Posts tagged as:

Sacked

Justin Bieber Is Turning Into A Mega Brat As Predicted

by Mof Gimmers

Just as we all assumed, Justin Bieber is turning into a sneering little brat… a git of the highest order. Throw endless attention at a child and he’ll repay you with the kind of behaviour that would embarrass your average MTV producer. Now Bieber has had a film out and got himself a starlet girlfriend [...]

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Richard Keys And Andy Gray Are Back On The Airwaves

by Kris Silver

The transfer season may well be over, but the biggest football transfer of the year has just taken place. That’s right, after having their contracts terminated by Sky Sports, public whipping boys Richard Keys and Andy Gray have signed for conference side talkSPORT, in a deal said to be worth roughly the price of a [...]

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Top Gear’s The Stig Goes On The Whine Offensive At The BBC

by Mof Gimmers

You know Thingummy Chops? That fella who could drive cars really fast? Him who was The Stig for a few years? Yeah. Him. He’s called Ben SomethingOrOther. No. We don’t care either. Well, Mr Whatsit is moaning and complaining about the BBC and the people at Top Gear because they paid him to drive a [...]

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Exclusive! Identity Revealed Of New Top Gear Stig

by Mof Gimmers

We’ve been playing it coy and cool for the last few weeks because we’ve been sitting on a story so big that we assumed it must be a massive, outrageous lie. We still can’t quite believe what we’re about to announce. The crux of the matter is that we’ve known the person behind the helmet [...]

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Top Gear’s The Stig Has Been Fired Says Jeremy Clarkson Before Presumably Getting New Stig

by Mof Gimmers

People were up in arms about The Stig’s unmasking being considered newsworthy. So, of course, this article is dedicated to those people in an attempt to wind them up to the point where they grind their teeth into dust. Of course, you’ll be more than aware of the fact that Some Bloke told the world [...]

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Lindsay Lohan: Sacked Again

by Stuart Heritage

People always bang on about Lindsay Lohan’s work ethic like it’s something to be ashamed of, but that girl knows dedication better than anyone else.

It’s just us who are looking at it wrong. True, Lindsay Lohan’s constant brushes with substance abuse, rumours of epic wayward unprofessionalism, diva-ish behaviour and stints in jail have ensured that she’ll probably never work again – but look at Lindsay’s dedication to getting sacked from increasingly disappointing jobs. She’s the best at that. LindsayLohan is the Laurence Olivier of that.

This time, Lindsay Lohan has apparently been sacked as the host of the World Music Awards – the dreariest, most low-rent awards show on Earth – because she didn’t like the idea of having a co-star. But let’s look on the bright side – since this is easily the lowest point of LindsayLohan’s career, the only way is up. Well, until next week when she’s fired from the set of a SafeStyle UK double glazing advert, anyway.

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Heroes Bigwigs Get The Boot, Heroes Still Poopants

by Stuart Heritage

Two ways to tell that a TV show is in trouble: 1) its producers get fired and 2) the show is so terrible it makes people want to vomit tears.

And that spells a big uh-oh for Heroes, because both of those apply equally to it. The latter has done since around the end of the first season, but the former has only just happened. Heroes co-executive producers Jeph Loeb and Jesse Alexander have been given the boot by NBC in an attempt to make the show decent again.

There’s no word on who’ll replace Loeb and Alexander on Heroes, but we think it’ll be us. We have a three-point Heroes resuscitation plan raring to go, and it’s unbeatable. 1) Reduce the cast down to a key core of characters, 2) ditch all the time travel, and 3) bring in a new character who’s a cartoon time-travelling giraffe who speaks in rhymes like a rapper and has magical sunglasses. Kids still like rap, right?

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Beauty Queen Sacked In ‘Actually Nothing To Do With Sex’ Shock

by Stuart Heritage

We’ve literally spent months dreaming about becoming Miss Teen Louisiana USA, so we can’t tell you how miffed we are at Lindsey Evans.

Not only did 18-year-old Lindsey Evans snatch the title of Miss Teen Louisiana USA from under our noses – we knew we should have shaved our bum for the swimsuit round! – but she’s also gone and squandered it by allegedly running away from a restaurant without paying, and getting dethroned as Miss Teen Louisiana USA as a result.

It’s a shocking development. After all, everyone knows that beauty queens only get dethroned when they act like gigantic sluts and take naked pretend-lesbian photos of themselves for theinternet . True, police did find a small bag of marijuana in Lindsey Evans’ possession, but that hardly makes up for anything. What we’re basically saying is that Lindsey Evans should be more of a slutty lesbian. And possibly invest in a dildo.

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Usher Re-Hires His Mum, Which is an Odd Thing to Have to Say

by Ian Dransfield

Usher really must have thought he had it all going for him. He had a multi multi multi million selling album, a wife (eventually, a few times), a child with his name and some hats. Things were looking rosy for the dancing pop prat. Then he brought out a new album, ‘Here I Stand’, and [...]

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Scott Weiland Vs Velvet Revolver: The Inevitable Whiny Retort

by Stuart Heritage

You know what’s better than Scott Weiland publicly lashing out at his Velvet Revolver bandmates who just sacked him? Nothing.

Alright, maybe that’s an overstatement – Velvet Revolver never having even existed in the first place is clearly better than that – but Scott Weiland being all whiny in public will do for now.

Scott Weiland has put out an angry, confusing statement about his dismissal from Velvet Revolver where, at one point, he tips Johann Sebastian Bach to become his replacement. Which would work – dig up the 250-year-dead Bach, pump him full of heroin, slap a ridiculous Nazi hat onto his mouldy corpse head and he’d be the spitting image of Scott Weiland. Alright, he actually meant Sebastian Bach from Skid Row. But that’s less funny so we’ll ignore it.

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