When we make lists, they’re usually pretty easy to do. You just take your own opinion of something, prioritise it and throw it in an article without giving the consequences much thought. As such, we still have people arguing the toss (pun intended) over our ‘Top’ Sci-Fi babes & newscasters.
Of course, some lists aren’t that easy to come up with and require rigorously observed criteria in order to make them acceptable for the delicate eyes of our readers.
Our quest was long and arduous but we got there in the end.
Robocop was, in a way, the original plastic police officer, except he was made of metal and could actually arrest people, unlike his real life counterparts.
Made from the parts of an old police officer who was brutally murdered by Red Foreman from That 70s Show and scraps of metal collected from a dumpster out the back of the General Motors warehouse, Robocop kicked crimes ass all over Detroit.
People loved Robocop because he stood for law and order, by any means necessary. He was also near indestructible and made an awesome whirring sound whenever he moved, plus he had a massive gun and if there’s one things American’s love, it’s a hero with a miniature cannon strapped to them at all times.
There are certain places that you’re allowed to swear: in the bedroom of a loved one during some sort of steamy romp, a rum-fuelled pool party round Samuel L. Jackson’s house, a Derek & Clive record.
But there are other places where it’s not so cool to swear: in the bedroom of a dying relative during some sort of last rites, a fundraiser for a Pentecostal Church-sponsored under-eight’s netball team, ON AMERICAN TELEVISION AT ANY TIME AT ALL.
What happens when sweary movies are shown on some of the more sensitive US networks? I mean, the best films feature those dastardly curse-words, don’t they? Whether it’s Joe Pesci telling some ‘C-word’ to go ‘eff his Mother’, Jason Statham telling you to ‘suck his so and so’ or Clark Gable telling Olivia de Havilland in Gone With The Wind that, “Quite frankly, you fucking slag, I couldn’t give a fisherman’s piss!”
10 – Thank heavens. After tomorrow, all YouTube videos will be like this one again…
9 - The 15 worst porno ideas ever. Hint – your mum accounts for 14 of them – Cracked
8 -Robocop and a unicorn, together at last. Beautiful – Flickr
7 - The five best and five worst Tim Burton movies. As if you didn’t know already - Film
6 - Gratuitous self-promotion, yes, but here’s something Stu wrote for another website. It’s about, bleurgh, the election -Kontraband
5 - Hey, look, The Onion invented Joe The Plumber over a decade ago – Theonion
4 - Are you following hecklerspray on Twitter? Because you should be, and we’re not going to ask you again – Twitter
3 - Songs that sound suspiciously like other songs, with audio -Jamsbio
2 – A Dominoes pizza experiment that’s so perfect we might just cry -Thesneeze
1 – This is what happens if the closest thing you have to social interaction is a computer and a copy of Thriller. All recorded with his mouth – I Am Bored
Like many people we enjoyed the original RoboCop, except for one thing – the ending wasn't depressing enough.
True, it was exciting enough when RoboCop stabbed that bad guy with the glasses, and touching when he referred to himself by his human name afterwards, but that's hardly very depressing, is it?
Are we the only ones who wanted to see RoboCop, his arms septic and withered from years of crippling heroin addiction, putting on a soul-destroying lesbian dildo show for a gaggle of sleazy businessmen?
Perhaps we are. But we always get what we want, which is why we're not completely surprised to hear that Darren Aronofsky - the director of Requiem For A Dream – is in talks to direct a new version of RoboCop. Seriously.
When we make lists, they’re usually pretty easy to do. You just take your own opinion of something, prioritise it and throw it in an article without giving the consequences much thought. As such, we still have people arguing the toss (pun intended) over our ‘Top’ Sci-Fi babes & newscasters.
Robocop was, in a way, the original plastic police officer, except he was made of metal and could actually arrest people, unlike his real life counterparts.
