Sacha Baron Cohen is taking a step away from mocking the working classes of various countries in an attempt to ultimately make stupid people look even stupider on the screen (obviously, we’re talking about Ali G and Borat here) in favour of playing Freddie Mercury.
This is the latest in a long line of Let’s Flog The Dead Horse That Is Queen, thanks to the surviving group member’s lack of talent.
Unless, of course, you count Brian May’s penchant for wearing clogs and notoriously having curly hair a ‘talent’. Read More >>>
Each year the Oscars have a theme. Admittedly most of the time the theme is Sobbing Millionaires, so nobody really notices.
But not this year. This year it looks like the main Oscars theme will be Whatever You Do, Don’t Piss James Cameron Off. One movie producer has already been banned from the Oscars for badmouthing Avatar in an email, and now Sacha Baron Cohen has also been told to stay away because his planned Avatar skit might have ended up offending James Cameron.
Not that James Cameron minds. In fact, he’s said that he’d love the Oscars to poke fun at Avatar. Obviously the people responsible for the poking will never work in Hollywood again, and their house might mysteriously burn down in the middle of the night, and all the food they eat afterwards might taste a bit like poison, but that’s all part of the fun, isn’t it?
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The thing about terrorists is this – sure, they’re more than happy to sit giggling in a small room with a flaming gay Austrian for hours on end, but if you put it in an international film, darn it all, they are gonna have to save face.
And when we say save face, we mean they’re gonna have to kill Sacha Baron Cohen. After all, in his Bruno movie he somehow made them all look homo friendly – and something like that could lead to a lot of teasing at the next militant Muslim extremist Christmas gala.
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It’s the second-most controversial film of the year – after Paul Blart – but Bruno has aced the weekend box office.
Despite attracting waves of controversy based on its edgy subject matter, Bruno – Sacha Baron Cohen’s follow-up to Borat – has entered the US weekend box office at number one, where it will definitely remain next week even though Harry Potter’s coming out.
It just goes to show that Transformers isn’t the only movie that can break records this year – Bruno has officially become the highest-grossing movie ever to feature a talking urethra. Michael Bay, we await your response with baited breath.
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Things that are certain in life: Big Brother will be awful but it will drag us all in for the hideous ride. Death, taxes and an irritating headache on the day you’re supposed to be going on a big night out. Sacha Baron Cohen will get sued eight billion times for whichever of his comedy characters he’s been parading around most recently.
Yes, the latter has once again happened, with Cohen’s Bruno being sued for allegedly hurting a woman in a bingo hall quite badly.
Normally this would bring cries of derision from hecklerspray, but this time it looks a bit different…
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When Hecklerspray gets called into various places to accept awards and whatnot, we routinely do four things.
The first is we always have a sword pointed at the innards of whoever hands us our trophy. That’s just to ensure an enthusiastic and positive over-the-top speech, which works well over half the time. If you Youtube ‘Hecklerspray, Billy Crystal, Kidney Sack Spill’ ‘you’ll see exactly what we’re talking about there.
Other major celebrities have a similar routine of only attending certain award ceremonies. Paula Abdul, for instance, only attends them when the presenter is Sacha Baron Cohen with cameras rolling.
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We have a friend that used to orchestrate panda fights in her basement.
She’d charge $12 a pop to watch, and when enough people were gathered around she’d let the beasts out of their cages. Those pandas are savage animals too – we saw them skin a guy once. It was a half-dead senior citizen, but a guy nonetheless.
But all that was when the pandas were younger. With the passing of time came panda-related geriatric problems. Also with the passing of time came a strange gay-panda love affair. It was actually horrific – not that anything’s wrong with that.
That experience is why we feel we can relate so well to a whole bunch of people in Arkansas. They showed up for a vicious cage fight, and what they got instead was two grown mean undressing each other in a flurry of lust and passion.
And you know who people are blaming? Borat. We mean Bruno. People are blaming Bruno.
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