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With the news that Adele (her again!) is like, totes, going to write and release the theme for the new Bond film, us handsome devils at hecklerspray are going to take a look at the Top Ten Bond themes.
So get comfy, pour yourself a drink and get ready to agree with every single one of our choices.
Right?
Remember when the James Bond films were required viewing every Bank Holiday, he drove awesome cars and had a digital watch that could shoot lasers? And you were 10 years old and everything was completely brilliant?
Then you remember Roger Moore.
Well he’s back, and targeting …. erm. Pate and stuff.
Pierce Brosnan is, we imagine, furious that his news thunder may have been stolen by Moore, what with him soon reappearing on the telly in what sounds like a rubbish version of the Rockford Files. Read More >>>
If last night’s Oscars taught us anything, it’s that George Clooney can do no wrong.
There he was, right in the front row, pulling a thousand faces that made him look like everything from a bored child in church to a bored child in church with a nasty case of intestinal parasites, and the ladies still swooned all over him. Why? Because George Clooney and his ilk are lotharios. If only you could be more like him, eh? Eh?
Luckily, we’re here to help. To make sure that everyone has the chance to become an old-school jet-setting charmer like Clooney or Brad Pitt or Roger Moore, we’ve knocked up this handy guide to becoming an international charmer. Enjoy, and thank us later…
You knew what you got when Roger Moore was James Bond – safari jackets, volcano HQs and women called Felicity Nobgobbler.
Not any more, though. Daniel Craig is James Bond now, so that means that when you watch a James Bond film you’re essentially getting whatever happened in the last Bourne movie, but without any of the interesting bits about amnesia.
And this has upset Roger Moore. Moore says he’s saddened by all the flashy violence in the new Daniel Craig James Bond movies, and he wishes that 007 films could be more like the ones he made. The thing is, he’s got a point – we know we’d have enjoyed Quantum Of Solace quite a lot more if all the parkour scenes starred a wheezy old man in a corset who looks like he smells of urine-soaked leather instead of Daniel Craig.
Must be hard not to patronise people when you are James Bond.
When you can basically do anything, kill anything and shag anything while in the middle of saving the world, it can't be easy making small talk with us mere mortals. Usually, he tries to disguise it with terrible puns. Shocking! But every now and again he slips up (mainly on Roger Moore's watch).
Like women, fast cars and Martinis, he just can't help himself. There are many we could mention, but we have decided to cut them down to just five:
