9 – Max Branning Off EastEnders: a much-needed critical evaluation – Watchwithmothers

8 - Interestment asks: ‘what is cool?’ Some idiots sort of stutter and look confused. Excellent – Interestment

7 - A webcam of some squirrels. Warning: this may restore your faith in planet Earth - UStream

6 - Do you like drama? Do you remember MySpace? Well here’s Freak, a MySpace drama, and it actually looks quite good – MySpace

5 - Prince Of Persia either looks brilliant or rubbish. Help us decide, please – AmyGrindhouse

4 – If the internet was an agony aunt, starring some of hecklerspray – Shoutingatcows

3 - Last week we said we like Dyson and they sent us a vacuum cleaner. This week we’re saying that we like Hi-Can beds. Mmm, HI-CAN! – Hi-Can

2 - Here’s a key. It doesn’t open anything. It costs £135. We’re literally crying - Domesticsluttery

1 - A dog with eyebrows = hilarious. A dog with eyebrows on a Japanese television show = HILARIOUS…

Whilst the legal implications are slight, everyone knows that copycatting is disgusting, an insult to humanity – and yet it goes completely unpunished. Every day, you probably stroll past two, perhaps three, copycats on a simple trip to a local shop for some condoms.

Well, enough is enough. We have scoured the history books, and discovered the four most despicable copycatting crimes of the last fifty years…

1 – The Rolling Stones, 1967

1967 was considered by many to be The Beatles‘ finest hour. They’d spent the preceding months going on zany psychedelic trips to find the most far-out sounds in the stratosphere, and emerged brandishing the Sergeant Pepper album. The world went totally bananas. That was July. By December, the Rolling Stones had unleashed their floppy imitation, Their Satanic Majesties Request, which came complete with songs about rainbows, and a picture on the sleeve of the bandmembers done up like Grand Wizards in the KKK sitting in a weird fairy tale kingdom. As accurate an interpretation of the hippy era as putting on a fedora and insisting you’re a cowboy.

Interestingly, it was the only album they ever produced themselves.

2 - Rocky II, 1979

On the back of the success of the first Rocky came this – exactly the same film. The first one found the moronic beefcake, played to perfection by Sly Stallone, go the distance with Apollo Creed, against the odds. At the end he loses, but he’s a winner because he tried. He starts bellowing “Adrian” from the corner of his mouth. In this one, against the odds he goes the distance against Apollo Creed, but WINS, and starts yelling something to Adrian from the corner of his mouth. By the last one, Adrian was dead. Of shame perhaps?

3 – Fame Academy, 2002

A year behind Pop Idol, and yet almost exactly the same, the BBC tried to fool everyone that Fame Academy was actually classier, because it had the word Academy in the title. And, look, it’s set in some kind of mansion. Oh, and our contestants aren’t contestants at all – they’re students. Students living in a mansion. Students who included series one winner smarmy David Sneddon, and series two winner Alex Parks, a diminutive lesbian who triumphed despite sounding precisely like a foghorn talking to a trumpet. Lemar aside, this had no redeeming features, while Pop Idol was never anything short of totally brilliant. Hang your head, so-called Mr BBC.

4 – Jodie Marsh, 1978 -

It’s hard to know where Jodie Marsh begins and ends, she is a walking amalgamation of some of the worst celebrities ever churned from the conveyor belt. She has spent years copycatting the most vile UK celebs, and has now morphed into a freakish fusion of Danielle Lloyd, Jordan, Jade Goody, and, most recently, Amy Winehouse with her sudden lust for tattoos. Only in Jodie’s case, the tatts were seemingly penned by a nervous asthmatic, working hurriedly from his garage. They’re completely awful.

Like that, did you? Then go over to Interestment immediately. Josh has got this sort of stuff coming out the wazoo.

You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!

Get on that Lifetime.

OK, well sometimes the hope-giving is through their music. Take a man who was recently in a coma, for instance. His wife plugged some headphones into his ears, blasted I Can’t Get No Satisfaction, and then the guy’s ears started to tremble and bleed. That song does the exact same thing to us. It usually starts 1/3 into verse 1.

The guys ears didn’t really bleed – he miraculously woke up.

Nowadays whenever any of the Rolling Stones make the news, its for things like poon-jabbing a Russian bar-maid who’s so young she’s not entirely sure what communism actually is. Also they make the news for getting hit in the head with coconuts or something, getting those coconut-hit heads operated on (or something), and imbibing their parents by whatever means necessary.

No or something necessary for that last bit of sentence. Allegedly.

The Rolling Stones’ news-worthiness has just been stood on its ear. Suddenly they are famous for good reason. Suddenly they can be looked upon, not as gross and prunish, but as brave and overly-skinned.

Here’s what ContactMusic.com reports on the matter:

“The ROLLING STONES have been hailed unlikely life-savers after waking a British fan from a coma. Sam Carter lost consciousness after contracting severe anaemia but came to when his favourite Stones track, (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction was blasted into his ears. Ironically, the single was the first the retired baker bought when he was a teenager in 1965. Carter, from Stoke, England, was given just a 30 per cent survival rate by doctors, who advised his wife Eva to play his favourite track through headphones strapped to her husband’s head. Carter says, “I suddenly had a burst of energy and knew I had a lot more life left in me and that’s when I woke up – to the sound of the first song I ever bought.”

What Contact Music didn’t tell us in there is that the man who just awoke from the coma, well he’s gonna wait until the girl Geri Halliwell woke from a coma comes of age, and then they’re gonna make ex-coma babies to the beat of an extremely mediocre soundtrack.

Incidentally, there’s a reason Contact Music didn’t tell us any of that.

A very good reason.