Ryan Phillippe - HecklerSpray

10 Celebrity Couples I Wish Were Still Together

May 4th, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

I am someone who fucking hates change. It kills me a little bit and I have a lot of trouble letting go. I (sadly) especially have a lot of trouble when my favourite celebrity couples break-up. It makes me a feel like a child of divorce, which I understand is weird and probably not healthy.

Over the years many celeb couples have captured my heart and even though they’ve split and moved on and seem perfectly fine in their new lives and with their new significant others, part of me just can’t let go of the sexy famous love that once was. Spoiler alert: You know Britney and Justin will be on this list.

Ryan Phillippe To Have Sex With A DNA Machine To See If He’s A Daddy Or Not

March 15th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Ryan Phillippe might be a daddy! Hurray! Where do we send a card of congratulations? He must be so thrilled at the prospect of being responsible for yet another human shaped disappointment into the world!

But wait! What’s this? His ex, pregnant model-cum-actress Alexis Knapp, is saying that the thing growing inside her was put there by Phillippe, but he’s not so sure.

In fact, he’s not certain of it at all. And so, he’s going to ‘do’ a DNA test. We assume that this means he’ll have to have sex with a DNA machine and then, when both babies are born, the machine’s will be compared to the one that pops out of Knapp and people in white coats will see if they look kinda similar.

MacGruber: Blu-ray Review

August 5th, 2012 By David Scarborough

Saturday Night Live has been responsible for a barrage of chuckleheads over the years. But for every success there's been a failure as miserable as a thousand Night at the Roxbury?s.

Will Ferrell, Bill Murray, Mike Myers and Tina Fey all went on to bigger and better things, while Dana Carvey, Jon Lovitz and Chris Kattan all slipped down the toilet bowel of obscurity.

Will Forte is riding the periphery, neither hitting mainstream success but rearing his gurning head in multiple roles in television?and film. Now, like Myers and Ferrell, he has graduated to the big screen with one of his skits, MacGruber, a pastiche on a TV show nobody cares or remembers.

Ryan Thingy Splits Up With Abbie Whatshername

February 23rd, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

You know Ryan Phillippe? Actually, no, how silly of us. Of course you don’t know who Ryan Phillippe is.

It’s not like he’s famous or anything, is it? But anyway, Ryan Phillippe – who was in a film once or something – used to be married to Reese Witherspoon. But they split up, because either a) Reese Witherspoon realised that Ryan Phillippe had been cheating on her with Abbie Cornish, or b) she just forgot who he was on the basis that he isn’t famous.

Well, now it’s emerged that Abbie Cornish has now split up with Ryan Phillippe, because either a) Ryan Phillippe has an untameable wandering eye or b) she just forgot who he was on the basis that he isn’t famous. Pretty sure it’s the second one, actually.

Jay Leno Sorry For Being An Unfunny Tool

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Jay Leno's crushing inability to make people laugh has long been well-known but, heavens, he's surpassed himself this time.

A few nights ago, while interviewing Ryan Phillippe on his show, Jay Leno ditched the usual question/answer format to basically goad Ryan into pulling his 'gayest face' until he threatened to walk offstage.

And now Jay Leno has apologised. He's now come to realise that mocking homosexuals in the 21st century is both outmoded and offensive and has promised that next time Ryan Phillipe comes on his show he'll only restrict himself to try and make him jump up and down for food in a loincloth like the black people do.

Ryan Phillippe Gets All ‘Poor Me’ About Reese Witherspoon Divorce

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Remember when Reese Witherspoon got divorced from Ryan Phillippe and everyone thought it was because he was boning that other girl?

Us too, but it turns out that everyone was wrong about it – because Ryan Phillippe has just been interviewed in W Magazine and he revealed that he was so cut up about divorcing his vastly more successful wife that he literally didn't get out of bed for five months.

Also, according to Ryan Phillippe, "an outside person can never cause a divorce." So, lads, remember to keep that argument in mind for when your wife catches you boning other women. We hear that one's watertight from a legal perspective.