Rolling Stones - HecklerSpray

5 Insane Versions Of Popular Movies That Almost Got Made

September 20th, 2012 By Tony McMillen

Imagine a world where George Lucas never made his Star Wars prequels. Someone actually blew the childhood rape whistle on him and his wretched schemes were thusly nixed. A place where Alan Moore?s comic book masterpiece Watchmen was never transformed into Zach Snyder?s shitty slow motion action porno. Instead it was an excellent HBO miniseries produced by Terry Gilliam. Whedon?s Firefly was never canceled and is still on air today. Michael Bay? Michael Bay is dead.

But while it's comforting to think about such a perfect world where all of nerdom?s proverbial boogeymen have been fittingly dispatched and all its most beloved treasures remain untarnished, I think it's even more fun to think about a world where the movies that actually almost happened here were made.

Mick Jagger Hates David Cameron But Likes Counting Beans

January 25th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Mick Jagger, a man with a face like a thousand ballsacks, is no political football! Nosiree! He doesn’t like to be aligned to any party, mainly because he knows that its not in his interests to side with anyone, lest he lose a bunch of fans.

With that, he doesn’t like Prime Minister David Cameron trying to rim him for public favour.

See, Davey Boy Cameron invited Mick Jagger (with all that swagger, whatever that means these days) to an event in?Switzerland. The event was about economics. Or, if you prefer, everyone out there was opening bank accounts so they don’t have to pay their taxes. That’s precisely what was going on.

Annie Lennox Shares Stress Relieving Tips (Note: Dave Stewart Is No Longer In Her Life)

November 15th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Imagine being Annie Lennox. Just think of that for a moment. Gah. It’s rubbish isn’t it? Just think, looking at Annie Lennox’s face in the mirror. Imagine hearing that voice coming out every time you spoke.

Imagine people saying “Hello Annie Lennox” at you. It’s enough to make you want to die.

Annie Lennox has noticed this too, opening up about her battle with panic attacks thanks to being Annie Lennox. However, she’s decided to share some tips with us all about getting over stress, panic and anxiety. You’ll notice that her life is a lot less Dave Stewart based these days, so we suspect the main tip would be “don’t ever work with Dave Stewart – have you heard that terrible cod-reggae album he’s made with Mick Jagger and Joss Stone?”

Johnny Depp Likes Terrible Blues Jams With Keef As Much As Any Other Plodding Loser [VIDEO]

October 31st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

12 bar blues is a godsend for anyone who can make their way around a fretboard without ever switching their brain on. It enables bloated divs the chance to think that they can show off a little.

LOOK MAW! I DONE LEARNDID THAT GEETAW!

The Rolling Stones’ Keef Richards is a man that’s been hauling his melted ass around the world for nearly 500 years after kneeling at the altar of the blues jam and Johnny Depp has been caught jamming with the stonesman on video, pissing around with the same tired licks you’ve heard at every lousy two-bit music bar and house party.

SuperHeavy, The Collab With Jagger, Joss Stone, Dave Stewart And Damien Marley, Invents Ear Vomit

August 7th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Oh dear GOD! SuperHeavy – the collaboration between Mick Jagger and Eurythmics founder Dave Stewart, alongside Joss Stone, Damien Marley and Oscar-winning composer A.R. Rahman, wasn’t a sick joke after all.

See, it’s obvious what’s going on here. We’re dealing with the folly of the jet set. They’ve looked at absolutely everything they like and thrown it all in the same pot.

It’s like someone offering you a plate with all your favourite food on. Imagine a mixture of fish ‘n’ chips, a hamburger, apple pie, a cup of tea, blue cheese, Coco Pops, gumbo, bacon, 4 pints of beer and a punnet of strawberries all blitzed in a blender and offered to you as something worth downing.

Top 10 Weirdest Celebrity TV Commercials

August 7th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Celebrities have always endorsed tat to make a bit of extra coin for themselves. They’re a brazen bunch, willing to sign up to almost anything. It’s almost impressive really. They’re nakedly greedy and don’t mind showing it off.

From Iggy Pop’s dodgy insurance commercials to Chubby Checker endorsing his own beef jerky, there’s always someone trying to steal a coin from your pocket.

However, marketing and pop culture – as intertwined as they may be – don’t mix too well sometimes. This is why we’re going to have a look at some of the more peculiar celebrity endorsements.

Ronnie Wood’s Son Gets Beaten With Baseball Bats And We’re Supposed To Care

July 8th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Ronnie Wood – a man who looks like all four faces of Mount Rushmore packed into one particularly perished melon – is of course, rock royalty. This means that, away from him mugging on-stage with The Rolling Stones, we’re supposed to care about the other aspects of his life.

So has something bad happened to Ron Wood? Well, apart from that whole midlife crisis and running off with a woman 300 years younger than him, not really.

See, his youngest son, Tyrone, has been beaten up really badly with a baseball bat while on holiday in Greece. But we’ve never heard of him before, so we can just treat it like any no-mark who has had their arse handed to them, right?

HecklerPlay: The Stones Find Exile

August 7th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

On this day, way back in 1972, The Rolling Stones’ double LP ‘Exile On Main Street’ went to No.1 on the UK chart, and cemented ‘That Stones Sound’, aped by many, but never bettered. The legacy of ‘Exile’ can be seen in the posturing of Aerosmith and the Black Crowes, and alsoin the blues-grits of The Black Keys and more.

It seemed that it took a bunch of pasty English blokes to realise the roots of American music, to fully translate it into white longhair shorthand.

With ‘Exile’, the Stones took soul, country, blues and rock ‘n’ roll and melded them all together in a muggy soup, kicking the door in for excesses and Memphis horn-led boogles that would see the band again being taken seriously and, very very nearly falling to pieces.

HecklerPlay: The Day The Riff From Satisfaction Was Born And The World Was Caught By The Fuzz

August 7th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

It is usually the reserve of pasty, fat white blokes in cord jackets and ill-fitting stonewashed demin kecks to parp on about the greatest riffs in rock. Smoke On The Water and Voodoo Chile are predictably wheeled out for the gazillionth time, leaving them sounding pedestrian and wan.

However, one riff that never fails to send your hair on end is the opening fuzz of the Rolling Stones’ ‘(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction’.

And it was on this very day, back in 1965, in a hotel room in Clearwater, Florida, that Mick Jagger and Keith Richards sat down with a newly purchased Gibson fuzz-box and worked out one of the most electrifying riffs in rock, paving the way for everyone to get in on the fuzz guitar action.

WEBTHUMP! 21 July 2010

August 7th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

10 – Like animated things? Well, this blog is a shrine to cool shorts, gifs from feature length films and all that good stuff? ? FuckYeahAnimation

9 ? Parrot does vaguely disappointing tricks to entertain crushingly lonely man ? here

8 – Want nightmares after looking at dolls? Well, check out the Burt Reynolds Crab Thing and a swinging foetus doll? – Buzzfeed

7 – People ride a gigantic skateboard… or is it tint people on a normal one? ? here

6 – Watch super rare Rolling Stones documentary for free, legally and online – Electric Roulette

5 ? Want to see Norman Wisdom in a psychedelic club in the ’60s? ? What’s Good For The Goose

4 ? Iggy and the Stooges have the most brilliant rider in rock ‘n’ roll ? Lust For Laughs

3 ? Business cards are not always insultingly dull ? Hongkiat

2 ? Ace ’60s bubblegum wrappers with some decidedly weird looking flavours. ? Booberry Alarm Clock

1 ? Digital drugs? That’s the kind of thing that Chris Morris would make up right? WRONG! Yep. Over the jump is a very real news report talking about people getting high, digitally.