So recently Robert Pattinson has admitted to acting on Valium, plus he’s just filmed a graphic gay sex scene.

But that’s hardly controversial. Sure, all the drugs and gay sex might alienate Robert Pattinson’s tweeny female fans, but not as much as the news that’s just emerged about him – Robert Pattinson wants to record a duet with chinny Will Young.

The implications of this duet are massive – leading particle scientists have declared that, should Robert Pattinson and Will Young ever collaborate on tape, the resulting charisma vacuum would likely tear a hole in the space/time continuum and destroy us all.