Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart

Kristen Stewart Wasn’t Faking Her Romantic Relationships With Dudes

August 4th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Kristen Stewart’s likability rating has gone up significantly in my books since the end of Robsten and the birth of adorable gayelle K-Stew. And while Kristen Stewart announcing that she’s “like, so gay” on Saturday Night Live made all the sense in the world given how she’s always come across, Stewart wants you to know she wasn’t faking her romantic relationships with dudes.

Stewart, who is currently one half of my favourite celebrity lesbian couple (the other half being supermodel Stella Maxwell), recently chatted with Harper’s Bazaar UK about shit like perfume and her sexuality. You know, just girly things!

T-Pain is Terrible at Keeping Secrets

April 2nd, 2015 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

If you ever have a really important secret that you don’t want the world finding out, like that you have herpes or you think Khloe Kardashian is the prettiest Kardashian sister, then I strongly suggest you do not tell T-Pain, because that auto-tuned motherfucker does not know how to keep his mouth shut. In a recent radio interview T-Pain was asked about working with FKA Twigs and he dropped the bombshell that she was busy touring and being engaged to Robert Pattinson.

Once he realized he’d not only put his foot in his mouth, but his whole body from the waist down, he tried to play the whole thing off like it was an April Fool’s joke, but it was too late. Every Twi-hard from here to Ohio to Cairo (I assume there are Twi-hards everywhere) were officially crying tears of rage and betrayal into homemade “ROBSTEN FOREVER” T-Shirts.

Has Kristen Stewart Come Out Yet?

February 18th, 2015 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Kristen Stewart is a bit on an anomaly to me. For years, people have assumed she was a secret lesbian because of the way she dressed and presented herself, but I never thought much into that because myself and K. Stew have very similar styles and I too have been mistaken for a lesbian because of my love of plaid and Canadian tuxedos. For years, she was one half of the scarily popular couple, Robsten, with Robert Pattinson, but lately it seems like maybe all those lesbian theories were true.

Aside from the fact she cut her hair off short (an OBVIOUS sign of lesbianism….God I hope people get my sarcasm), K. Stew has an alleged girlfriend who she even holds hands with in public sometimes. So, maybe 2015 will be the year Kristen Stewart turns it all around and makes me like her?

Kristen Stewart Would Like Everyone To Eff Off Now, Please

November 5th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

There’s a good chance that Kristen Stewart is the most envied girl on the face of the planet right now.

Why? Just look at her. She doesn’t just get to kiss Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner all day long, but she actually gets paid to do it. No wonder Kristen Stewart recently topped an imaginary poll of stars who teenage girls would most like to secretly kill in order to dance around in a nightmarish suit made out of their skin.

And how does Kristen Stewart react to all this scrutiny of her private life? By telling the entire world to jolly well eff off, obviously.

Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart ‘In Love’, And Other Nauseating Guff

September 9th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

New Moon will be released soon – so soon, in fact, that we can almost smell the mixture of black nail polish and teenage urine from here.

But there’s trouble on the horizon. According to magazine reports this week, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have dramatically fallen in love and their relationship is threatening to pull the success of? New Moon apart. Wait, did we say ‘threatening to pull New Moon apart’? Because we meant ‘coming off like a cynical marketing stunt designed exclusively to make millions of useless teenage girls become even more unbearably excited about New Moon‘.

Our mistake.

Are Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Having It Off Or What?

August 17th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

The onscreen chemistry between Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart is what makes Twilight so popular.

Actually, that’s a fib. Sorry. Cynical marketing aimed at a notoriously stupid demographic is what makes Twilight so popular – Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have the onscreen chemistry of two learning-disabled second-hand toilet brushes after an extensive series of amateur lobotomies. But, hey, that’s just onscreen – offscreen Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are totally doing it.

Probably. They went to a Kings Of Leon concert on Saturday and were photographed having what appears to be a little snog, anyway. Romantic. And sort of off-puttingly grubby.

Shock! Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Literally Eat Some Food!

June 2nd, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have something of a ‘will they, won’t they?’ relationship. That much is clear to see.

By which we obviously mean ‘will they or won’t they find any form of meaningful acting work once they’ve finished starring in those terrible Twilight films?’ To which the answer, in all honesty, is ‘probably not, no’. But until we can find a definitive answer to that, let’s just arbitrarily speculate on whether or not Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are doing it with each other.

They both ate dinner alone together on Sunday, you know. Which definitely proves, um, something.