Jennifer Lopez has had a tricky life. She’s spoken openly about her abusive, alcoholic background which saw her struggling with alcohol problems herself. Her troubles hit the headlines in ’94 when she set fire to Andre Rison’s tennis shoes in a bath which ultimately burned down the mansion she lived in. After years of being a successful R’n'B singer, she died in a horrible car accident.
Hang on. That’s Lisa Left Eye Lopes.
Arse.
Jennifer Lopez, who isn’t dead, is in fact looking at a massive pay-cheque, $12 million no less, as she looks to have agreed to serve as a judge on American Idol’s 10th season. It has been rumoured for a while, despite shadowy elites trying to trash-talk her, and now, it’s all but formality. Read More >>>
Jennifer Lopez hasn’t been up to much lately… has she? Thing is, she stopped being mega famous a while back and only appeared in the columns when she was acting like a stroppy git. Or that’s what her detractors would have you believe.
This is, naturally, according to Her People who are implying that there’s some sort of shadowy cabal of shit-slingers who are trying to sabotage J-Lo’s attempts to become the next ‘American Idol’ judge.
Honestly – people in television and media are this paranoid. This is largely thanks to the huge amounts of cocaine they consume, which sees them holed-up and cackling wildly at imagined threats, shaking their fists at the horizon shouting “THEY WON’T BEAT US DOWN!”, despite the fact ‘they’ and ‘us’ are both imagined. Read More >>>
In this post-feminist landscape, beauty contests are more about displaying a united spirit of sisterhood than anything else – well, that and attacking your competitors with pepper spray to stop them winning, as Ingrid Marie Rivera has found out.
Ingrid Marie Rivera, you see, is going to be Puerto Rico's representative at next year's Miss Universe competition. But her journey has been fraught with more peril than anyone could have imagined because rather than Vaseline her teeth and make up a lot of bullshit about animals like all other wannabe Miss Universes do, Ingrid Marie Rivera had to cope with someone sabotaging her clothes and make-up with pepper spray before the show began. And by struggling through the pageant covered in hives and emerging as Miss Puerto Rico, Ingrid Marie Rivera has proved that nothing can stand before her ultimate goal of wearing a sash, smiling subordinately and being found attractive by Donald Trump for a year.
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Jennifer Lopez has had a tricky life. She’s spoken openly about her abusive, alcoholic background which saw her struggling with alcohol problems herself. Her troubles hit the headlines in ’94 when she set fire to Andre Rison’s tennis shoes in a bath which ultimately burned down the mansion she lived in. After years of being a successful R’n'B singer, she died in a horrible car accident.
