Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
You may not be able to put a face to the name Ryan O’Neal without looking at his picture, right. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t read this article. That’s because O’Neal is a monumentally fucked-up man, and you love a bit of that, right? Scum.
See, Ryan was famously the partner of Farrah Fawcett… and well, he’s been addicted to meth and, according to his daughter, he keeps trying to have sex with his children.
That’s got your attention hasn’t it?
Farrah Fawcett’s death wasn’t just overshadowed by Michael Jackson’s death – it was comprehensively out-weirded.
And that’s almost impossible. Because even though Michael Jackson left behind a bunch of kids that weren’t really his, an ex-wife who doesn’t really want access to her own children and an abusive father who was deliberately cut out of his will, Farrah Fawcett left behind her boyfriend Ryan O’Neal. And that’s much better. Much much much better.
Because Ryan O’Neal has admitted, in print, in a widely-read magazine, that he spent some of Farrah Fawcett’s funeral attempting to hook up with his own daughter. Genius.
Until now, the only time methamphetamine was linked to Ryan O’Neal was when we had to eat a bucket of it to stay awake during Love Story.
But that’s no longer the case. Ryan O’Neal and his son Redmond have both been charged with methamphetamine possession and other drug offences stemming from time police offices searched their house and allegedly found both of them, um, in possession of methamphetamine.
However, if they’re found guilty of these charges, both Ryan O’Neal and his son will probably escape a prison sentence. That’s because if they go to jail, they’ll be less likely to stumble round their house shooting guns at each other and tying each other to banisters and hitting each other in the head with fireplace pokers. And only a monster would put an end to that sort of first-class entertainment.
Indications that your family is effed, volume 12: When Tatum O’Neal looks like the wisest, most together member of your gene pool.
By that right, the O’Neal family don’t stand a chance. On Wednesday Ryan O’Neal and his son Redmond were both arrested for the possession of methamphetamine during a routine probation sweep of their house, and it’s taken Tatum O’Neal to bring some perspective to the matter.
Yes, Tatum O’Neal – the woman who’s kissed Michael Jackson with tongues, claims to have had an orgy with Melanie Griffith, lost custody of her kids because she was wasted on heroin all the time and was recently arrested for trying to buy crack in New York – has put the Ryan O’Neal drug arrest into perspective. In summary, that perspective is as follows: Yeesh.
A public plea: Can someone, anyone, from MTV please immediately go and make a reality TV show about Ryan O’Neal and his family? Thanks.
Because, without question, a TV show about the family life of Ryan O’Neal would hands-down be the best piece of television ever made. Especially if it explained why Ryan O’Neal and his son Redmond were yesterday both arrested on the felony charge of methamphetamine possession.
Wow. So Oscar-nominated actor Ryan O’Neal (father of Tatum O’Neal, the actress who was recently arrested for buying crack) and his son Redmond (who last year tied his half-brother to a staircase like a dog and hit his girlfriend in the head with a fireplace poker until Ryan O’Neal actually had to fire a gun at him to make him stop) might be on drugs. Who knew?
