And we have the FCU to thank for this discovery as they uncover the strange world of one of hip-pop’s most famous. Not only that, we meet T-Pain’s twin! Yes. It gets creepier by the second! AAARGH!

Rap Tutorial: Learn From The Slowest Rappers Of All Time

May 5th, 2011 By hecklerspray staff

Rapping isn’t easy. Your average hip-hop track has an album’s worth of words, which across the whole of a hip-hop long player, is an astonishing amount of lyrics and themes to tackle. The best switch between styles, influenced by reggae toasters, jazz scats and some even invent their own envelope to push.

However, there’s a whole host of really rotten rappers out there who spit the prose in the most clunky, rhythmless manner. It’s pretty bad when you, a bona fide hip hop superstar, can be outrapped by The Anfield Rap.

No matter though! You would-be superstars of hip hop need not worry because we have a list of dreadful MCs to look at so you can learn from their mistakes. Avoid what they do, and you could be the next Tyler the Creator or Rakim!