HecklerSpray

Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

Awesome or Off-Putting: Small Dead Alien Kept in Spacious Russian Fridge

November 20th, 2011 By Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

If you stumbled across the body of an alien, what would you do with it? Other than taste it, we mean. We’re a bit dog-like that way. If you ever see us in the park gnawing on a squirrel leg, that’s why.

After we’d given that alien body a good chew, though, we’d see if we could sell it somewhere. For millions in Chinese dollars, whatever those are called. We definitely wouldn’t keep it in the freezer portion of our cheaply made Russian refrigerator. That’s what Marta Yegorovnam did when she found one.

And now she’s ready to tell you all about it.

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Russian News Reader Gives Barack Obama The Bird Live On TV

November 21st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Russia and America haven’t ever really got along have they? They’re both giganto land-masses that just love antagonising each other with spies, wars and lousy impressions of each others accents.

At least the news is always impartial, eh?

Like hell. Have you seen Fox News? And Fox & Co (not a Top of the Pops dance troupe, sadly) have got competition in the form of Tatiana Limanova who made her feelings on Barack Obama perfectly clear in a news bulletin.

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Team Spray Invade Press Conference With Flying Robot Member

September 28th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

We like to cause trouble here at hecklerspray. You knew that right? That’s why you’re going to vote for us at the Cosmo Blog Awards isn’t it?

Inspired by that guy who did a pretty lousy job of hitting Rupert Murdoch with a custard pie (he did a much better job of getting smacked upside his head by Mrs Murdoch mind you), we thought we’d jape one off in a formal setting.

Behold! The video of a flying dildo in Russia!

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Russian Oligarch Sparks Out Competitor On Televised Debate, Which Is Brilliant Obviously [Video]

September 19th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Russia. It’s a fabulous country isn’t it? It’s got spies with poison-tips umbrellas poking people ’til they die, amazing architecture, cool accents, an often baffling news channel (Russia Today is occasionally AMAZING) and, best yet, mental and powerful people.

We’ve already showed you why Vladimir Putin is much, much better than you… but what about the business magnates?

While we have Richard Branson messing around in his balloons and the assembled gargoyles of Dragons Den, Russia have people like Alexander Lebedev who likes to punch people spark out on televised debate shows. Seriously. Watch it over the jump.

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Girls Aloud Are Nothing But Whores

December 1st, 2010 By Matthew Laidlow

In Victorian times, a lady flashing just her ankles as she walked down the cobbled streets would send men and closet lesbians in to a wild frenzy. As time evolved, so did the styling of female clothing seen on a Friday or Saturday night. Off went the figure hiding gowns and flowing full length dresses. Out came hot pants, boob-tubes and not a lot else.

According to our calculations, you\’ll just need to visit Newcastle city centre in 2017 to see its inhabitants literally wearing takeaway menus to cover their bits and bobs.

So what's the problem? Those observing people who choose to reveal a lot of flesh instantly label them as whores and slags, which of course, isn’t always the case. However, the Girls Aloud PR team will be trying to rebut such slurs as an early shot of the band has been picked up by none other than a Russian escort website.

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Awesome or Off-Putting: Politician Pays To Have Her Legs Broken

July 4th, 2010 By Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Normally in this space we tell you awesome stories of space-aliens, ghosts and monsters eating your mom’s gross boobies on an A-1 covered platter, and then we provide multi-angled video to prove it true.

Today though – today we spin a tale that’s a tad different from those we normally tell. You see – today’s story is one of political aspiration, hurt childhood feelings and crazed Russian scientists that have probably only recently stopped trying to create super-boxers to destroy Rocky Balboa.

Today we tell you a tale of a woman who was tired of being short – so she paid to be painfully heightened over the course of a year.

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Awesome or Off-Putting: The Brosno Dragon

November 23rd, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

The Brosno DragonAwesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

The world of the paranormal can sometimes seem to be stuffed with mundane monsters. Anytime Bigfoot sees a camera he high steps it out of range. And Nessie – she’ll occasionally allow her floating-log looking hump to be photographed from a distance, but she’s far too shy for a close up.

Not so for the Brosno Dragon! It’s best known for eating Mongol armies and swallowing Nazi warplanes.

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Awesome or Off-Putting: (Video) Finally – Undeniable UFO Proof That You Can Take All The Way To The Bank (Unless You Can’t)

November 9th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

Russian 1968 UFOAwesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Roswell’s big problem is it’s all word of mouth. There are these tremendous claims of what went on there, but why believe a low-brow farmer? The same goes for Kecksburg. Sure, we’ve heard the military hauled out a tarp-covered something-or-other that was shaped like a gigantic acorn, but show us the pictures.

That said, there’s finally a UFO-crash discovery that was caught on film – and we owe it all to commie-riddled Russia!

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Eurovision 2009: Romania & Russia

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Eurovision 2009, Eurovision, Russia, Romania, Elena Gheorghe, The Balkan Girls, Russia ? Anastasiya Prykhodko, MamoWe’re going to start doubling up on these Eurovision profiles again. Not because we made a fundamental calculation error, but because we love you.

What’s the big Eurovision news of the day? Only that bloody rehearsals have started in Moscow. And from these we can tell you that the woman from the Ukraine is a dirty girl, that the girl from Albania is energetic and sexy and the man from Lithuania is a git. You’re welcome, readers.

Anyway, here are the Eurovision 2009 rundowns for Elena Gheorghe from Romania and Anastasiya Prykhodko from Russia…

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Miss World 2008 Won By The Dirty Ruskies

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

The two big beauty contests on the planet are Miss Universe – where everybody openly hates America – and Miss World.

Miss World doesn’t hate America. Or if it does, at least it’s clever about it. For instance, just look at who won Miss World 2008 this weekend – America’s arch enemy Russia.

Russia’s Kseniya Sukhinova has been crowned as the new Miss World, and she’s a worthy winner. Not just because she looks good in a bikini, though – Sukhinova also excelled in the ‘fashioning a small boat out of raw materials’ and ‘kicking footballs’ rounds. Honestly. Truly she is the pinnacle of humanity.

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