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Stuff that Happened at the Grammys 2017

February 13th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

So the Grammys happened last night and no one gave less of a shit than me. Well, except for maybe Frank Ocean. As I said in my previous post, I haven’t really cared much about the Grammys since 1999, but as a highly professional celebrity blogger, I’m going to write about them anyway.

For the most part, the Grammys weren’t SUPER political, but that being said, politics were obviously present. That’s just the world we’re going to live in for a while; awards shows are going to be angry and political. However, aside from Katy Perry’s political performance of her shitty new song, other stuff happened at the Grammys! Here’s a rundown.

Tonight’s MTV VMAs Could Be Huge

August 28th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

So, as you might have been able to tell from my recent posts, I’m kind of jazzed about tonight’s MTV Video Music Awards. This is not a common thing. From the years 1995 – 2004, I was definitely always jazzed for them, but then I kind of got over it. In fact, the last time I was pumped for a VMAs was 2007 when Britney Spears gave her HORRIFIC ‘comeback’ performance.

I have not been excited for a VMAs until now. After 9 years of so-so shit, where the most interesting thing to happen on the VMAs stage was a drunk Kanye West snatching the mic from Taylor Swift, tonight’s VMAs has the potential to be legendary. Let me explain why.

10 Best MTV VMA Outfits of All Time

August 26th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

So, the MTV Video Music Awards are coming up this Sunday, and I have been watching this shit for legit 20 years which makes me feel old af. In celebration of me watching my 20th MTV Video Music Awards ceremony, I decided to spend this weekend looking back on some fond memories of mine.

Today, I’m going to look back at 10 of my favorite outfits from the VMAs over the years. I mean, I say the best outfits of all time, but I obviously mean since like 1995. Yes, I realize the awards have been around since like ’84, but I wasn’t alive then and MTV didn’t exist to me til ’95 so, you know, deal with it.

Miley Cyrus Actually Wears Pants and Other Boring AMAs Fashion

November 25th, 2013 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

On Sunday night, the American Music Awards happened, which means Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, and Katy Perry were all in one place at the same time, which means they should have been pulling out all the stops to out do each other. There should have been pasties, thongs, dresses made out of tampons, and nipple tassels that said “NWA” on them! But did any of that happen? Oh no. Instead, everyone looked really fucking nice.?

I expect a lot from my music awards shows. Usually, there is some type of over the top fuckery that everyone is talking about for days afterwards, and for the past couple of years what someone wore has been the main piece of controversy. I mean, Miley wore that god awful Tupac and Biggie dress to the EMAs, Lady Gaga wore that dress made of meat, Katy Perry wore that awful gold grill, and Rihanna brought Chris Brown to the Grammys this year (ok, not something she wore, but still in poor taste given he beat the crap out of her before the Grammys just a few years prior. People don’t forget). But the AMAs this year? Nothing.

The Beatles 1, People In Wheelchairs 0

March 30th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Do The Beatles hate people in wheelchairs? John Lennon was always ‘spazzing’ during the Fab Four’s shows in the 60s wasn’t he? Is there some kind of ablist agenda with the group? Surely not? Surely that can’t be right?

Executives at Apple Corps, which is the company set up by the assorted members of Mop Tops, have taken up a dispute with a load of wheelchairs.

And the wheelchairs didn’t stand a chance in the face of the might that is The Most Famous Band Who Ever Lived.

Sir Elton John Is Pregnant

March 29th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Amazing news! Sir Elton John is planning to have another baby, apparently! That’s right, the bitch is back and he’s pregnant with his second child. Of course, his partner?David Furnish has had something to do with it.

When Elton gives birth, it’ll be a delightful sibling for 14-month-old son Zachary.

We do worry about Elton John’s wee-way though. How does one go about squeezing a child out of your little wang? With him being a celebrity, he’ll probably have a C-section won’t he? How terribly fashionable.

The Libertines Weren’t Just “Drug Taking Idiots” – They Were Tuneless Simpletons As Well

March 26th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

The bloke who used to be the drummer in The Libertines (no-one cares what his name is) is hoping that a new Libertines film called There Are No Innocent Bystanders will allow people see the band in a different light.

Of course, any right minded person will find out when the screenings are for this film and do us all a massive favour and burn down the screens and everyone in there, who have decided to watch this document of the world’s biggest?syphilitic nincompoops.

If there’s one thing worse than Pete Doherty & Co, its the awful, awful, awful fans.

HecklerPlay: Musicians, Famous For The Wrong Reasons

August 4th, 2012 By Si Sharp

On this week in 2000, Yusuf Islam (previously known as Cat Stevens) joined the campaign to fight the government?s repeal of Section 28.?Section 28 was the ban on homosexuality being ?promoted? in schools. By ?promoted?, what it really meant was ?being told that it existed?.

Those that sought to keep Section 28 thought that it was an essential piece of legislation that was all that stood between the bottoms of our innocent schoolchildren and a queue of 2000 predatory gays with unquenchable erections, such is the uniquely paranoid perspective of the bigoted mind.

Luckily the Section 28 thing has been forgotten and despite his high-profile religious conversion he is still mainly famous for writing some pretty ditties. Other tunesmiths have not been so lucky though and have become better known for other, similarly embarrassing behaviour.*

HecklerPlay: Top 10 Songs About Masturbation

August 4th, 2012 By Si Sharp

Musicians think about sex a lot.?They must do, it's almost the only thing they write about. Popstars live to defile their young screaming fans. Rockers know they've made it when there are aspiring muses knocking on the dressing room door.

Hip-hop has a frankly terrifying capacity for the horn.

Frankly it's a miracle they get any work done at all with heads overflowing with images of baps, flaps and todgers. In fact such is the unstoppable high-pressure filth fawcet in their addled brains that doing it with others doesn't fill their schedules and sometimes they combine their libidinous obsessions with their other favourite pastime- loving themselves.