Articles tagged with: Russian
Mel Gibson’s Russian Girlfriend Is Ripe With Child
Is Russia a third world country? Perhaps - but lets review the indicators before we rush to judgment. The first is that we've recently seen three television ads suggesting we send only 75¢ a day to what looks like a science-farm full of little bald Gorbachev clones. This doesn't sound like much until you know an apparently overweight Sally Struthers was their spokesperson, and the children had flies crawling across their head-spots. A second indicator to consider could be that their non-cloned population growth is so high they've begun to outsource for sperm donors. Mel Gibson, apparently, was quick to oblige.
Is Russia a third world country? Perhaps - but lets review the indicators before we rush to judgment. The first is that we've recently seen three television ads suggesting we send only 75¢ a day to what looks like a science-farm full of little bald Gorbachev clones. This doesn't sound like much until you know an apparently overweight Sally Struthers was their spokesperson, and the children had flies crawling across their head-spots. A second indicator to consider could be that their non-cloned population growth is so high they've begun to outsource for sperm donors. Mel Gibson, apparently, was quick to oblige.
Angelina Jolie Steals Tom Cruise’s Job: Scientology Shockingly Not Involved
It's a wonder Angelina Jolie still has time for movies these days, what with her off saving the world, donating to charity and stealing all the kids from Africa. But apparently she of the lips fame does have time - not only time, but she also has the inclination to take roles that were initially meant for one Tom Cruise. Not content with stealing all the babies from the birthplace of humanity, it would seem that Angelina Jolie also wants to steal roles from Scientologists. At least, that's what it looks like on current evidence. The long-touted but never actually made Edwin A. Salt is reportedly the film that Jolie will be taking the lead role in, with the title receiving a change as we would all expect. Edwina A. Salt doesn't sound that good, mind, so hopefully they'll put more thought into it than we have.
It's a wonder Angelina Jolie still has time for movies these days, what with her off saving the world, donating to charity and stealing all the kids from Africa. But apparently she of the lips fame does have time - not only time, but she also has the inclination to take roles that were initially meant for one Tom Cruise. Not content with stealing all the babies from the birthplace of humanity, it would seem that Angelina Jolie also wants to steal roles from Scientologists. At least, that's what it looks like on current evidence. The long-touted but never actually made Edwin A. Salt is reportedly the film that Jolie will be taking the lead role in, with the title receiving a change as we would all expect. Edwina A. Salt doesn't sound that good, mind, so hopefully they'll put more thought into it than we have.
Ronnie Wood Stumbles Off To Rehab For A Bit
We've never spent a week getting drunk in the arms of a Russian waitress who's a third of our age, but it sounds awful. So no wonder Ronnie Wood has decided to check into rehab. After flying back to apologise for his exploits to his long-suffering wife, Ronnie has checked into a clinic to beat his drinking problem once and for all. It sounds like a great idea, except that Ronnie Wood went to rehab to beat his drinking problem once and for all last month too, and that just made him run off to Ireland to get drunk with an unusually young Russian girl that he met in a sex club. So rehab is a brave move, because if the pattern holds he'll be mainlining heroin with a three-year-old Serbian toddler by the end of the month.
We've never spent a week getting drunk in the arms of a Russian waitress who's a third of our age, but it sounds awful. So no wonder Ronnie Wood has decided to check into rehab. After flying back to apologise for his exploits to his long-suffering wife, Ronnie has checked into a clinic to beat his drinking problem once and for all. It sounds like a great idea, except that Ronnie Wood went to rehab to beat his drinking problem once and for all last month too, and that just made him run off to Ireland to get drunk with an unusually young Russian girl that he met in a sex club. So rehab is a brave move, because if the pattern holds he'll be mainlining heroin with a three-year-old Serbian toddler by the end of the month.
Ronnie Wood Tries To Save His Marriage, About A Week Too Late
We've often found that things slip your mind when you're repeatedly having it off with a 20-year-old Russian cocktail waitress. Things like, ooh, let's say, the fact that you've been married to a non-Russian who isn't a cocktail waitress for longer than your new conquest has been alive. It's perfectly natural, so it's perfectly understandable that that's exactly what Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood seems to have been doing lately. But no more. According to reports, Ronnie Wood has decided to return to the UK and plead for forgiveness with his wife Jo. It'll be an important moment for both of them, but if Jo can find it in her heart to forgive Ronnie Wood then at least he'll know she'll probably forgive him the next time he picks up a skanky-looking Russian girl in a prostitute club too. Like we said, important.
We've often found that things slip your mind when you're repeatedly having it off with a 20-year-old Russian cocktail waitress. Things like, ooh, let's say, the fact that you've been married to a non-Russian who isn't a cocktail waitress for longer than your new conquest has been alive. It's perfectly natural, so it's perfectly understandable that that's exactly what Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood seems to have been doing lately. But no more. According to reports, Ronnie Wood has decided to return to the UK and plead for forgiveness with his wife Jo. It'll be an important moment for both of them, but if Jo can find it in her heart to forgive Ronnie Wood then at least he'll know she'll probably forgive him the next time he picks up a skanky-looking Russian girl in a prostitute club too. Like we said, important.
