Old men! Are you both widowed and divorced and looking to attract women young enough to be your great niece? Then why not invest in a mandolin, because it seems to have bloody done Paul McCartney the world of good*.

Just a couple of weeks after Paul McCartney was seen smooching around with a New York millionairess - and a couple of months of Paul McCartney was seen getting close to Renee Zellweger - Paul McCartney is now thought to be dating star of no good films for a decade Rosanna Arquette, and the pair of them were recently seen hugging and gazing into each other's eyes in London. There's not much point dwelling on any of it, however, because at this rate Paul McCartney will have ditched Rosanna Arquette by the middle of next week, by which time he'll already be knee-deep in the female cast of One Tree Hill.

*You probably need to have been one of The Beatles too, now we think about it. Still, hope for Ringo. 

Mondays? Hecklerspray? Haiku competitions?

What else did you expect?

Eh? Last week's winner? Before we've announced that this week's subject is Paul McCartney?

I suppose we'd better do that, eh?