Articles tagged with: Sacked
People always bang on about Lindsay Lohan's work ethic like it's something to be ashamed of, but that girl knows dedication better than anyone else. It's just us who are looking at it wrong. True, Lindsay Lohan's constant brushes with substance abuse, rumours of epic wayward unprofessionalism, diva-ish behaviour and stints in jail have ensured that she'll probably never work again - but look at Lindsay's dedication to getting sacked from increasingly disappointing jobs. She's the best at that. Lindsay Lohan is the Laurence Olivier of that. This time, Lindsay Lohan has apparently been sacked as the host of the World Music Awards - the dreariest, most low-rent awards show on Earth - because she didn't like the idea of having a co-star. But let's look on the bright side - since this is easily the lowest point of Lindsay Lohan's career, the only way is up. Well, until next week when she's fired from the set of a SafeStyle UK double glazing advert, anyway.
Two ways to tell that a TV show is in trouble: 1) its producers get fired and 2) the show is so terrible it makes people want to vomit tears. And that spells a big uh-oh for Heroes, because both of those apply equally to it. The latter has done since around the end of the first season, but the former has only just happened. Heroes co-executive producers Jeph Loeb and Jesse Alexander have been given the boot by NBC in an attempt to make the show decent again. There's no word on who'll replace Loeb and Alexander on Heroes, but we think it'll be us. We have a three-point Heroes resuscitation plan raring to go, and it's unbeatable. 1) Reduce the cast down to a key core of characters, 2) ditch all the time travel, and 3) bring in a new character who's a cartoon time-travelling giraffe who speaks in rhymes like a rapper and has magical sunglasses. Kids still like rap, right?
We've literally spent months dreaming about becoming Miss Teen Louisiana USA, so we can't tell you how miffed we are at Lindsey Evans. Not only did 18-year-old Lindsey Evans snatch the title of Miss Teen Louisiana USA from under our noses - we knew we should have shaved our bum for the swimsuit round! - but she's also gone and squandered it by allegedly running away from a restaurant without paying, and getting dethroned as Miss Teen Louisiana USA as a result. It's a shocking development. After all, everyone knows that beauty queens only get dethroned when they act like gigantic sluts and take naked pretend-lesbian photos of themselves for the internet. True, police did find a small bag of marijuana in Lindsey Evans' possession, but that hardly makes up for anything. What we're basically saying is that Lindsey Evans should be more of a slutty lesbian. And possibly invest in a dildo.
Usher really must have thought he had it all going for him. He had a multi multi multi million selling album, a wife (eventually, a few times), a child with his name and some hats. Things were looking rosy for the dancing pop prat. Then he brought out a new album, 'Here I Stand', and - compared to his last one, 'Confessions', at least - it flopped something rotten. While still selling just under a million copies to date, this is considered a failure by both Usher and, more likely, his record label. So what's the solution when you're known around the world, popular, good looking and - apparently - talented? Why - sack your management and go running to your mum. Obviously. Which is exactly what Raymond has gone and done, re-employing the mother he sacked just over a year ago as a part of his throwing his toys out of the pram reaction to not selling enough records. Aww, bless him.
You know what's better than Scott Weiland publicly lashing out at his Velvet Revolver bandmates who just sacked him? Nothing.
Alright, maybe that's an overstatement - Velvet Revolver never having even existed in the first place is clearly better than that - but Scott Weiland being all whiny in public will do for now.
Scott Weiland has put out an angry, confusing statement about his dismissal from Velvet Revolver where, at one point, he tips Johann Sebastian Bach to become his replacement. Which would work - dig up the 250-year-dead Bach, pump him full of heroin, slap a ridiculous Nazi hat onto his mouldy corpse head and he'd be the spitting image of Scott Weiland. Alright, he actually meant Sebastian Bach from Skid Row. But that's less funny so we'll ignore it.
People have often wondered what Velvet Revolver would be like without an annoying skinny turd dressed as a Nazi twonking around at the front of the stage.
And now they'll get to find out, because Velvet Revolver have sacked singer Scott Weiland being he's such a monumental douchebag all the time. We're paraphrasing slightly.
In fact, Scott Weiland has been dismissed from Velvet Revolver because of his "increasing erratic" behaviour. Given that Scott Weiland is basically a whiny bipolar heroin addict with a Nazi hat who's been arrested for buying crack cocaine, beating up women and driving under the influence of drugs and alcohol, it's hard to imagine what Weiland could have done to up his level of erracticness. What? He's reformed Stone Temple Pilots? Ohhhhhh.
Folks, we’ve got some good news, some bad news and some horrible news. Which do you want first?Let’s start with the good news, shall we: The entire cast of dire TV twaddle Skins are to be made redundant! Yeah! No more undeveloped twatty stereotypes with better hair than you!
That would be so sweet if it weren't for the bad news.
The twatty stereotypical undeveloped characters are to be replaced by twattier further stereotyped undeveloped characters with even better hair. Fuck. The good news isn’t quite so good anymore, is it? Pretend you haven’t read this bit. Delete it from your brains. It hasn’t happened.
Christmas is coming - you can tell by that distinct chill in the air, the look of barely-contained glee on the faces of children and the sight of a red-faced, bulge-eyed former Hollyoaks actor hurling swearwords at a cluster of young families.
That former Hollyoaks actor, as if it could be anyone else, was our old friend Paul Danan - who up to six of you may remember from also being on Celebrity Love Island a couple of years ago. Paul Danan was all set to play Jack in the local panto production of Jack And The Beanstalk at Preston's Charter Theatre this year, but now he's not. What could Paul Danan have done to lose such a searingly high-profile acting role? Why, screaming "Come on, make some motherfucking noise!" at the disparate gaggle of bewildered children and pensioners who'd come to see Danan switch on Preston's Christmas lights, of course.
