If you’re a Robert Pattinson fan, we have some bad news – Rob loves his dog more than he loves any human.

But it gets worse. Robert Pattinson is also allergic to vaginas. Honestly, he said as much in a recent interview with a magazine that made him stand next to a naked woman for a number of hours, so it must be true. But it gets worse – Robert Pattinson also has a face that looks like it was constructed by a satirical sculptor who only works in the medium of papier mache.

That didn’t come up in the magazine interview, by the way, but that doesn’t make it any less true.