RPGs are like the 80s. Before the 80s were cool, they were revered by everyone as being the decade with the most eye meltingly bad fashion/music/celebrities. But that whole decade has had a resurgence in popularity; partly because of Lady Gaga’s vagina, partly because of Brian May’s tenacity (that man will not be forgotten easily).
Whatever the reason, the 80s are back, which is just like the rise in popularity that role playing games have had over the past few years.
Well before the Elder Scrolls and every other game had levelling up characteristics and diluted the market with enough hot RPG action to put you off them for life, there was a lower standard of charming RPG that grabbed us by the soon-to-be short and curlies, before paedophiles became all the rage.
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Bungie, the developers behind games such as Halo, Halo 2 and… erm, Halo 3 have made an announcement to all the people playing the leaked version of their latest game, Halo 4… I mean Halo: Reach.
Halo: Reach for the Stars is a first person shooter set somewhere in outer space and requires the player to climb various mountains higher and ultimately follow their heart’s desire. Okay, I may have confused the plot of the game with a song by S Club 7, but to be honest the plot is so ridiculously complex I genuinely can’t be bothered going into it. In its most basic form it works like this: Man has gun, man has space suit, man go into space and shoot evil alien for arbitrary reason that serves as a plot device.
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There is absolutely no point in writing anything about this game when there is such an incredible synopsis available.
So here it is:
The Great B-Ball Purge of 2041, a day so painful to some that it is referred to only as the “B-Ballnacht”. Thousands upon thousands of the world’s greatest ballers were massacred in a swath of violence and sports bigotry as the game was outlawed worldwide. The reason: the Chaos Dunk, a jam so powerful its mere existence threatens the balance of chaos and order. Among the few ballers and fans that survived the basketball genocide was Charles Barkley, the man capable of performing the “Verboten Jam”…
Flash forward 12 years to the post-cyberpocalyptic ruins of Neo New York, 2053. A Chaos Dunk rocks the island of Manhattan, killing 15 million. When the finger is put on the aging Charles Barkley, he must evade the capture of the B-Ball Removal Department, led by former friend and baller Michael Jordan, and disappear into the dangerous underground of the post-cyberpocalypse to clear his name and find out the mysterious truth behind the Chaos Dunk. Joined by allies along the way, including his son Hoopz, Barkley must face the dangers of a life he thought he gave up a long time ago and discover the secrets behind the terrorist organization B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S.
Just play it.
Download-o Here:
Charles Barkley: Shut Up And Jam Gaiden
