Posts tagged as:

safety

Games Are Killing Your Kids

by Kris Silver on July 22, 2010 5 Comments

Your children are addicts. Well, not really, but according to Dr Alex Yellowlees of the Priory Hospital in Glasgow they are. But why does Dr Yellowlees believe that your child’s XBOX, PS3 or Wii will violently murder your child and then molest their corpse?

The obvious answer is because he’s a whole spread short of a picnic, or (more likely) he’s just a press whore.

“Dr” Yellowlees, who offers Personal Life Coaching Consultation as well as sensationalised sound bites, believes that our children are at risk of becoming addicted to videogames as parents look to games as a method of keeping their kids quiet for a few hours. Read More >>>

Badvertising – Hedgehog Road Safety Campaign

by Matthew Laidlow on March 7, 2008 2 Comments

We all know that the roads are dangerous, what with chavs thinking they own the road in their 1995 custom designed Renaults, to cyclists believing they can do what they want.

Crossing the road was once a simple procedure, but it is now a risky thing to do and could result in death. So what could the government do to help raise awareness of road safety? Introduce a road tax? Randomly arrest motorists to take them of the road? Whilst the following reasons sound quite plausible, they weren’t implemented. Instead, they enlisted the help of the humble hedgehog.

Yup – that mighty beast that is boss of the animal kingdom and self-regulator of the roads. Only problem being that it gets run over more than humans do. It’s a familiar story. You’re driving down a country lane and it's getting dark. The light is bad and you can barely see in front of you. All of a sudden, there’s a sickly-sounding crack. It’s a hedgehog. Well a dead one. Sadly it didn’t follow its green cross code. Now it’s just worn in to the tarmac of the road like dogs, cats, pheasants and the occasional fox. 

Having a hedgehog teaching us how to cross the road safely without ending up squished into someone's bonnet is like Amy Winehouse telling us the dangers of crack cocaine and Paul Gascoigne on the evils of excessive drinking, pretty much pointless and a waste of sodding time.

We all know that the roads are dangerous, what with chavs thinking they own the road in their 1995 custom designed Renaults, to cyclists believing they can do what they want. Crossing the road was once a simple procedure, but it is now a risky thing to do and could result in death. So what could the government do to help raise awareness of road safety? Introduce a road tax? Randomly arrest motorists to take them of the road? Whilst the following reasons sound quite plausible, they weren’t implemented. Instead, they enlisted the help of the humble hedgehog. Yup – that mighty beast that is boss of the animal kingdom and self-regulator of the roads. Only problem being that it gets run over more than humans do. It’s a familiar story. You’re driving down a country lane and it's getting dark. The light is bad and you can barely see in front of you. All of a sudden, there’s a sickly-sounding crack. It’s a hedgehog. Well a dead one. Sadly it didn’t follow its green cross code. Now it’s just worn in to the tarmac of the road like dogs, cats, pheasants and the occasional fox. Having a hedgehog teaching us how to cross the road safely without ending up squished into someone's bonnet is like Amy Winehouse telling us the dangers of crack cocaine and Paul Gascoigne on the evils of excessive drinking, pretty much pointless and a waste of sodding time.